Tuesday, June 06, 2006

One Born Every Minute (3)

The Star Online reported that an 18-year-old girl slept with a bogus medium so that he could "transfer powers” that could cure her boyfriend of his sexual problems.

The girl sought the help of the medium after her 20-year-old lover developed erectile dysfunction. The medium convinced the victim that the only way to cure her boyfriend was by "transferring his powers” to her through sex.

OK, at this stage, what do you reckon she did?

As I have said, there’s one born every minute. Yes, she agreed to the medium’s recommendation to “transfer power” to her, which was not done just once but several times too. Meanwhile, boyfriend still couldn’t 'rise to the occasion' so the girl began to suspect that the “transference of power” was dodgy.

She ‘fess up to boyfriend that there was a transmission failure even though the “divine connection” was made.

We get the story from the usual source, the police, after the couple reported the matter. It’s the edited version of course. I imagine the uncensored version would be like the following, assuming they were Chinese:

Girl (embarrassed): Ee beh … eh … beh … (he can’t … eh … can’t)
Medium: beh hna mee (What’s he selling?)

The Hokkien word ‘beh’ can mean either ‘cannot’ or ‘sell’.

Girl (shyly): beh choe wah (can’t do it to me)
Medium: beh chwah? (sell paper?)

‘Choe wah’ (do it to me) pronounced wrongly with the wrong accent can sound like ‘chwah’ (paper)

Girl (exasperated): ee beh gnair lah – ee ae lan t’ooi beh gnair kee lai

(no translation required, and if you can’t understand, tough, you’ve miss the best part)

Medium (the penny dropped): ah, parng sim, wa ae thean t’ooi ae parng chor (oh, dinna ye fret, my heavenly wand can help)

Girl: lu ae thean t’ooi?
Medium: wah ae thean t’ooi see kau-teh-thean haw ae, chai boh? che t'ooi kau lart, ee ae lart parng kuai hor lu, lu pun ae khnee tnee ... eh ... hor lu ae tar-poh-peng-eu ae khnee tnee teng peng arn

I am not going to translate this last part - so now’s the time (and motivation) to get to know a Penangite, preferably a female one, to assist with the translation ;-)

(1) One Born Every Minute
(2) One Born Every Minute (2)


  1. hey, put the translation!!! i dont understand laaa!! plzzzz... pretty plzzz... LOL

  2. see medium for ED? wonder why... viagra and tongkat ali didnt work?

  3. 21 yo with ED..? I will be damn! Better I be the medium.

    Sigh. How can people be so stupid.

  4. I hope some kind hearted, intrepid and daring Penang lassie would come translate for Abe what I wrote ;-)

    Yeah, makes one wonder why at 21 he had ED. As for viagra and tongkat ali, some people haven't even heard of those.

    Well, there's one born every minute.

  5. Ha ha... looks like I have to solicit my wife's help in the translation (she's Hokkien lang from Penang, btw).

    ED at 21? More like Performance Stress Disorder... or imebriation. Or both.


  6. rofl,
    Funniest thing I have read all day, thanks.
    dog training

  7. walski69 - we ARE related then, if your wife is a Penang lang

  8. The boyfriend may be gay. The female body is not arousing to him. So even if he were a fit young man, he won't be able to rise to the occasion, just like how a heterosexual guy may be unable to get an erection even if he is paired with the most good-looking guy in town. The interest is just not there.