Thursday, July 21, 2011

Lateral thinking by Mat de Brootal

Story No 1

Once upon a time a man named Edward de Bono explained his theory of ‘lateral thinking’ with the following story (in kaytee’s own words wakakaka):

A bastard of an old loan shark lusted after a sweetie whose father was pathetically poor thus vulnerable to borrowing money from the Ah Long. As the story went, Dad was in deep deep deep, very deep financial shit with the Ah Long when the assh*le decided to pounce and satisfy his evil lust.

He told the sweetie to bet on a 50-50 chance game, for her to pick either a white or black pebble from a bag. Picking up a white pebble would mean she wins, with her father’s debt completely cleared, while picking up a black would require her to marry the prick. It was an 'all or nothing' gamble, an offer which Don Vito Corleone would have said that sweetie couldn't refuse.

Coincidentally where Ah Long and the sweetie were standing, the ground was covered with white and black pebbles.

Of course Ah Long intended to win by cheating so he placed two black stones in the bag. Sweetie saw the bastard doing that but knew she was in a fix. If she made noise, Ah Long would make her father’s life hell.

So we were told that she employed ‘lateral thinking’

She picked a pebble (obviously black) from the bag but ... ooops a daisy ... she dropped it on the ground. She bersandiwara and apologised to Ah Long, but asserted that all was not lost as whatever colour pebble was left in the bag would mean the one she dropped, accidentally of course, would be of the opposite colour (in other words, a winning white).

That’s Edward de Bono’s explanation of what ‘lateral thinking’ is, where sweetie won without being confrontational with Ah Long. To kaytee it’s just another term for ‘creative thinking’.

Story No 2

Once upon a time a man named Macc Mat de Brootal of the Brootal Clan explained his theory of ‘lateral thinking’ with the following story (in kaytee’s own words wakakaka):

A bastard of a sadistic oppressor lusted after a confession from a young man for nefarious purposes. In the interrogation he killed the victim, perhaps accidentally, but nonetheless a crime that would have been classified at least as ‘manslaughter’, one requiring imprisonment of the Mossad-like assh*le.

To cut the story short, he and backers attempted to pass the death off as suicide but the public did not accept that implausible bullsh*t because facts and logic stood in the bloody way of what he thought would be a convenient escape.

His backers had to think of a way out, one that won’t implicate the draconian Shabak-like (Shin Bet like) clone with a crime (this one mana boleh lah), but provide that extra something beyond just a mere statement of ‘suicide’, though mind you, not too much, just a wee sweetener for the public to punish the prick with a slap or maybe even two on his f* wrist, which was covered with the victim's blood.

So, they thought ‘creative thinking’ was in order, with a new inquiry. The aim was to win without complete denial of some (light) form of punishment to satisfy the angry crowd.

Coincidentally, the finding came out that death was indeed by suicide due to the weak character of the victim, but, here’s what they thought would be the wee sweetener (probably arrived at weeks after the inquiry report was submitted), the cause of the suicide was contributed by incorrect interrogation techniques, deemed as aggressive, inappropriate and therefore in violation of the regulations.

The Aman (Agaf HaModi'in)-like assh*le would then be dealt with by an administrative tribunal for his harsh interrogation techniques since it was just a case of poor judgement and not a ‘crime’ - perhaps with a small pay deduction or more probably, a promotion sideways. An administrative slap-on-the-wrist was the maximum punishment acceptable for 'The Chosen Ones' who would/must never be ever responsible for any crimes - don't believe me, hey man, ask the Palestinians.

Kow tim.

Recall, I posted yesterday in
The missing public trust where I asked “Does anyone (other than UMNO and cronies) trust … [any Malaysian public institution]?”

But praise The Lord, and thank goodness for atheists like me, Story No 2 did not happen in Malaysia, but elsewhere … in B****Land.


  1. PM Najib,what Kaytee meant was you should have choosen the right people with the smarts.The right people who know how to used their brains instead of their knees.Then you wouldn't be in these blurdy mess.In other words it says serves you right for not thinking right.

  2. Once in a while it makes sense in politics to take a break,relax,smoke a cigar and ponder.You might come up with some bright ideas.It doesn't take a genius to figure out that pitting Wong Choon Huat against running lapdogs LTL or Chuah Jr is a sure bet of MCA losing one more Parliamentary seat.Even in a Malay majority or so called safe seat.

  3. Typo error it should be Wong Chin Huat of Bersih and not Wong Choon Huat.

  4. i cry for teoh beng hock.

    i just want to know the grave of the father of the chinese dog. i just want to know why he produced a mongrel for UMNO.

    me and my friend has agreed one thing. if he ever bump into us in a restaurant, we will spit at this mongrel.


    my apologies for being loud.

  5. Teoh Beng Hock committed suicide.

    Just accept it and move on.

  6. Hua Ren is right. The verdict of the inquiry is expected from the start. All reasoning points to a suicide.
    We have spent so much money already, pandering to Teoh's family who are being used by DAP. Time to move on!

  7. Suppose Buttercup "committed suicide" after being called up for "an interview as a witness" by the macc.

    Then Hua Ren says that Buttercup committed suicide and we should just accept it and move on.

    How will Buttercup's family feel?

  8. actually what can we do other than accepting the decision and moving on? Some wise words from KT perhaps?

  9. eye for an eye,perhaps?

  10. Najib is in hot soup.His cancellation of a long planned vacation in Italy is sure a surprised.What life and death matter would warren such a harsh decision.Well,maybe the presence of the French lawyer of the scorpene submarines.But this guy is in immigration's custody waiting to be deported.Or maybe Ku LI's Amanah.Or maybe an Umno coup is in place.Let's wait and see.

  11. Anon 9:01 PM, July 22, 2011

    //actually what can we do other than accepting the decision and moving on? //

    What can we do? Charge the 3 macc buggers with premeditated murder! After all, they planned the whole thing in advance.

  12. Again Najib's blundering goons have put the Umno GOM in the international spotlight for all the wrong reasons.For deporting Frenchie lawyer from talking about scorpene submarine.Tomorrow it is going to be in the international news.All these fools are doing is shooting themselves in the foot over and over again.Can't any of these Umno fools be kind enough to give Jibby a break.This guy just came back from a hectic travelling spree.

  13. Idiots!

    Justice MUST be seen to be done.

    When a man die for a concocted suicide, let's just move on!

    Ye, move on, when the diamond ring is actually bought. Why talk about it after all it's been bought & paid for. Who care where the money came from.

    When the stadium roof collapsed, blamed everywhere & anyone. After all it's done, let's move on.

    Bloody mentality. Causality is not just applied in physic. It's in every day's life.

    What about Accountability?

    Don't cry over spilled milk? Wait till u r the one at the shitting end!

    Some STRONG actions MUST be Taken so that M'sians can stand to face the world about how WE tackled the injustice.

    Move on, ye, my foot & middle finger.

  14. buttercup,

    may all your children jump from the 17th floor of MACC office.

  15. My family will accept if i committed suicide. Like Aminul 's famiky we accept what the ciourt has to say. We Muslims will ask for forgiveness. We are not in thr habit of blaming others.