Sunday, August 31, 2014

Happy 57th Birthday Malaysia

I acknowledge that Sabah and Sarawak (and Singapore) officially joined Malaya to form Malaysia only on 16 September 1963, but in actuality Tunku and the 3 State leaders had agreed on and planned the merger for 31 August that same year.

It was Indonesia's late President Soekarno (and the SUPP) who questioned and objected to Sabah and Sarawak merging with Malaya which led to a fact-finding commission before the 'yes' vote was ascertained, and the new state of Malaysia came into being on 16 September 1963.

What do we see after 57 years of self rule particularly for Peninsula Malaysia (Malaya)?

Ah Jib Gor gives us this 3-part message:

* Strengthen the solidarity of Malaysians, including unity in grief, in the face of challenges and tests.

* Cultivate confidence that we can achieve any ambitions as a nation if there is unity.

*  Leaving behind a prosperous and peaceful Malaysia

But he may have problems achieving his 3 admittedly very noble aims because we know that UMNO wants ketuanan Melayu, and yes, PAS also wants ketuanan Melayu, as confessed very recently by a PAS leader, Exco Pemuda PAS Dr Fadli Ghani).

Islam is supranationalistic which means PAS' claimed Islamic credentials have been subordinated to its ethno-nationalistic preference, which in turn means it's just a branch of UMNO, which actually is a fact, that PAS was a branch or splinter group of UMNO as PKR was too, wakakaka.

I am not sure what this PAS' message means for the future of Pakatan, but I suspect it will be gloomy.

MCA is actually dead but moving along only due to business, to wit, a political zombie without support from the group it claims to represent, the Chinese Malaysians, and surviving in zombie state only at the sufferance of Ah Jib Gor - I suspect he wants to deal with it in a big way (maybe I'll blog on it soon, wakakaka).

Anyway, MCA wants ketuanan perniagaan.

MIC is no better than MCA. It only wants senatorship, datukship and the buruh ship.

Wait, wasn't that how it started on 31 August 1957, Perikatan consisting of UMNO, MCA and MIC?

Merdeka Merdeka Merdeka!

Good Lord, was Tunku waving a keris?
If he was, somehow he didn't frighten us as the cousins did.


Happy birthday Malaysia.

Saturday, August 30, 2014


'Titah' in the Malay language means 'royal word or command', thus when a Malay ruler speaks, he is said to 'bertitah'. And when the ruler 'mentitahkan', it means he commands or decrees. Thus it's not a word for commoners, as you hoi polloi and kaytee are, wakakaka.

'titah' holds much reverence for Malays, especially those of conservative outlook and even those of the younger set who advocate ethno-nationalism in preference to multiculturalism and liberalism, perhaps out of fear, hatred or whatever emotional reason.

To ignore a 'titah' in Peninsula Malaysia including Penang and Malacca states invites not just criticisms but also much outrage and in some isolated incidents, even possibly violence.

Okay, there's no denying that the politically opportunistic had and still have ridden on the back of such a characteristic allegiance to a ruler, of course for their own political interests rather than that of the liege lord.

Today, in our nation which was borned out of social consensus, federalism, Westminster democracy, secularism (but uniquely recognizing Islam as the nation's official religion), and constitutional monarchy, the power of 'titah' still remains steadfastly strong amongst the Malays.

Even Malays who support the democratic system in a constitutional monarchy feel awkwardly uncomfy when a 'titah' clashes with constitutional limits of a monarch, effectively a clash between cultural affiliation and democratic process, such is the deep set devoted allegiance of Malays to their liege lord.

Such allegiance is not unique among the Malays. For example, the Chinese were also similarly loyal to their emperors.

However, with the Chinese there was one difference, call it an 'escape clause' if you like. They have what was termed the 'Mandate of Heaven'. An emperor ruled only by virtue of the Mandate of Heaven he had received or was blessed with. When he lost the Mandate, he was emperor no more [or when he was emperor no more, he had lost the Mandate], and a new emperor (who had since been blessed or received the Mandate) reigned.

Thus if a Chinese emperor was cruel, tyrannical and an unmitigated despot, and needed to be deposed, exiled or even killed, the perpetrators would pass the word that His Imperial Majesty had lost the Mandate, usually indicated by some signs of suffering among the people, preferably from natural disasters like flooding, drought, locust devastation of crops, earthquake, eclipse (but must still be associated with national massive suffering), or even man-made disasters such as famine, etc.

The seditious words then passed around to remove the tyrannical ruler was not unlike modern political (negative) campaigning

On second thoughts, it would seem the Malays once (perhaps twice, wakakaka) might have shared such a similar belief, and was even expressed poetically, though not a la the Chinese's Mandate of Heaven.

When one of Malay-dom's greatest warriors laid dying in his Best Friend's arms, he gave it straight right to the very guts of Best Friend with his dying breath, and in words that rhymed too: "Raja adil raja disembah, raja zalim raja disanggah".

Warrior's philosophy about royalty was totally at odds with his Best Friend, who was completely loyal to this ruler. One today wonders whether those last words to Best Friend were advice, criticism or bitter sarcasm?

Why bitter sarcasm? Please read on.

Best Friend was ordered by the ruler to be summarily executed on the basis of mere salacious gossip, that Best Friend was bonking Ruler's fave concubine.

But he was not executed because the Bendahara Paduka Raja (PM) knew the gossip was bullsh*t and a rather sinister celaka fabrication. So PM secretly removed Best Friend and hid him safely away - no, no, no, the PM was not Ah Jib Gor but someone in the 15th Century. Please pay close attention - we are talking about events 500 years ago, wakakaka.

Not realizing his absent Best Friend was still alive, Warrior sought justice for Best Friend in revenge and created havoc and chaos for the ruler, who he considered an unjust tyrant for executing Best Friend on the basis of gossip.

Warrior ignored every 'titah' to cease and desist. But no one had the fighting skills to match or overcome Warrior so he continued f**king around unfettered (in some instances, literally). Ruler panicked, asked PM for help a.s.a.p.

Abracadabra, Best Friend was then brought out to defend the ruler and he immediately obeyed the 'titah' and succeeded in killing Warrior, BUT ONLY after some sly dishonest cheating in getting a magic keris back from Warrior's possession. Hmmm, would the moral of this particular section of the story be that cheating succeeds?

Yessir, Best Friend killed the very person who had defended his honour against injustice.

The irony of Best Friend killing his buddy Warrior in compliance with a 'titah' was because Best Friend was completely devoted and loyal to his ruler, so much so that he ignored their friendship and the fact that the man he killed for the ruler was the very man who defended his name against the ruler's injustice.

Can you think of a person today who would be that loyal to a ruler, even against the imperatives of democracy, personal honour and friendship?

But let's move on as I don't want you readers to waste your time mulling over the intriguing dilemma of a 15th Century story, wakakaka.

By the by, just a puzzling question on 'titah' then - remember that Bendahara who hid Best Friend away when the ruler wanted him executed? How come the Bendahara was able to get away unscathed from ignoring a 'titah'?

To summarize, such seditious behaviour as those of Warrior, notwithstanding he would today be deemed a Just & Brave Fighter, are considered rare and traitorous in the Malay World, and had happened only twice.

The first significant anti-'titah' episode was in the 15th Century, which we have just discussed in the preceding paragraphs in the Tale of a just Warrior, his so-called Best Friend, a tyrannical Ruler and a disloyal Bendahara.

Wait, why have I considered the Bendahara Paduka Raja disloyal?

Well, didn't he biadap-ishly and seditiously ignored the ruler's 'titah' to execute Best Friend?

Incidentally the disloyalty of the Bendahara Paduka Raja proves that (i) some people could ignore a 'titah' and still emerge spelling like roses and, (ii) some people could belakang pusing by ordering the execution of someone but subsequently feting and honouring that same someone, wakakaka.

The second significant virtual anti-'titah' episode occurred 500 years later, wakakaka, and like the 15th Century Bendahara Paduka Raja, all emerged spelling like roses, wakakaka again.

So, today how does one reconcile a 'titah' which is against the limits of a constitutional monarch?

If one ignores a 'titah' will one be like:

  • the just Warrior who ended up killed, or
  • the disloyal Bendahara but who ended being praised and rewarded?

Share with me your thoughts, wakakaka, and me being a member of the hoi polloi, it's NOT a 'titah' ;-).

Friday, August 29, 2014

A kaytee offer to Ah Jib Gor

I am offering myself as PM Najib's political strategist because whoever is currently doing the job for him has not been doing it well.

Three days ago, in my post Sedition! For what purpose? I asked:

Are these gross persecutions (and prosecutions) against Pakatan politicians nothing more than a Najib-Zahid grand-staging to show the Heartland that even without the ISA, the Najib government is still firmly in control, and that Dr Mahathir has been unduly and unnecessarily worried and stirring shit for no purpose, and thus to be ignored for crying out "the sky is falling down, the sky is falling down!"? Wakakaka.

Just less than 2 weeks ago, Malaysia's foremost éminence grise, Dr Mahathir, withdrew his support for his once-protégé. TMI reported:

Dr Mahathir said Najib’s slide began when the latter listened to his “enemies’ demands” and abolished the Internal Security Act in 2011 and the Restrictive Residents Act, which allowed the government to detain anyone including suspected criminals without trial.

“These actions did not reduce opposition from the other side. Instead, crime increased because many gang leaders were released.”

And in a most merajuking mode, he wailed (sorry Tun wakakaka, hope I won't be hauled up on this verb for sedition, wakakaka again - besides it's in the past tense, wakakaka):

“But the views of the race and the party, which had all this while supported and saved the government, are not given fair treatment.”

Though Musa Hitam, Dr M's erstwhile sidekick in the hey-days of the Double-M Administration wakakaka, had dismissed the doctor's merajuking as something that won't go away unless and until there is a clone of Dr Mahathir sitting in the PM's seatI suspect Najib, being Najib wakakaka, has been making quiet efforts to placate, please and polay-so (manja-sayang) his saviour-mentor as well as those in the Heartland and Hardheaded Land who might listen to Malaysia's political Moses and take every word to heart and head, wakakaka.

Yes sir, Najib knows the fate of his predecessor AAB and while he doesn't have the added disadvantage of a  son-in-law who's detested by Dr M as AAB has, wakakaka, he has probably decided to play safe from the wrath of a Hell that hath no fury like an über éminence grise scorned, wakakaka.

Besides, Musa Hitam sounded some dire warnings for Najib, as reported by TMI:

"Look at all the deputies who served during Dr Mahathir's 22 years in office. I was considered dangerous. Tun Ghafar Baba (1986-1993) was considered to be all right, loyal. Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim (1993-1998) was considered to be a terrible fellow."

"Anwar was said to be disloyal and alleged to have done this and that. Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi (1999-2003) was such a nice guy,"

... but obviously a perception by Dr M which didn't last, because ...

Musa said it did not take long before Dr Mahathir viewed Abdullah as being Malaysia's worst and weakest prime minister simply because Abdullah disregarded his wishes.

"So out with him,” he said with a wave of his hand. [...]

Musa said when Najib succeeded Abdullah, Dr Mahathir was announcing that the former was his boy and was busy advising him to do this and that.

"But when it appeared that Najib knew his mind and was doing things on his own, it got worse and worse for Dr Mahathir.

"Dr Mahathir felt that Najib was not consulting him on important issues but instead subjecting himself to foreign influences," Musa said.

"That is Dr Mahathir for you, do not believe what he says about claiming that his criticism of Putrajaya is friendly advice.

"His objective is to get Najib out of Putrajaya."

Aisehman, this is velly cheah-lart one (terlampau teruklah, drastic).

But alas, what I had suspected as a Najib-Zahid strategy has an unpleasant side effect because it relies solely on Pakatan scapegoats like Teresa Kok, RSN Rayer, Khalid Samad, N Surendran, Nizar Jamaluddin, Tian Chua, Nik Nazmi, and Rafizi Ramli. It shows up Najib, rather than the AG, as an oppressive man in power who persecutes (not only prosecutes) the federal opposition - an impression which my consultancy will remedy. 

Sweetie Teresa Kok pointed out the following where by shameful contrast no one had been charged (as reported by TMI):

* A group slaughtered a chicken and offered a reward to those who could slap her when they protested against her video, "Onederful Malaysia" but Home Minister Datuk Seri Dr Ahmad Zahid Hamidi had said there was no necessity to investigate the protest.

* Umno mouthpiece Utusan Malaysia asked "What more do the Chinese want?” (Apa lagi Cina mau?) after Barisan Nasional’s poor showing in the 13th general election last year. BN claimed the Chinese and urban voters supported the opposition when it increased its parliamentary seats from 82 to 89.

* A website had reported early last year that Malay right-wing group Perkasa president Datuk Ibrahim Ali had called for the Alkitab to be burnt.

* Sinar Harian carried an article (Kesbaran umat Islam ada had) by Ridhuan Tee Abdullah early last year that insulted Indians.

* Kok also raised the video clip of Datuk Zulkifli Nordin (where he had asked why Hindu gods did not stop flood) reported by The Malaysian Insider in March last year.

* The movie "Tanda Putera", where its director, Suhaimi Baba, had insinuated that the Chinese were responsible for the May 13 (1969) racial riots in Kuala Lumpur.

* Kok also pointed to the racial criticism by Nasir Safar against the Chinese and Indians at a 1Malaysia course, which was reported by The Malaysian Insider, on June 28, 2010. Nasir was Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak's former aide.

Hmmm, no mention of pro UMNO blogs, particularly one? Wakakaka.

So now Najib looks bad rather than righteously firm and justified in his action against those who allegedly besmirched or slandered his name and reputation.

ndeed Ah Jib Gor, why only now when previously you didn't even bother, correctly so, about those rather nasty allegations, insinuations and at-times fabrications about your alleged dalliance with Shaariibuu Altantuyaa. If anything, you would have then been more justified to sue the sh*t out of those accusers.

If Najib engages me as a consultant, wakakaka, I would still recommend the same strategy BUT with an even handed approach in its implementation where I would persuade the PM to also sembilih some BN sacrificial goats wakakaka, in the way Dr M did during Ops Lalang, so as to present an image of a fair PM who is firm, righteous, correctly stern and fed up with all the current monkey business, especially in Selangor, which have been dragging Malaysia backwards when our nation ought to be progressing forward.

My recommendations would include charging the following personalities (mind, not an exhaustive list of) for sedition, a charge which would have been on par with, if not better than the screwy silly stupid 'celaka' charge of sedition against RSN Rayer:

(a) Tengku Adnan for attempting to get rid of Malaysia's soup kitchen - an affront to humanitarianism (which I'll present as Najib's and Rosmah's major compassionate concern - surely more than a few votes here),

(b) Those misery mean mafulat-ish misogynists who object to a woman becoming MB of a state - an affront to our Malaysian sweethearts and an issue very close to Najib's equal-opportunity heart (or he'd be in trouble at home, wakakaka - undeniably more than a few votes here), where UMNO's, PAS' and several other misogynists can be neutered ... oops typo wakakaka ... I mean neutralized, wakakaka,

(c) The Chief of Armed Forces for talking cock in his extracurricular pomposity - this will eventually start an escalating upward flow of personnel in the armed forces hierarchical echelon to fill his 'vacated' place wakakaka, and will definitely earn the votes of those newly promoted, wakakaka.

(d) Khalid Ibrahim for insulting Pakatan by saying there is no such thing as a Pakatan government in Selangor - this one is truly lovely as it only sacrifices a soon-to-be non-player and will (i) shut the f* up of those Pakatan whingers of Najib's unfairness, and best of all (ii) set a mighty Ah Jib Gor warning tone in 'Selangor' (nudge nudge wink wink) without being overtly or bluntly Mahathir-ish, wakakaka (again, many votes which may result in BN-UMNO creeping back up to the 50% mark in the DUN), and

(e) last but not least, if Ah Jib Gor has the nerve, implementing English idioms, aphorisms and sayings such as 'taking the bull by the horns' a la 'belling the cat' by 'bearding the lion' so as to 'cut the Gordian's knot' and remove 'the millstone around his neck'.


And I guarantee PM Najib will emerge truly popular, or money back (my paycheck returned), wakakaka.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Wànsuì wànwànsuì

I am not sure where the current constitutional crisis in Selangor is going, but at least let's not mince words, that there is in fact a constitutional crisis.

In more than one way the royal person of HRH Sultan of Selangor has been and is involved, directly or indirectly.

I personally see the Selangor crisis as far more complicated and even severe than the 2008 Perak constitutional crisis involving Allahyarham Raja Azlan Shah. Then, debatable as the involvement of Allahyarham Raja Azlan Shah had been and still would be, at least it could be said he had indisputable numbers in his favour.

According to quite a few constitutional law experts, HRH Sultan of Selangor has gone beyond his constitutional powers and privileges in demanding for more than one name for the Selangor MB post.

They asserted HRH can't do that as he must approve the person who commands the majority of the state assembly as the MB, in exactly the same way DYMM SPB Agong must (had to) approve various PMs from Tunku to Razak to Hussein Onn to Dr Mahathir to ... ooops (wakakaka) ... AAB to Najib - no if's no but's, full stop.

Note the term 'must approve' which means HRH has no leeway ...

... unless the opposition or police can prove to him that the person proposed by the majority party is not qualified due to mental, medical or legal grounds such as, examples, ...

... known to be suffering from severe mental depression (eg. for fear of the Chinese taking over Malaysia, wakakaka), has brain cancer (quite unlikely as many politicians have no brain, wakakaka) or serious heart disease (too much santan? wakakaka), is or will be (or perhaps even has been) a bankrupt or has major debt issues (by several millions, wakakaka), is currently facing a possible criminal conviction (eg. has been accused of statutory rape or facing charges of biting a policeman, wakakaka) and ...

... demonstrated lamentable biadap-ish anti-royalty acts like what former UMNO MPs Affifudin Omar and Wan Hanafiah Wan Mat Saman did in 1992, likely with the imprimatur given by UMNO leaders, wakakaka.

But the job of scrutinising the MB-candidate would be that of the police and also an alert opposition. Thus far, no such adverse report has been made by the police or even BN against Dr Wan Azizah - BN's generalised opposition against her or some PAS members' objection to a woman being MB have been either opposition or shameful misogynistic prejudices and thus cannot be considered objective and substantial evidence.

The problem is that of the Malaysian Constitution which makes our rulers, alas, only constitutional monarchs, and also our Westminster-style democracy and parliamentary system.

One blunt bludgeoning bulldozing solution would be to dismantle or rewrite the Constitution which after all had already been amended zillions of time in the last 30 years or so, especially from 1981 to 2003, wakakaka, and to then make our rulers absolute monarchs.

But what will happen then to federalism and the post of HM the Agong? And what will happen to the federal cabinet and UMNO, wakakaka? 

Another would be to throw away the Westminster parliamentary system (or what's left of it, as RSN Rayer would say, wakakaka) and adopt, for example, the Soekarno-Suharto era system of 'kebijaksaan bapak president (atau panglima tertentu)', wakakaka.

third solution would be considered seditious though it may appeal to those who admire the ayatollahs. And mark my word, it will then be actually the Chinese (most of them anyway, and not General Zulkifeli Mohd Zin's extracurricular pomposity) who will defend the Malaysian (not just Malay) rulers against Middle-Eastern Islamic republicanism.

Daulat Tuanku - Wú huáng wànsuì, wànsuì, wànwànsuì 吾皇萬歲,萬歲,萬萬歲.

Do you have any proposed solutions to what I see as an impasse in the approval of a new MB for Selangor?

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Sedition! For what purpose?

While we continue to wait as Rome burns, and Pak Haji Hadi Awang goes about his wayward way to "protect Malays", we see a number of sedition cases being actioned by the Police, presumably on the instructions of our remarkable AG.

But surely the case that takes the cake must be the one confronting Penang ADUN, RSN Rayer (Seri Delima).

Rayer had uttered the words "celaka UMNO" (damn UMNO) inside the State Assembly on 20 May this year.

Firstly, when was it that the words "celaka UMNO" or "celaka DAP" or "celaka whoever" (other than the Sultans) could be considered seditious?

Maybe the answer lies in my penultimate paragraph, wakakaka.

Secondly, Rayer said those words inside the State Assembly, meaning he had enjoyed parliamentary privilege. The only person who could tell him off or punish him would be the House Speaker. A similar case occurred in the federal Parliament in March 2009 when Gobind Singh Deo called the PM a murderer.

Today News reported on the Gobind Singh Deo case:

Gobind wanted Najib to respond to opposition accusations that he had a hand in the killing of a young Mongolian woman in 2006. Gobind shouted "Answer me, you murderer" before Parliament's speaker ordered him to leave the hall.

A Cabinet minister made a formal proposal Monday to suspend Gobind without pay for a year, saying he was in contempt of Parliament and that he had committed a breach of his rights as a legislator.

Government lawmakers approved the proposal through a unanimous vote after opposition legislators staged a temporary walkout to protest the move.

Personally I thought it was intemperate of Gobind to use such words and the action taken was appropriate though unduly harsh (one year suspension including and particularly depriving him of pay).

And even if the words "celaka UMNO" could be preposterously considered as seditious (and what f**king nonsense would that be!), the Speaker should be the only one to discipline Rayer.

To charge Rayer for saying something inside the State Assembly will be in contempt of the state parliament. I'm not sure whether it's a jailable punishment for contempt against parliament, but it should be as it's attacking the sovereignty and power of the people.

Okay Police, go charge the AG and yourself for sedition (contempt against the Penang State Assembly) wakakaka.

But I ask myself WTF is going on for Pakatan MPs (Khalid Samad, Nizar Jamaluddin, possibly Rafizi Ramli) and ADUN (Rayer, anyone else?) to be charged for sedition on flimsy grounds?

Compare their supposed seditions with those of Dr Affifuddin Omar, a former UMNO MP for Padang Terap.

This bloke's fame or notoriety was achieved on 10 December 1992, when in parliament he walloped the rulers as follows:

"How can we continue to uphold rulers who are known to be robbers, adulterers, drunkards and kaki pukul(thugs)?" [...]

"They (the rulers) must be made to realize that they do not own this country. They are not Superman but placed on their thrones by the people."

"The real power did not lie with them, but with us - the representatives of the people."

Aiyoyo, rulers who are known to be robbers, adulterers, drunkards and kaki pukul (thugs)?

So, do you think his daring do was approved by UMNO leaders at that time, wakakaka. Incidentally he is a Kedahan, wakakaka.

Oh yes, the UMNO No 1 at that time was Dr Mahathir and his No 2 was Ghafar Baba. Phew, I suppose some of you might have been thinking: aiyoyo, this bloody kaytee wants to wallop His Reformasi Excellency again.

No no, His Brahmic Excellency was only No 3, the Finance Minister, though he would become the No 2 (and thus DPM) the following year after he defeated and humiliated an aging Ghafar Baba, one of the original UMNO members, who would have retired in a mere 6 months time.

But on 2nd thoughts, wakakaka, Professor Bari had said that there should be collective cabinet (and presumably top UMNO echelon) responsibility on issues, including the walloping of the rulers behind parliamentary privileges, wakakaka.

But I'm sure Manmanlai must be lily-white innocent, as he had always been in his 16 years as various ministers in Dr Mahathir's government, wakakaka. Sorry anwaristas, couldn't help slipping this in, wakakaka.

Anyway, I wonder whether we ought to admire Dr Affifuddin Omar because he dared play with fire and yet, somehow got away with that, unlike Rayer with just a mere "celaka UMNO", wakakaka.

Then there was also Wan Hanafiah Wan Mat Saman, once the UMNO MP for Pokok Sena, though he lost his parliamentary seat to PAS' Mahfuz Omar in 1999? wakakaka.

In 1992 he said in a speech in Parliament that he preferred the Malay Rulers be treated the way the Indian Maharajas were treated, stating:

"After the struggle for India's independence in 1947, Deputy Prime Minister Sardar V Patel was given the task of negotiating with the Rulers to phase out them.:

"Patel rounded up the Maharajas and put them in a hotel. On the first day of discussion, he could not get them to agree to the Government's proposal.”

"On the second day, he placed soldiers around the perimeter of the hotel. On the third day, he cut the electricity supply; on the fourth day, he stopped the water supply and on the fifth day, he stopped food from being brought in. On the sixth day, all the Rulers, who were confined to the building, agreed to the government proposals.”

"When Patel was asked why he did not obtain the consent of the Rulers in a normal fashion, Patel replied, 'Do you ask the consent of the chicken before it is slaughtered?'"

Continuing his speech, Wan Hanafiah said that "a similar approach could have been taken to solve the present problem with the Rulers."

[above quoted from a post at Dewan Pemuda PAS Serdang blog]

Wow, slaughtering our rulers like chooks a la the Maharajahs? wakakaka. And poor Rayer, with the same parliamentary privileges, will be charged tomorrow (Wednesday) for saying inside the state assembly the words "celaka UMNO" [and who the f**k is UMNO compared to the Rulers?].

Are these gross persecutions (and prosecutions) against Pakatan politicians nothing more than a Najib-Zahid grand-staging to show the Heartland that even without the ISA, the Najib government is still firmly in control, and that Dr Mahathir has been unduly and unnecessarily worried and stirring shit for no purpose, and thus to be ignored for crying out "the sky is falling down, the sky is falling down!"? Wakakaka. 

As George Bernard Shaw said: Blasphemy and sedition

(meaning the truth about Church and State), wakakaka.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Black Monday?

The term 'black Monday' was used by schoolboys to refer to the first day back to school, usually a Monday. after the holidays.

And throughout history in the Western World, that term referred to a number of unpleasant events happening on a Monday, including an ethnic massacre in Ireland in 1209, global share markets collapsing in October 1987 and, in May 1954 in the USA, the Supreme Court's ruling against the southern states' busing and school segregation in which no doubt the word 'black' also carried a racial connotation, thus a 'Black Monday' only in the eyes of the whites.

Tomorrow is Monday, so will 25 August 2014 be a Black Monday for some* Selangoreans?

* while some others will be delighted, wakakaka

HRH the Sultan of Selangor has granted Khalid Ibrahim an audience on Monday. If, as feared, that HRH will accept the suspected advice of Khalid to dissolve the state assembly, Selangoreans will have a new RM50 million state elections within weeks.

But are we preempting the issue, by (a) suspecting that Khalid will so recommend to HRH, and (b) that HRH will even accept Khalid's advice?

The former suspicion, namely (a), has already been mulled over several times in the news media, though quite a few constitutional experts asserted that since Pakatan commands 43 out of 56 ADUNs in the Selangor state assembly, there is no ground for HRH to approve that suspected advice ...

... but of course, as Dr Aziz Bari also said (as reported by Malaysiakini) ... Nothing can be done if the Sultan of Selangor decides to dissolve the state assembly next week as he has the power to do so, ... though it will not be in accordance with Westminster tradition.

Highly respected sweetie Ambiga Sreenevasan, former Boss of Bersih 3.0, who had supported the dissolution of the Perak (not Selangor) state assembly in its 2008 constitutional crisis, gave her reasons for having a different take this time on the current Selangor 'wounded MB tiger' crisis, saying (non-italicized comment in parentheses are kaytee's extrapolation of Ambiga's statements):

A: Can you please stay out, You've caused enough trouble
A: How can lah when I'm the centre of the Boleh universe

“In Perak, the people voted for a Pakatan (Rakyat) government and the next day they got a Barisan (Nasional) government" (hence the DUN should have been dissolved to ascertain who has the people's mandate)

“In Selangor it is different. There is no change as Pakatan still holds the majority. This is why I supported the dissolution then (in Perak)” (but NOT now in Selangor).

But wait, there are two different issues in the current lamentable Selangor stalemate, brought about by Khalid Ibrahim, a partyless ADUN insisting on clinging on desperately to his MB position, a position he enjoys ONLY by virtue of him being previously nominated by a Pakatan state government, for an ADUN (Khalid) voted in by the people of Port Kelang ONLY by virtue of him being a PKR (Pakatan) candidate*.

* To be fair to him, the proof of the pudding in the voters support for him will be only known when he stands again in Port Kelang either as an Independent or under the banner of a non-Pakatan party. I hope he does that, if he dares, wakakaka.

The two different issues in Selangor politics are (a) the removal of Khalid Ibrahim as MB as he no longer enjoys the confidence of the majority in the state assembly - this became very clear when PAS finally decided to stop supporting Khalid, and (b) the candidature of Dr Wan Azizah as the new MB of Selangor.

Cukup minyakkah untuk perjalanan yg diingini?

It is the latter, to wit, Dr Wan as the new MB, that may give cause to HRH to dissolve the state assembly.

Yes, ye good olde misogynistic PAS is once again the maverick in Pakatan as it still withholds written support for Dr Wan. PAS has specifically prohibited its 13 ADUNs (minus Saari Sungib and Hasnul Baharuddin) to sign any Statutory Declaration supporting Dr Wan as the Pakatan MB.

A couple of days back, Saari Sungib (Hulu Kelang), one of the two PAS ADUN to first daringly break ranks with their party in their non-support for Khalid even at the risk of being expelled from their party, said "I'm anti-Khalid, not pro-Azizah", and that his signing a Stat Dec supporting Dr Wan had more to do with de-legitimizing Khalid Ibrahim's claim of enjoying majority confidence than to directly support Dr Wan as the PKR candidate to be MB.

PAS had earlier claimed that their insistence on forwarding Azmin Ali's name as an alternative choice for MB was from HRH's intimation (usual but lamentable 'name-dropping' by an Islamic Party - sheesh), but which now has collapsed like a house of cards into a mere 'misunderstanding'.

wonder what's the equivalent of 'other' religions?

Nonetheless, these are undeniably very overt PAS non-support of Dr Wan, which could have been out of its misogyny or Pak Haji Hadi's anti-Anwarism, or both. Mind, I personally don't support Dr Wan's candidature as well, but for different and very secular reasons, wakakaka.

In its belakang pusing from a Pakatan consensus, though only on the issue of Stat Dec evidence of support for Dr Wan (but effective non support for her), it can provide enough grounds for HRH to dissolve the state assembly - the 'grounds' being that in kaytee's visualized words: okay-lah Khalid is out but Dr Wan cannot be in because she lacks majority support, and you mongrels (again kaytee's Ozzi-nized word, not HRH's, wakakaka) can go back to the voters to give you a fresh mandate.

HRH doesn't look happy

If that happens, as Dr Bari said, there's f**k all Pakatan can do, all thanks to PAS.

But will submitting Azmin Ali's name as an alternative choice for MB avoid the dissolution of the DUN?

Dr Bari does not support that, stating (as reported by TMI) Submitting two names for Selangor MB post allows palace interference:

"PAS has also made it clear that it will not nominate a candidate for the menteri besar position, so why has Azmin's name entered the mix? In my opinion, the Sultan of Selangor has[will then have] a reason to interfere in the state's politics because PAS has opened the door for him."

* re parenthesised text above, kaytee has taken the liberty of editing-clarifying what the TMI journalist meant

"All the Sultan of Selangor needs to do is to hand over the appointment letter. It is as simple as that. With the appointment letter, the state government will be able to resume its duties and carry out its responsibilities normally."

I agree. Back in 2008 in Perak, immediately after Pakatan won majority control of the state assembly, and the nomination of a Pakatan state MB was being deliberated, I chastised Lim Kit Siang for surrendering to the then-Regent a list of three names, instead of only one.

On 15 March 2008, I posted Lim Kit Siang opened Royal Pandora Box? in which I had written (extracts):

Alas, the parties have finally acquiesced to royal demands, with many of them forgetting that in a political democracy it's the political party which commands the majority in the State Assembly (outright or through a coalition, formal or otherwise) who picks the CM or MB, or at the federal level, the PM, to be approved by the constitutional ruler, only as a formal procedural step. [...]

Yes, the ruler cannot reject the candidate forwarded for his approval, save where, as mentioned above, there is perceivable concerns the candidate has a dodgy record or perhaps is infirmed, etc which may affect the proposed candidate’s ability to head the State government.

I then discussed both the Perlis' and Terengganu's fiascos in its respective MB-nomination. I concluded that post by blaming Lim Kit Siang (wakakaka), though being a nice bloke, wakakaka, I did attempt to explain why he did so:

Much as I respect, admire and have supported Lim Kit Siang, I believe he has been the one who opened the royal Pandora box when he abdicated the political rights of the DAP-PKR-PAS in deciding who should be the MB for Perak to the Sultan of Perak (as represented by his son the Regent).

Uncle Lim was of course attempting to minimise adverse DAP grassroot reactions to his party agreeing to a PAS MB when the DAP has the most number of seats in the coalition. So, he staged a public sandiwara (theatrics) of being against a PAS man becoming the MB of a State while pushing the decision making to the ruler.

He must have thought it would be brilliant tactics to abdicate the (publicly) difficult decision of accepting a PAS man as MB of Perak to the Perak royalty, but he didn't realize it would be bad strategy to surrender political rights to a constitutional monarchy, who through such small gains will shift gradually from a constitutional status to an increasing absolute authority.

The sadder irony of it all, and the most gross injustice to Uncle Lim, is he has been portrayed as a racist by some anti-DAP bloggers (and I am not just talking about the BN) as well as some Malaysiakini journalists and columnists, even though the issue has never been about race but rather, the PAS avowed political intention to make Malaysia into an Islamic State governed by Islamic syariah laws.

But as for most things in Malaysia, why let facts stand in the way of a good emotional (and sinisterly contrived) bashing of the DAP, specifically at the very figure of Lim Kit Siang!

But this time, should HRH dissolve the Selangor state assembly, we can't blame Lim Kit Siang again, but rather PAS. Amin!

Boss, why you no like me?

Aisehman, you could have been my Boss but
you chose to join the dark side of the Force!


And TMI has today reported As Selangor MB impasse continues, PKR prepares for snap polls which will marvellously give the Pakatan so-called partners another chance to stab each other in the back again as they jostle for seats a la Kota Damansara and Sungei Aceh, wakakaka.

Oh, here's a possible sting at the end of my post as per the tail of a scorpion!

What if HRH says (as per kaytee's crazy imagination): since there is no majority support for Dr Wan I have decided that Khalid Ibrahim will continue on as the MB until the end of his elected term as I assess he will do a good job for my state. He may select his 10 exco members only from Pakatan.

Now, wouldn't that be a truly Black Monday for Pakatan? Wakakaka.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Letter to Tun Dr Mahathir Mohammad

Salam Tun yang sangat dikasihi,

How are you and Toh Puan? And how is business at your bakery?

Okay, with the salutations and pleasantries over, please allow me to engage Tun in something I have long been yearning to propose to you, wakakaka.

Oh, by the way, please excuse kaytee's mild version of melatah-ing - call it Latah Lite if you wish, wakakaka again - sorry, you know how it is for people who melatah ;-).

I'm sure you will agree with me that we Malaysians* like to refer to important events by their dates in a 3-digit format, as I have written in my other blog KTemoc Kongsamkok several years ago in a post titled Secret Society of Handsome Chinese Cryptographers.

* yes, I know I know, you mentioned a couple of days ago that there will never be a true Malaysian. By the way Tun, have you read my post Should Chinese Malaysians adopt indigenous surnames?

Oh, and sorry about the title of the post Secret Society of Handsome Chinese Cryptographers especially the 'handsome' part as I know how much it irritates you to hear about Chinese implied indirectly and also incorrectly as being better looking than Malays. In fact, I have often heard from Chinese female friends how handsome, or in modern language what a hot looking stud, you are.

And though I know you don't like (probably detest) Khairy Jamaluddin, he too has been described as another fine specimen of Malay manhood, in Chinese parlance, a leng chai.

But no doubt the word 'society of Chinese whatever' might have alarmed you, especially as I recall my uncle (one of your admirers) telling me that you once explained the necessity of Ops Lalang as (words to the effect) 'Chinese history has shown that it bodes no good when Chinese parties gather together at a temple to protest against the government'.

Needless to say, I was and still am amazed by your knowledge of Chinese history regarding the razing of Shaolin temple by the Manchus.

Yes, we all recall that on 11 October 1987, MCA, Gerakan, SUPP, DAP and other Chinese-based parties congregated together with Dong Jiao Zong at the Shaolin (sorry, wakakaka) Hainanese Association Building, beside the Thean Hou Temple in Kuala Lumpur, to protest against what they saw as the nasty policy of then-Education Minister Anwar Ibrahim.

It was a remarkable first and undoubtedly last for Chinese Malaysian Unity, wakakaka. Your Ops Lalang was certainly worthy of the brilliant Manchu attack on Shaolin Temple, and to your further credit you did it without burning any holy site.

But let us move on from Ops Lalang since both you and your once-beloved-protege, wakakaka, had already accepted responsibilities for your respective parts in the whole sorry affair.

Now, what do I mean by Malaysians like to refer to important events by their dates in a 3-digit format

Virtually every adult in Malaysia knows or has heard of 513, the tragic day on 13 May 1969 when racial riots broke out in Selangor after the May 1969 general elections which saw Perikatan (headed by UMNO) lost its two-thirds majority in Parliament and also its hold on Selangor threatened.

Yes Tun, 513, a sad day for our nation but even sadder, still very much nourished, embellished and frequently referred to by, alas, your political party!

I don't propose to revisit that sad event as we have gone through it more often than any other Malaysian event, including even a fabricated fictionalized version in the film Tanda Putera, which was reviewed by the Malay Mail Online as a film that takes liberty with truth.

Then we have the infamous 916, wakakaka, which mention I am sure will warm the cockles of your heart - no no Tun, there is really no need to thank me.

But that many had even believed in the democratic correctness of 916 has been a sad reflection on the standard of mathematics taught in our Malaysian schools, where those people somehow reckoned that 82 > 140 (that is, 82 is greater than 140), wakakaka.

The American term for those incomprehensible believers and supporters of 916 is, I believe, 'mathematically challenged', a description which may also be applied today to someone in Selangor who in his own mind may contrive conclude that a coalition which holds 43 seats in a 56 seat state assembly would present for the state an unstable political deadlock which merits the dissolution of the DUN with fresh elections necessary.

But let us leave discussions of that issue for the future and move on to what I wish to propose to you.

It is about 929 and 617.

Didn't I mention that we Malaysians love such 3-digit codes - again yes, I know I know, you mentioned a couple of days ago that there will never be a true Malaysian, but grant me a wee leeway in my, this post please, wakakaka.

As you mentioned on 14 February this year (2014) when you bravely accepted responsibility for Ops Lalang:

"Well, if I made a mistake, I made a mistake. I am an old man. I am 89 years old, so I am prone to forgetting."

"Even if the decision was made by someone else, it was in the Cabinet. I accept responsibility. We did what was needed to ensure peace and stability in Malaysia."

... yes, you are indeed already a most respected 89 years old so I hope you won't be annoyed if I respectfully remind you what 929 and 617 had been.

On 29 September 2001 (thus 929) you declared that 'Malaysia is an Islamic state' at the Gerakan national assembly.

Then you were supported most ardently by both MCA and Gerakan leaders, who ironically (or with the advantage of hindsight, hypocritically) have been currently attacking/accusing the DAP for working 'hand-in-glove’ with PAS to establish an Islamic State, and who wakakaka asserted publicly that Malaysia was a secular and not an Islamic State.

But immediately after your 929 Declaration, your Chinese partners in BN, namely MCA and Gerakan leaders, gave their full and unequivocal support that compelled a blistering post by Lim Kit Siang against MCA and Gerakan volte-face, as follows (extract only):

"Malaysia had always been an Islamic state from day one of our nationhood 44 years ago as if the founding fathers and early leaders of MCA like Tun Tan Cheng Lock, Tun Tan Siew Sin, Tun S.H. Lee, Too Joon Hing or even the early UMNO leaders like Onn Jaffar, Tunku Abdul Rahman, Tun Razak and Tun Hussein Onn would have agreed to multi-racial and multi-religious Malaysia becoming an Islamic State".

Lim Kit Siang also reminded us, no doubt totally flabbergasted by the MCA-Gerakan cari makan belakang pusing (wakakaka), that "For eight month after September 29 last year (2001), MCA and Gerakan leaders were trumpeting that Malaysia is a moderate Islamic state", wakakaka, somehow showing they had been either devout Islamists or devout tok ampu's, wakakaka.

Then less than a year later, on 17 June 2002, you declared that Malaysia was not just an Islamic State but, with words to the effect (with a wee dram of my blogger's licence, wakakaka), to hell with the term moderate Islamic state (which of course pulled the rug from beneath MCA and Gerakan's feet), that Malaysia was a fundamentalist Islamic State.

This declaration came to be known as 617, a declaration that your MCA and Gerakan tok ampu's were the first to endorse, despite your declaration moving Malaysia from being a moderate Islamic State to a fundamentalist version. Alamak and aiyoyo Tun, what motivation could be greater than the tok ampu's cari makan belakang pusing-an, wakakaka.

I would like, with Tun's indulgence, to quote from Lim Kit Siang's post in which he wrote:

Bapa Malaysia and the nation’s first Prime Minister, Tunku Abdul Rahman confirmed this and declared in the Legislative Council in 1958:

“I would like to make it clear that this country is not an Islamic State as it is generally understood; we merely provide that Islam shall be the official religion of the State.”

The position of the constitutional cornerstone that Malaysia is a secular and not a Islamic state was further reinforced in the negotiations for the formation of Malaysia in 1963, as Sabahans and Sarawakians were assured that Article 3 of the Constitution "does not imply that Malaysia is not a secular state." (Cobbold Commission Report).

The fundamental constitutional principle that Malaysia is a secular nation has been upheld by the highest court in the land in Che Omar bin Che Soh vs Public Prosecutor (1988).

Delivering the judgment of a five-man Federal Court panel, the then Lord President Tun Salleh Abas held that the Constitution and the legal system are “secular” and held that the meaning of the expression “Islam” or “Islamic religion” in Article 3 “means only such acts as relate to rituals and ceremonies”.

He said that “There can be no doubt that Islam is not just a mere collection of dogmas and rituals but it is a complete way of life covering all fields of human activities, may they be private or public, legal, political, economic, social, cultural, moral or judicial” but rejected the contention that the terms “Islam” or “Islamic religion” in Article 3 is “an all-embracing concept, as is normally understood, which consists not only the ritualistic aspect but also a comprehensive system of life, including its jurisprudence and moral standard” as this was not the meaning intended by the framers of the Constitution.

Salleh Abas’ judgment that Malaysia was a secular nation was in keeping with the interpretation of his predecessor, the late Tun Mohamed Suffian Hashim who in 1962 defined the scope of Islam in the constitution as being primarily for ceremonial purposes, such as the permission for prayers to be offered in the Islamic way on official public occasions such as the installation of the Yang di Pertuan Agong, his birthday, Merdeka Day and other occasions.

Of course we knew why you proclaimed your fundamentalist Islamic state in the 929 and 617 Declarations, though then, you weren't able to see the Pandora Box you had opened with those declarations, especially for your own UMNO ulama.

But look Tun, you have already won your battle with PAS and done your part even commendably unto accepting responsibilities for Ops Lalang. Why not take it from there and make another declaration, namely that you were mistaken about your politico-medical (wakakaka) 'interpretations' of our Constitution, and that we should adhere to the legal judgements on Malaysia as a secular state, as provided in the above-mentioned Cobbold Report and the rulings of Tun Mohamed Suffian Hashim and Tun Salleh Abas.

Pass on the baton of arguing over the Islamic State issue to your current and erstwhile proteges, wakakaka, and let them fight it out. At least it may possibly provide some amusement for you.

Incidentally, do you know that Tunku Abdul Aziz, a patrician I was formerly rather fond of (and still am to a certain extent despite his grievances with DAP) has also asserted our nation to be a secular state while he was lashing out at the Islamic Party's abandonment of Khalid Ibrahim. In an angry and disgusted rail against PAS he said:

Let me remind my co-religionists and all Malaysians that what they are seeing is not the teachings of the Quran: It is the work of people who have long abused their religion to promote their political ambitions and are prepared to traffic with any party of whatever political bent.I have never made a secret of my abhorrence and distaste for their brand of politics, with its evil concoction of pseudo-religious orthodoxy grounded in undisguised worldly opportunism. Surely, it can have no place in secular Malaysia.

Note my underlining and bolding of the relevant sentence above.

Continuing with Tunku Aziz's statement:

When I saw on television Mohamad Sabu reading the unholy announcement abandoning Khalid to the jackals, it dawned on me that perhaps this was God’s mysterious intervention to expose the truth about the party and its leaders. If this latest act of duplicity does not teach us anything about Pas’ politics of adventurism, then we will be putting the future of our nation at considerable risk.

Coincidentally, Raja Petra Kamaruddin had in his Malaysia-Today just written a rather amusing (or if you like,sarcastic) article about things happening being always acts of Allah swt, as in his post BLAME ALLAH FOR THE SELANGOR MB CRISIS in which he commented wryly on Dr Dzulkefly Ahmad's claim that 'Allah made the two PAS state assemblymen defy their own party by joining the 28 DAP and PKR representatives in pledging support for Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail because Allah wanted to save Selangor'.

Much as Tunku Aziz might have shown his disgust at PAS, he is undoubtedly a co-believer like Dr Dzulkefly in the all-powerful but mysterious interventions of Allah swt, a belief very much shared as well by devout Christians who would explain away, for example, the tragic disastrous aftermath of the Boxing Day Tsunami in which nearly half a million innocent God-fearing Indonesians and quite a few Thais, Westerners and Indians perished, as one of God's mysterious ways. Amen.

Continuing with Tunku Aziz's statement:

For the sake of a united Malaysia, we cannot allow a religion-based political party that is causing unnecessary fear and apprehension among Malaysians to preach its sermon of hate and darkness. The party has to decide what it wants to be, a political organisation or a Muslim missionary society because it cannot be both.

It now operates under false pretences, and with its shrill campaign for a Muslim state, it is splitting the nation down the middle, a situation to be avoided at all costs as we strive to find our true destiny and identity as a nation.

We must not let Pas or anyone frustrate that national goal. Let all men and women of goodwill beware.

Well Tun, there you have it. Instead of blasting or tormenting poor Ah Jib Gor (does his Chinese nick, wakakaka, bother you?), why don't you stun Malaysia and the World again by declaring that your 929 and 617 Declarations were not legal but political constructs, designed to outflank PAS as advocated today by your fellow Kedahan, YM Tunku Abdul Aziz.

Yes, please do so and watch the fun begin as undoubtedly Najib and Anwar will amuse and entertain us as they tap-dance around the hot potato which you have baked for them, wakakaka.

I am,
Your obedient servant,

Kaytee Moc

P/S: Tun do you by any chance gift people with discount vouchers for purchase at The Loaf? Hint hint. Terimakasih Tun in anticipation.