|Prof Madya Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj|
Technically, a misyar marriage is one in which a woman waives or suspends one or more rights to which she would have been entitled in view of the particular circumstances of her potential husband. It is not just a green ticket to bonk (sorry, my choice of word, wakakaka) to one's satisfaction without any family responsibility. She asserted that all the other rules, principles, and obligations of marriage remain as obligations.
She provided an example where a financially independent woman may choose to forego the provision of a house, food and drink, or clothes from her husband which he is normally obligated to furnish.
She averred that’s such a situation is not unusual as it happens in many marriages from time to time whereby a wife sometimes uses her own money for basic necessities in order to free her husband’s resources for use on other expenses.
She was commenting on the widespread rejection of the proposal of Universiti Malaya's Prof Dr Mahmud Zuhdi Abdul Majid, who recommended more misyar marriages. The Prof has said that the difference between misyar and a polygamous marriage was that the husband did not have to provide money or clothing for his other wife but would only be there to satisfy her sexual needs.
He recommended misyar marriage to overcome the rising number of unmarried divorcees and women. In fact Utusan Malaysia had quoted him saying that misyar marriages could also reduce the incidence of vice among Muslim women. Hmmm, 'upstanding' crime fighters!
Subsequently, Prof Zuhdi asserted that he had never called for men to be absolved of their responsibilities, but merely that the women who are financially stronger than their husbands can waive the right to certain provisions pertaining to her own needs.
He expressed his belief that hubby must still provide companionship and family leadership while fulfilling his other responsibilities such as to his children.
In the aftermath of Prof Zuhdi’s proposal, a concerned Dr Syed Ali Tawfik Al-Attas, director-general of the Malaysian Institute of Islamic Understanding, wanted people to stop f**king around (sorry, kaytee's choice of word, wakakaka) with the sacred institution of marriages. He was disturbed by the debates, which largely touched on the issues of sex and lust.
|Dr Syed Ali Tawfik Al-Attas|
And indeed it had been – and for those people coming out after the authoritative slap down by the good doctor to provide clarifications is just too little too late! Why propose something that was quoted by Utusan Malaysia as a solution to reduce the incidence of vice among Muslim women, if it was not about SEX!
Dr Syed Ali Tawfik Al-Attas said: “We have to ask if the problem relates to Muslim women finding it hard to get married or the women choosing to be single? Then only can we start looking for solutions.”
“We have many unresolved issues affecting Muslims that we need to take care of, such as increasing divorce rates, truancy in schools and universities and girls excelling over boys in their studies.”