This is a real life exam answer of a grade 5 primary school pupil's 2nd term exam.
Write an essay on the following: "What is a crocodile?" Use block letters and write legibly.
Name: [removed by KTemoc]
The crokodile is a specially built so long because the flatter the better swimmer. At the front of the crokodile is the head. The head exists almost only of teeth. Behind the crokodile the tail grows. Between the head and the tail is the crokodile.
A crokodile without a tail is called a rotweiler.
A crokodiles body is covered with handbag material. He can throw his tail off if he gets a fright but it doesn't happen much because a crokodile is scared of nothing.
A crokodile stays under the water because if you were so ugly, you would also stay under the water. It is good that a crokodile stays under the water because a person gets such a big fright if a crocodile catches you that he first has to rinse you off before he can eat you.
[the pupil was very polite - hope you readers know why the croc has to rinse the person before eating him?]
A crokodile isn't hardly as dangerous as people say he is, except if he catches you. The longer he bites you, the more it hurts.
Very old crokodiles only suck people and buck that they catch dead.If you eat him, he is a crokosatie.
[hope you got that? 'Satay', get it?]
A crokodile did not learn to swim with his arms so he uses his tail. The little brother of a crocodile is a lizard. The slow sister of the crokodile is a chamelon. The gay brother of the crokodile is a dafodil. And the crokodil also has a dead brother the frikadel.
[there you are - all nicely & neatly defined. Surely an 'A+'?]
From an email currently circulating.