Dep Minister: Use 'gentle' physical touch on undisciplined wives
Women, Family, and Community Development Deputy Minister Siti Zailah Mohd Yusoff has released some tips for married couples to help each other become better people.
They include telling women to take a soft approach with their husbands, and also for husbands to use "gentle" physical touch if their wives are stubborn.
In a video published yesterday, Siti Zailah said women who want to confront their husbands over anger or disliked behaviour should do so when the men are calm.
"Speak to the husbands when they are calm, are full and have finished eating, have prayed, and are relaxed.
"When we want to speak, ask for permission first," she said.
She said alternatively, wives can use gentle language so that their husbands are more "receptive" to the criticism.
If the husband gets angry, the deputy minister said it is best for wives to remain silent and not talk back which can make matters worse.
Tips for husbands
Meanwhile, in a video released today, Siti Zailah said husbands who want to guide their wives who may not be covering their aurat (safeguarding their modesty), following God's commands, or doing things that are disliked, should advise them first.
If the wives do not heed the advice, Siti Zailah said it is permissable in Islam for the husband to sleep separately from the wives for three days, to show their displeasure.
However, if this doesn't work, she said husbands can use "gentle" physical touch against undisciplined wives.
"Use physical touch that is gentle, that educate and is full of love, but does not cause hurt, but shows how stern we are in wanting to change their behaviour," she said.
If the wives still refuse to comply, Siti Zailah said husbands should pray for God to open the women's hearts to be more receptive to guidance.
The deputy minister's tips, however, have been met with criticism.
'Advice' a disservice
Permatang Pauh MP Nurul Izzah Anwar, said Siti Zailah's advice was a "disservice".
"The pandemic has only seen an increase in domestic abuse with a total of 9,015 cases reported - predominantly (of violence) against women.
"This so-called 'advice' by the deputy minister is a disservice and goes against the current realities and needs," she tweeted.
Nurul Izzah then shared an article by Islamic scholar Abdullah Hassan which argues that the Quran and Islam do not permit husbands to hit their wives - lightly or not - or abuse them.
Instead, Abdullah argued that showing anger without physical violence should be the last resort in responding to a disobedient wife.
He also cited hadith (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad), in which the prophet greatly discouraged husbands from beating their wives.
This is not the first time Siti Zailah has given domestic advice which was controversial.
In April 2020, she posted a video acknowledging that the movement control order (MCO) might put stress on families, leading to domestic violence.
In view of this, she provided three "tips" on how to defuse tensions, including being appreciative, showing forgiveness, and being religious. She said victims of domestic abuse should contact her ministry's Talian Kasih hotline for help.
Although Siti Zailah did not overtly say women should accept, be patient, and forgive their abusive partners, many critics, including social activist Marina Mahathir, have interpreted her message as such in the context of the entire video clip.
Only in Malaysia do you get politicians who think they are eminently qualified to act as marriage counsellors.
ReplyDeleteThe saying, "It is better to be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt" seems most apt in this instance.
This is the same person who associated MH370 disappearance with Allah's wrath for the "Revealing" MAS female flight attendants uniform.
ReplyDelete