What is so difficult about covering your knees?

OPINION | What is so difficult about covering your knees?


12 Dec 2025 • 9:00 AM MYT



Fa Abdul
FA ABDUL is a former columnist of Malaysiakini & Free Malaysia Today (FMT)

Photo credit: mstar


Attention, citizens: another national emergency has struck Malaysia, and the real victims are not those clueless people denied entry to hospitals or police stations. No, no. The true sufferers are the security guards, officers, and public servants forced to endure the traumatic, spirit-crushing sight of your knees.


Yes, you read that right. In Kajang, a woman’s Bermudas covered her knees - just not enough for the highly trained Knee Vigilance Unit. In Cyberjaya, a sleeveless dress dared to expose scandalous arms. In Melaka, a skirt displayed a suspiciously liberated amount of thigh. And in Johor? Shorts. Actual shorts. God help us all.


Shit happens. Priority please.


To all these self-proclaimed victims - how dare you? How have you survived decades in Malaysia without assembling a full emergency wardrobe approved by the Moral Fashion Council?


Sarongs? Long pants? Turtlenecks? You mean to say you left the house without ANY of these? Shame. Embarrassing, really.


Next time, keep a change of clothes in your glove compartment. Better yet, keep a portable dressing room in your boot. Because clearly, our brave public servants will stop at nothing to protect Malaysia from the violent assault of your exposed kneecaps.


Think of their suffering. Their poor eyeballs, strained from hours of involuntarily witnessing knees, ankles, and bare arms in the wild.


Imagine walking past a hospital entrance and seeing a rogue pair of knees… waving freely in the breeze. Their eyes bleed. Their sanity crumbles. Meanwhile, you’re busy crying on Facebook about being “discriminated against.”


Emergency? Forget them. Car accident? Too bad. Dying relative? Irrelevant. Shit happens, so get over it lah! Priorities, please.


Malaysian Public Service Survival Tips


Remember the first rule of Malaysian public service survival - cover up or go home.


Is this concept really so difficult to absorb through your thick skull? Even ministers wouldn’t be exempt - that’s how seriously they take knee-related threats to national stability.


And speaking of ministers… there’s a reason they’re silent on this issue. They are afraid. TERRIFIED. Your knees are too powerful. Don’t you know those pure, gentle souls in Putrajaya could have their faith shattered instantly by the sight of your sinful, uncovered patellas?


So please, the next time you want to lodge a report or visit a hospital: have some decency. Kelantan-level decency, okay, not KL-level. Bring a sarong. Carry long pants. Honestly, maybe just invest in a burqa. Full coverage. Front, back, sides.


And maybe - just maybe - we can finally be spared the national trauma of yet another news headline about knee-showing indecency. Pft.