Sunday, August 07, 2011

Ads on TV67

Hi everyone, I’m Dodgy Dimsum. On this happy Sunday I wish to launch two of my latest products, a deodorant and an antidote for headaches on ‘mornings after’.

First, the deodorant.


Oi, you have sweaty armpits. Spare a thought for men, especially those poor Pa Chik’s who are fasting. Do you have to offend them with your BO when you expose your armpits?

Use Bersih, the new refreshing deororant.

It normally comes in three fragrances: jasmine, cempaka and pandan!

And for this special month, we offer a new scent, kemenyen. Yes, kemenyen to particularly educate insensitive sleazy inter-lork*

* ‘lork is a Penang Hokkien word for sluts, especially those who were sold into prostitution by their mums

Brought to you by a Dodgy Dimsum Bersih-ing Production.


Now, the analgesic.


Being proactive is the key – use Auntie Dipootee pills to avoid that painful depressing ‘mornings after’.

Auntie Dipootee neutralises the Dipootee virus and prevents not only pain but regrets over the Dipootee treacherous attacks.

So don’t wait until you have to react – it’ll be too late by then.

Listen to what the experts have to say:

“After being exposed to adverse elements in 1969, I should have been more careful and taken Auntie Dipootee pills to prevent a Dipootee viral attack. I awoke on morning of 22 September the following year to realize the extent of the attack from which I never ever did recover. Not only did my head suffer but my heart was broken.”

- Abdul Rahman (Penang)

“I suppose one of the principal symptoms warning me of a pending Dipootee viral attack was my constant drowsiness. But confident of my good medical report of 2004, I ignored those symptoms, now every much to my regret. The Dipootee virus made me hallucinate as well, where on one occasion I saw a bridge as crooked. Finally on 02 April 2009, I acknowledged the infliction was far too serious for me to continue with my job.”

- Dollah bin Ai Knoon (Penang)

“Hehehe. I used Auntie Dipootee regularly, and avoided been affected by that virus, not just once but on several occasions hehehe. No constipation too hehehe.”

- Mah Har Der (address not provided)

“I want to use Auntie Dipootee, very urgently lor.”

- Na Jee Ip a.k.a Ip-man (Pahang)

Brought to you by a Dodgy Dimsum Bersih-ing Production, the people who brought you Big Mamak, Big Mama and soon Big MooMoo.

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