Wednesday, October 18, 2006

From fraudulent JP to genuine Datukship

We all know that the State of Malacca has been notorious for its awarding of Datukship, printing them up like Chinese ghost money. I wonder how much each cost.

If I were appointed as its sales rep for state awards, I would price them as a Datuk at around $250,000 – sorry lah, no royalty in state so only at that miserable quarter mil ringgit. But a Datuk Seri – if the State doesn’t have a Datuk Seri, I would propose it invents one - would top the Datuk award by another $150,000, because the title is longer by 4 letters and a space in-between.

If I get fairly imaginative I would recommend higher awards like Datuk Taming Sari (hey, afterall, Hang Tuah was resident in Malacca) and Datuk Vijaya Parameswara (nope, change that to) Datuk Vijaya Mesra Wira – this way, it sounds more Malaysian.

Lots of businessmen like a title before their name, especially those who don’t have a few letters after theirs.

Well, last year there was one bloke who thought he would be clever and add a JP (Justice of the Peace) after his moniker – wow, he suddenly became a reputable member of the community.

But spoilsport Goh Leong San of the DAP party and MP for Bandar Hilir reported the pseudo-JP to the police for fraudulent use of the title.

Never put a ‘good’ bloke down because this year, that very same person is one of the recipients of a Malacca state award that carries the title Datuk.

Goh said:
“He was not a JP recipient. Why is this person, who was a bogus JP, receiving a datukship?”

Goh told the state assembly about making a police report against the person last year yet seeing that bloke's name on the honours roll this year. The man had been listed for the award of the Darjah Mulia Seri Melaka (DMSM) award, namely a Datuk.

Moral of the tale – always persevere lah. Malacca Boleh!

Chief Minister Mohd Ali Rustam who, by the way is a Datuk Seri himself, said the state government had sent the honours list to the police headquarters in Bukit Aman for vetting prior to publishing the list. He said he would refer the matter to the police again.

Goh also revealed that he had lodged five police reports against six other persons for allegedly using the titles ‘datuk’, ‘JP’ and ‘PJK’ (Pingat Jasa Kebaktian).

Spoilsport, But someone falsely using a PJK? What a bloody cheapskate! If that bloke had to cheat, tolong lah, go all the way for a datukship, man! Really pariah mentality – tidak jaga standard lah!


  1. How about Datuk Empat Ekor or Datuk Mat Rempit? By the way the titles are rank as follows
    1. Tun Sri - No award yet
    2. Tun - about 30
    3. Tan Sri - about 500
    4. Tan - about 50,000
    5. Datuk Seri - about 10,000
    6. Datuk - about 100,000

    Those Tan's must be very lucky to ne rank fourth higher than the datuks. Hi Hi.

  2. Eh,
    I thought PJK stands for 'Perut Jangan Keluar' hence most are unqualified until they shrink their waist lines.
    Perut jangan keluar,
    Nanti tak nampak kot*h... lolx