Thursday, December 01, 2011

The Last Communalist?

Scene: Aircon VVIP room, nasi kandar shop, Jalan Kerbau

Participants: Shop owner Maidin & VVIP Low Brow (LB)

Act 1

Maidin: Tan Sri, how about our kari sapi? The beef is of premium quality and very fresh, direct from NFC. And perhaps a glass of teh-tarik, made with fresh susu, also from NFC

LB: The susu bloody well be fresh; it's the least I expect from tits covered at 26,000 ringgit.

Maidin: Er … 26,000 ringg ….

LB: Never mind, get on with my order!

Act 2

Maidin returning to VVIP room with the ‘fresh’ sapi & fresh susu dish and drinks

Maidin: Er … Tan Sri, I hope you don’t mind if I boldly say that my members have been terribly disappointed that we haven’t had a senator appointed in the last exercise, more so when that non-Muslim Nallakarupan has been appointed as one.

LB: Well, give me some justification then to appoint you.

Maidin (smiling): Tan Sri, I know the DAP will be our main threat in GE13

LB (in bad mood): SO!

Maidin: We need a strategy to instill fear of the DAP in the heartland.

LB: What the f* kerbau @r$e do you think we’ve been doing at the assembly?

Maidin: Tan Sri, please permit me to say what we have done thus far is not enough - there's not enough hate-fear factor. We need to spread word that Ong Boon Hua has joined the DAP. That’ll surely …..

LB (cutting in rudely): Who the f* lembu tetek is Ong Boon Hua? [at same time, rolls eyes and thinks: f* unbelievable, 26,000 ringgit!]

Maidin: Tan Sri, he's Chin Peng – he has already been made into an object of hate for the heartland; his joining DAP should turn the heartland thoroughly against that party.

LB: Hmmm, I think you may have something there, Maidin my boy, but how the f* sapi sh*t can we get him to do that?

Maidin: Well, we can either publish the usual lies ... er ... I mean, propaganda, or … we can horse trade with Boon Hua.

LB (perplex): How … I mean the latter of course?

Maidin: Tan Sri, we offer him entry into Malaysia; he wants to go back to Teluk Anson … er … I mean Intan to die in his birth place.

Naturally, all this has to be done subtly, as if the DAP, drunk with arrogant expectation that Pakatan will form the next government, is sponsoring him with a condition that he joins the party – we can send our south Thailand experts to do the job, you know, the sex-video Trio.

We'll provide Boon Hua with an application form to join the DAP in Teluk Intan. Once we have the form filled up and signed by him, we'll publish it in UM. Then Karpal Singh and Lim Kit Siang can protest for all we care. And best of all, we needn't honour our pledge to Boon Hua, for the second time.

LB: Maidin my boy … er … I mean, Senator-in waiting Maidin, you have a winner there.

Maidin (warming up): And this is the clincher, Tan Sri. We'll also spread news that Brother Boon Hua has 'become' a Christian, having joined one of those evangelistic churches that two Chinese bloggers have been raving and condemning some DAP leaders for helping spread their proselytizing Christian faith.

All we'll need to do is just spread the word of Boon Hua’s conversion and those two bloggers, ironically with anti-DAP fervor as evangelistic as the Christian churches they've accused some DAP leaders of belonging to, will eagerly do the rest.

LB (smiling now): Good work, almost-Senator Maidin. Now, all we need is a catchy title or label to highlight the new campaign about that dreaded Communist Christian Chinese.

Maidin: How about “The Last Communist”, implying he was a communist, the last of his kind, because he has turned into an equally dreaded Christian, perhaps even with a solar-powered Malay language Bible?

LB: Absolutely NOT! I don’t want that loose cannon traitor Amir Muhammad coming back to kacau us.

Maidin: Okay okay Tan Sri, how about “The Last Communalist”, sending the message that though he’s Chinese, he, like the other DAP people, doesn’t want to recognize we are not the nonsensical Bangsa Malaysia but really ethnic-proud Malays, Indian, Chinese, etc like Kadir Jasin, Ridhuan Tee and you, Tan Sri?

LB (teasing): You left out ‘mamak’? He he he!

Maidin (thought of retorting sharply but thought better of that) smiles obsequiously.


  1. KT,with the GE just around the corner,your topics should be more about how to chased the crooks of a lembu out of Putrajaya.How about hanging them by their feet upside down,starked naked in people's square for a start.Cheers.

  2. dont worry, the sunday preaching wong chun wai will do the job for UMNO.

    hey he needs to cari makan.

  3. Bruno, I'm a proper process person ;-)

  4. How about Ong Boon Hua joining Perkasa?

  5. I support Barisan Nasional.
    Almost all of the progress in this country was under their leadership.
    What has DAP / PAS / PKR done ?

  6. DAP remains very vulnerable to charges of anti-Malay racism, because there is some element of truth to it.
    Maybe not true for people like Lim Guan Eng, but many 2nd tier DAP leaders unfortunately fit the Ugly Chinese stereotype that UMNO likes to tar DAP with.

    DAP could start by getting rid of THEIR Warlords like the Ngeh and Nga cousins.

  7. Najeeb: Aiya Mydeen, why ah you sell sub-standard goods for MY1 shop. People complainlah milk for infants also sub-standard one.
    Mydeen: Sir you want cheap price, you get cheap goods lah.
    A Passerby remarked: Aiya why must complain, complain. In Malaysia you have processed food, processed people, processed thoughts.

    Lucky lor, Buttercup is a Mat Salleh and KT is a naturalized Oz dancing to Waltzing Matilda.

  8. Seems UMNO is so desperate that it's now spewing outlandish remarks about the opposition....

    Even a deputy minister says that the opposition is colluding with foreigners to invoke a local "Spring"

  9. Let me be very clear.
    I want to see UMNO LOSE this election.
    I will vote for Anwar Ibrahim if he is in my area.
    I will vote for Azmin Ali if he is in my area.
    I will even vote fo Loh Gwo-Burne if that's what it takes to make sure UMNO loses...


    Why are catholic priests and bishops so hamsap one?

  11. Anon 9:05 AM December 04

    The spirit is Holy, but the flesh is Weak.

    Try living without any "Conjugal" activities for the next 10 years, all the time coming into contact with pretty young girls (or boys, whichever way your Orientation is)....hahaha...

  12. wong chun wai,

    in the spirit of your christian faith, do the last lap for UMNO and spin it. you will be well rewarded by the evil UMNO. afterall, whats evil if a tan sri ship is beckoning, no?

  13. wong chun wai is hoping for a toonship, not a tan sri ship.

    Looks like Senator Ah Koon would not be awarded a toonship after all he did for umno

  14. Bung is again asking the cow lady to resign ...

    Any fella wants party people to head GLCs...

    This political party is behaving like public money (yours & mine) is for them to use as they see fit.

  15. Najis is sweating by the buckets because he knows if he loses the PM position, the aftermath could well be a long jail term.
    Scorpene, Altantuya...all the ghosts are waiting for him outside the door...

    Interestingly, the threat applies to Anwar Al-Juburi as well.

    Which makes GE13 exceptionally dangerous to the country. Desperate men do desparate things.

    Maybe the General elections should be suspended ?

  16. Kapal Sink vs. DAP warlords.

    Aiyoyo Bai....DAP heading for disaster in GE13....clap...clap...