The typical idyllic scene in an older part of Suburbia – a kedai kopi (coffee shop or in reality, just a stall) beneath a Malaysian ‘buah cherry’ tree. The customers sit al fresco enjoying their coffee or tea, some nasi lemak, roti canai or kueh, and their favourite hobby, casual conversation.
Ahmad: Dei, good news lah! Thank goodness the former ACA Director-General Zulkipli Mat Noor has been cleared of corruption allegations in an investigation last year by the ACA.
Muthu (gasp): Ahmad, good news? You serious ah?
Ahmad and Leong (quaffing his kopi-oh) smiled at each other …
Leong: Seorang very slow this morning lah! Hehehe …
Muthu (suddenly realising Ahmad had been dripping with sarcasm – in desperate damage control): Karn Neen nar lah. How the hell do you expect me to make kopi-oh and teh susu for you and at the same discern the bloody vinegar you’re pouring into my kettle?
Leong: Aiyah, lau peng yu, you’re really slow this morning. Even your teh tarik is not at its max length lah. Sarcasm aside, you failed to catch the important point that Ahmad mentioned!
Leong pronounced ‘mentioned’ as ‘mentioonnn’ with the ‘… tioonnn’ dragged out and falling as the Chinese 4th tone
Muthu (exasperated): Dei, what lah? Tell, tell, don’t main main saja.
Leong: The Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Mohd Nazri Abdul Aziz who’s also acting Law Minister, told parliament that the former ACA Boss was cleared of corruption by his own department.
Muthu (gasp): The Head of the ACA investigated and cleared by the ACA?
Ahmad: And that's from the mouth of our dear minister Mohd Nazri Abdul Aziz right in parliament.
… revealing his punchline as well as finishing off his teh susu with a loud slurping sound
He continued: Excuse my slurping but that’s what I would like to do with the blood of those bloody blood suckers. And you know what else?
Muthu & Leong (in unison): What else?
Ahmad: That menteri contradicted himself continuously in parliament under the inquisitorial questioning of Mr Opposition. You know Lim Kit Siang ... once he has a government minister by his balls, he squeezed them hard and doesn't let go.
That Yang Berhormat got himself tied up in such a knot that would challenge even the lateral thinking of the Great Iskandar. We aren’t Malaysia Boleh for nothing.
It was inevitable that with his self contradictions, he had Lim shouting that the ACA clearing its own boss was an unmitigated disgrace! Lim went ballistic as he asked pointedly why the PM ministry said that investigation has been completed, when the IGP said otherwise?
Lim even accused Nazri of misleading parliament ... now many Malaysians may not even realise the seriousness of such a criticism directed pointedly at a minister.
Leong: Adoi ... that's nothing less than a resignation issue. Nazri should be required, by parliamentary standards, in fact by his own PM, to resign his ministerial position for misleading parliament ... but what’s the bloody point ... those BN people have no shame.
Look, one MP from Melaka dared to admit in parliament that he attempted to persuade Custom to close one eye to his illegal importation of prohibited sawn timber, yet the PM has allowed him to shame parliament by his continuing presence in the House.
He’s still sucking up the salary and perks as a Yang Berhormat. And to add insult to injury he had even tried to sabo the Custom officer who told him off. As if that wasn't enough shame for him, he even hurled tasteless sexist jokes at lady MPs, all these in parliament. No wonder people are calling the once-august institution a monkey house!
The three friends went silent after the brief conversation, stunned by the shameless arrogance of the BN minister and the government, and wondered how a great nation like Tengku’s Malaysia had decayed into the unbelievable corrupt and totally unaccountable state it is today.
The Bush Cherry Dialogues:
(1) Beneath the buah cherry tree
(2) Beneath the buah cherry tree (2)
(3) Beneath the buah cherry tree (3)
(4) Beneath the buah cherry tree (4)
(5) Beneath the buah cherry tree (5)
(6) Beneath the buah cherry tree (6)