Thursday, June 12, 2008

Jurors, judges and jacking off

Back to Judge Ian Chin and his tsunamic revelation. Phua Kai Lit, a visitor to my blog, left a comment on my post Sarawak judge attacked Dr M, suggesting:

"I think there is more than meets the eye here. Perhaps the poor judges are being used as a weapon against the former PM (who is currently heavily criticising the current PM)? Another example of Machiavellian politics at work!"

"Nevertheless, the more disclosures by both camps (by the former PM in his blog and by the present PM through the mainstream media and other mouth pieces), the better for the citizens of Malaysia."

What do you think? But I sure know what Param Cumaraswamy did, as reported in Malaysiakini
Param: Shame on those 'leapfrog' judges – also see my Summary of some headlines.

Anyway, Malaysiakini reported in Judicial boot camp: 'Both PM, Zaid wrong' that opposition leader Lim Kit Siang (Hellooooo, I thought that should be Wan Azizah?) has been pissed off by both AAB’s and Zaid’s refusals to convene a Royal Commission to probe into the allegations by High Court judge Ian Chin. Both claimed that judicial reforms are already being progressed.

Lim said: “The prime minister and de facto law minister should realise that the best way to ensure that there is no recurrence of judicial outrages and scandals like those exposed by Chin is to unearth all the skeletons hidden in the cupboards, nay silos, during the two decades of judicial darkness and subject them to the glare of public scrutiny and opprobrium.”

Sometimes I wish Uncle Lim can be like us bloggers and blog readers, resorting to a succinct “F* you two lah!” ;-)

Hey, we have Lingam-gate, NZ huggy holidays, Chin-gate, etc in Malaysia – let’s look around the globe.

We know about the kangaroo courts in Iraq hell-bent on a series of murders (no matter the victims were brutes themselves) with one resulting in a horrendous tearing decapitation.

Then there’s the very recent case in Sydney with a Trial aborted over sudoku-playing jurors.

Sydney District Court Judge Peter Zahra was forced to abort a million dollar drugs trial because those bored jurors were playing the puzzle game sudoku while evidence was being given. ;-)

Robyn Hakelis, a lawyer for one of the defendants, knew something was not right when she saw that the jurors (purportedly taking notes) were ‘writing’ vertically rather than ‘horizontally’.

Well, it needn’t take a rocket scientist to know that the court session in Sydney Australia was not conducted in Mandarin or Japanese – wakakakakaka!

Robyn alerted the judge to the puzzle playing. The learned one immediately discharged the jury in the trial which had been running for 66 days over the past four months and had cost taxpayers an estimated $1 million.

Fortunately for the sudoku enthusiasts, they will remain anonymous and no action can be taken against them for the puzzle playing. A new trial is expected to begin in a few weeks after a new jury is empanelled. I suppose the judge could possibly ask one question: “Do any of you play that F* sudoku thingy?” ;-)

Meanwhile over in Pasadena, California, USA, Judge Alex Kozinski, chief justice of the 9th Circuit, on Wednesday granted a joint motion to suspend the trial after the prosecution said it needed time to look into the issue of the judge's (yes, his) website. A newspaper reported that Judge Alex Kozinski had sexually explicit material on his own website.

The Australian wrote in Cow porn judge suspends trial that Judge Alex Kozinski told news reporters he wasn’t aware photographs posted on his personal website could be viewed by the public and that he had removed the pictures.

What he had posted was a photograph of nude women on all fours painted to look like cows, while a video on the site showed a semi-naked man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal. MoooooOOOOOOoooooo ;-)

Then two years ago there was the Florida Sixth Judicial Court Judge Brandt Downey III who viewed pornographic Internet website from the computer in his judicial chambers. Additionally Downey was accused of sexual harassment, and he admitted that his conduct towards the women had been 'inappropriate'.

He confessed that he was trying to 'get to know' one of the female attorneys 'better on a social level' but admitted it was inappropriate in that she had cases pending in his court.

But nothing beat the 2004 case regarding a Judge in hot water over masturbation claims.

Well, Sapulpa District Judge Donald Thompson in Oklahoma must have been feeling like those Sydney jurors, bored, because he decided to masturbate while he presided over an ongoing court session ;-)

Wait, it seems he was more than bored. Oklahoma's Attorney-General asked for him to be removed stating he had been suspected of frequently masturbating with a device for enhancing erections while his court was in session.

In the petition, the Attorney-General alleged Mr Thompson used a penis pump, a device billed as providing sexual pleasure and promising better erections and larger penis size, during trials.

Now beat this - The Attorney-General also averred the judge exposed himself to a court reporter several times while masturbating on the bench. The reporter Lisa Foster saw Judge Thompson holding his penis up and shaving underneath it with a disposable razor while on the bench.

Several witnesses, including jurors in Mr Thompson's court and police officers called to testify in trials, said in the petition they heard the 'swooshing' sound of a penis pump during trials. They claimed they saw the judge slumped in his chair, with his elbows on his knees, working the device.

Judge Thompson admitted to investigators that indeed he had a penis pump under the bench during a murder trial but claimed it was a gag gift from a friend.

Last heard he was on his way to prison.

OK, court adjoined ;-)


  1. Yes, the court adjoined the judge to the prison !!!

  2. Let the Machiavellian disciples in UMNO outdo each other. Let us see who is the ultimate 'Machiavelli' in UMNO. Real interesting time!