Sunday, October 21, 2007

Monkey business afoot

Typical Malaysian monkey business!

Malaysiakini has an article titled Conspiracy to export monkeys for profit: NGO where Malaysian Animal Rights and Welfare Society (Roar – ooooo, I love the ‘sound’ of its acronym) wants the Anti-Corruption Agency (ACA) to look into alleged dodgy business dealings involving a minister and a former director-general in the export of wild monkeys. Apparently the allegation costs each exported monkey at RM250 per pop, which means the business isn't exactly peanuts.

But don't worry about the bananas. Did you read of those alleged to be involved in the monkey business?

The personalities that Roar reported to the ACA as ‘naughty’ people are the Malaysian Environment Minister Azmi Khalid and former Department of Wildlife and National Parks DG Musa Nordin.

The Environment Minister and the (former) Director-General of the Department of Wildlife and National Parks?

Staggering, isn’t it – one would expect any of these two to be among the first, if not the first, to protect wildlife, yet we have a wildlife conservation group reporting these two to the ACA for questionable exports of wildlife, but hey, read my previous post Mizaru, Kikazaru, Iwazaru where I quoted Dean Johns, one of the top columnists at Malaysiakini, on his article of Malaysian monkey business.

The absurd incongruity of protectors being seen in the role of alleged violators might explain why Roar pro-tem chairperson N Surendran, showing frustration and deep anger at a press conference, roared: “We are angry that the animals are being exploited by the very ministry tasked to protect them.”

Surendran referred to a news article published by the Star on Sept 11, where Musa Nordin, the former DG of the Department of Wildlife and National Parks, admitted he was “indirectly involved” in the monkey trade.

Surendran said: “We have information that the decision to export the monkey [was] when Musa Nordin was still the DG. We have information that there is connection with the company. He has close contacts with the Department of Wildlife. Clearly there was some hanky panky going on there with elements of corruption.”

'... the decision to export the monkey [was] when Musa Nordin was still the DG'!

But then this is Malaysia, isn’t it, where in recent time, we even have had worse alleged cases of dodginess, those of the Deputy Minister of Internal Security and the Inspector-General of Police, the two top notch law enforcers, being involved with top notch criminals. Mind you, those allegations have been dismissed - thank god, now we all can sleep in peace.

Oh, did I omit mention of the (former) Head of the Anti-Corruption Agency who was accused of alleged crimes of corruption and sexual abuses? But no worries, he was also cleared of any wrong doing – it’s eight bells and all’s swell, praise be to the Lord, the Lord is One!

Yes, there was the Attorney-General who exceeded his authority in ordering the ACA (not under his administrative control) in his enthusiasm to close off the ACA’s investigation in the above allegations of corruption and criminality. Elegant silence - O how sweet is this silence!

Mind you, we currently have pending accusations against the Head of the Malaysian Bench still unanswered.

... and probably will remain unanswered as we are informed by Malaysiakini that the Head of the ACA has just stated that the Lingam videotape is compromised (diganggu) because its footage had been edited, and that unless the whistleblower(s) come out of hiding, the tape is not considered kosher and won't be admissible evidence.

My Lord, the Defence rests, now you may rest too!

OK, I won’t go into any further details about the idiocy of the Science Minister planning for the next Malaysian cosmonaut to perform space walks and … get this moronic suggestion … repair a spacecraft - hmmm, maybe on Star Trek’s USS Enterprise or if we want to be more Boleh, a Klingon Raptor battlecruiser.

Yes, let's go where no one has gone before!

Ah, remember the World’s most courageous pig-killer? No no, not Meleager - he's Greek - or Asterix who's a Gaul!

However, in this monkey business I see half a glass full rather than half a glass empty, because the lifting of the ban on export of wildlife may permit us to export some unwanted baboons and gorilla-like apes from that big Monkey House, yes that one which had leaked, both from its ceiling and from the filthy mouths of some of its residents.

Forget about the RM250 per monkey, let’s export these Monkey House simians (but not those noble creatures in the wild) for free! I'll chip in more than a couple of ringgit just to be able to see them get out of our country

But alas, reality kicks in and let’s brace ourselves to expect (but not accept) more of AAB’s unbelievable condoning of his cohort's ‘close-one-eye’ shame.

(1) Cyclops in Monkey House
(2) Monkey Business in Big Monkey House
(3) MP's menstruation mesmerised motherless monkeys


  1. Malaysia is a signatory to the Convention of the International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES). We are legally bound to abide by it.
    Malaysia's record is mixed. There is active enforcement, but there is a lot of illegal trade going on, and those who get caught often get away with light penalties.

    Actually, there are one or two species of monkeys which growing population is becoming a nuisance, and it won't do harm if there is a restricted export trade allowed, instead of culling them.

    But as usual in Bolehland, I'm very concerned this becomes a conduit to funnel much more profitable exports of endangered species. There are certainly rich enough profits to pay off relevant officials.

  2. kitycat46 said: 'Actually, there are one or two species of monkeys which growing population is becoming a nuisance, and it won't do harm if there is a restricted export trade allowed, instead of culling them.'
    The real situation is as follows.
    If these monkeys are exported, what will happen to them? The answer is crystal clear:
    Either they will be eaten; slaughtered and cooked in the pot, or they will be fastened under a special table, the top of their skull will cut hacked off and their brains will be eaten whilst the animal is still alive.
    Or they will suffer a fate worse than death by being used for experiments in third countries (eg. China) by multinational companies (eg. from USA) who are not able to carry out such cruel research in their own territories.

    Therefore is is surely better to either properly relocate them or humanely cull them. if over population is a problem, the monkeys could be sterilised.

    The problem of monkeys moving to urban areas was caused by us, we should use a humane and fair way to solve it. However the evils of greed and corruption, which are now endemic in Malaysia, mean that there are those who only see great profit from monkeys and who do not care one iota about their welfare.

  3. kk46, sorry mate, I support monkey god - put those rotten avaricious officials aside for a while, but culling is the only humane way if the monkey population around habitated ares becomes a nuisance or even public menace; I believe we should not sell those creatures into an unknown and probably cruel fate