Friday, April 20, 2007

Ijok - glimpses of Vision 2020

Dr Mahathir must be proud that his Vision 2020, of Malaysia attaining 1st World status by the year 2020, was very much in evident during the nomination process for the Ijok by-election in Selangor, outside the Dewan Orang Ramai Batang Berjuntai, near Ijok.

After the nomination period ended at 10 am, supporters of BN’s K Parthiban and PKR’s Khalid Ibrahim decided to flaunt their V-2020 credentials by
‘exchanging’ bottled water, a traditional though modernised Malaysian custom.

In the old days, any handy loose chairs would do as piloting aspirants air-tested the furniture’s aerodynamic properties. But today, that’s really déclassé.

1st World affluence demands that only bottled water would do, and bearing in mind science’s advice that 1 litre of water weighs 1 hefty kilogram, flying missiles of 375 ml or even 750 ml unopened bottles could have devastating effect.

A supporter of one of the candidates was heard to have said
“Take my Evian, you …. (censored) …”

The response was shockingly provocative:
“Cheapskate – here’s my Glacia Nova … nah nah nah!”

Mount Franklins, Abbey Well, AQA, Adonis Heilwasser and our local Alpine were among many brands shown off and exchanged by wannabe test-pilots from both BN and PKR.

I heard those el-cheapo DAP blokes and lassies who were there stuck to JKR-juice in imitation Tupperware and refused to release the containers for launching, whilst PAS also refused to let go of their Al Ghadir (imported from Saudi Arabia). It would have been most disrespectful to fling away stuff imported from the Saudi nation.

The top find from the post-exchange debris was a Bling H2O (at US$40 for 750 ml, the most expensive bottled water in the world) but no one wanted to confess to ownership.
A few Chap Tiga Kepala were also discovered, evidence to Najib Tun Razak’s glocalisation, but again, like the other end of the range Bling H2O, there were embarrassed reluctance to admit to their ownership.

Some shouts of “Korrupt” and “So-domee” were also offered but I was advised those were brands yet to be on the market. Again I was informed the third called “Al-Tan-toonya" (sounds like it’s from a joint Arab-Chinese company) wasn’t an East Asian or Middle-Eastern brand - yet anyway.

Hmmm, some blokes had the bloody nerve to cash in on the nomination day with early advertising for their wares.

Congratulations on your vision, Doctor, we certainly are 1st World Boleh even in our fracas.


  1. Our Malaysian leaders have finally decided to officially celebrate the Buddhist festival of Songkran. What will the mufti of Perak, Harussani say to this deviation of islam?

    In the streets, throngs of Thais love to stand in rows, waiting with buckets and hoses to douse everyone going by. But over here, to cut down on the excess wastage of water and to respect the coming droughts due to climate change, Malaysians carefully filled the precious water in plastic bottles before hurling them onto each other's heads. Thankfully they haven't thought of filling glass bottles with concentrated HCl or H2SO4....yet.

    Just hope malaysians don't decide on following the Arabs' way of celebrating by tying c4 to their bodies and them blowing themselves up in crowded places so as to get the promised 72 houris.

  2. blingH20 looks like a very expensive brand!

    This exchange of bottled water is healthy in a way as it does let off some strong emotions.
    Similar to boxing or kicking a stuffed target.

    Aslo good as no extra ammo is needed. Who says Malaysians don't recycle?