Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Farm where Man was F**Ked to Death by Horse

Do you remember that case of the man who was f**k-ed to death by a stallion? I am sure you all do ;-)

Well, it occurred at an Enumclaw-area farm in Washington State (not Washington DC – the State is on the western coast, just south of the Canadian border)

Detectives are investigating the owners of the farm after learning of its connection with the death of the ... eh ... stallion-rammed man.

It seemed the … eh … severely injured ... eh ... devastated? … man was dropped off at the hospital, which has a surveillance camera. From that video they traced the license plate of the car that dropped the very-f**k-ed man off at the hospital.

Sorry if I sounded a wee obscene with the F-word but I did try to minimise its use by switching to the euphemistic ‘severely injured’ and 'devastated', but really, those are too much of a mouthful and may even be misleading - you might mistake him for a combat wounded from Iraq.

From that licence plate, detectives traced the event of the … eh … f**k-ed-to-death man - now, that's more to the point, wouldn't you agree? - to the farm and the other people involved, who were no doubt sh*tting bricks by then (last part is KTemoc's speculation).

Meanwhile back at the hospital, the county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental as the result of having sex with a horse. Precise and to the point. I like such terse but accurate reports.

Look, surely you can't blame the horse for being very ... eh ... BEEEG so it has to be accidental. OK?

As mentioned in my previous posting, it’s not a crime for both men or horse because bestiality is not illegal in Washington State. Furthermore, there was no need to drag in the ASPCA as the horse was uninjured. Maybe horsey even enjoyed the episode, though admittedly the ending was a little sad – no more partners for you, you naughty horsey stud.

But wait, tell the ASPCA to hang on because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property. Now, having sex with these smaller, weaker animals may involve a case of animal cruelty, which is a crime - so declared the Sheriff’s office. BTW sir, did you discover any rabbits?

In fact on further investigations, the Sheriff found that the farm was not completely unknown. It has been talked about in Internet chat rooms (but what about blogsites?). Through such chat rooms the farm has been known for a while as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock.

He added "A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm."

Omigosh & f**king sheez, pardon me, I meant ‘galloping bonkers’.

The US Humane Society and the local animal-rights organisation Pasado's Safe Haven will highlight this case of extreme paraphilia - hey, told you guys I have just learnt this word – why then not use it- afterall that’s what education is for.

They intend to push for bestiality to be outlawed in Washington State. They don’t want animals to be sexually abused, especially smaller weaker ones like rabbits. And having sex with animals is really 'cruelty behind closed doors', even if only stable doors.

Hey man, afterall, 33 states out of the fifty in the USA ban sex with animals. If they can get Washington State to fall into line, that will leave only 16 states in America that allows bestiality. Pat Robertson should be proud that only one-third of the USA is permitted to practise what Sodom & Gomorrah did.

But what about big animals like the stallion which seemed to have enjoyed ... eh ... whatever ... that tore the naughty but unfortunate bloke apart? I wonder how it would have turned out with a meanie like a grizzly bear?

Too many questions, KTemoc, and you are not even an American.

(1) Unnatural Sexual Arousals & Acts
(2) F**Ked to Death by a Horse
(3) Kiwi Rabbit Fucker
(4) Arrested for F***ing Rabbits!

and as a special bonus

(5) A New Zealand Story

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