Rendang-Wannabe

in Shambala we call it rendang

There was a man who works as a chef at the BBC
When confronted with a rendang he was all at sea
Very much to his chagrin
The chook had no crispy skin
But forgive his silly tastes, he wanted rendang KFC

Wakakaka

There was another man who wished us all 'namaste'

Thinking that'd be good as we have come a long way

His geography stops at India

Or in a London Bombay cafeteria

But he didn't realise his nonsense f**ked up our day

Wakakaka again

Niamahleh?

MM Online - Now ‘Masterchef UK’ claims judge did not say ‘dish should have crispy skin’ (extracts):

syiok lah, but the rendang would have been better if there was M&M and jelly beans in it

by the by, both our granddads were with the Royal Victorian Khyber Rifles
that's why and how we know all about roti prata, raiti, tikka, biryani and dhal ... oh yes ... and namaste-rendang 

KUALA LUMPUR, April 3 — MasterChef UK appears to have denied that judge Gregg Wallace criticised a Malaysian contestant’s rendang for not having crispy chicken skin, despite footage of the episode online.

A spokesperson for the BBC show said at no point did Wallace mention the chicken rendang prepared by Zaleha Kadir Olpin should have crispy skin.

His dubious critique of the curry, along with comments from co-star John Torode, saw Zaleha, 48, booted from MasterChef UK at the quarterfinals stage.

“Gregg wasn’t suggesting that the dish should traditionally have crispy skin — he was saying that he couldn’t experience the flavours of the dish as it was presented,” a MasterChef UK spokesperson said.

“MasterChef has always celebrated international cuisine and on this occasion our judges’ comments were relevant to the dish that had been cooked on the show.”

The statement added that Zaleha didn’t leave the competition because the chicken skin of her rendang wasn’t crispy, but she went out because other cooks were better.

For her quarterfinal entry, Zaleha prepared a nasi lemak with chicken rendang and prawn sambal.

Wallace told the Kuantan-born chef in his feedback “the chicken skin isn’t crispy, it can’t be eaten.”

MasterChef UK seemingly suggest Wallace’s comments merely observe the chicken skin isn’t crispy rather than saying it should have been.

Their rebuttal comes after a day which saw debate over the Zaleha’s chicken rendang brought into the national spotlight, even drawing a response from prime minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak.

And Torode did not say 'namaste'. He was misheard. He actually said 'niamah leh'.

How to tembak kaukau.

From MM Online regarding the rendang controversy (extracts):

One of the two judges Gregg Wallace threw shade at the rendang accompanying Zaleha’s nasi lemak dish by saying the “the skin wasn’t crispy”.

Tembak-ers 

The other judge, John Torode, had said the meat should be “really soft and falling apart”.

Words of pompous bullshitters who know f**k-all about rendang but wanted to show how clever they were. So, tembak kaukau.

Crispy skin my ass. Namaste my ..... (with all respect to Indians).

Orang Putih Crispy Cock Cuisine

Rendang Malaysia

Rendang has its origin in the Minangkabau cuisine
But dumbo Ar-Moe believes it's curry goreng KFC
He wanted the rendang chook to have crispy skin
The Ma' Salleh rendang of chook with skin crispy

Yes, he talked chicken, he talked skin, he tok kok
To him, nasi goreng is so different from fried rice
And a stir fry pan is not the same as a chef's wok
While Kuching pepper is to him not even a spice

Rendang a la Wallace with crispy kok-skin?

You'd wish someone in Malaysia with a 'Namaste'

And do the hula-hula in the desert of Saudi Arabia

Then on seeing Donald Trump you say 'Sayonara'

Oh, with lovely koay teow t'ng you add macadamia

Orang putih MasterChef only cook mashed potato

That's smothered with coleslaw and grey mustard

Somewhere in that muck you'd find a green tomato

That goes every well with sour vinegar-ed custard

lacks the authentic 'al dente' of Torode's spaghetti Bolognaise

Nostalgia

A man cleans durians in front of his home that doubles as a durian stall in Balik Pulau, Penang April 3, 2018. — Picture by KE Ooi

When I was growing up in Ayer Itam Penang, I lived in a house just like the one in photo, though mine was far more ramshackle (after my father passed away), and sadly without durians, wakakaka.

Oh yes, mine didn't have the children's safety doors as the one above.

I remember my trusty old dog would lie on the same type of concrete veranda while waiting for me to return home from school on my equally trusty old cycle, all the way to and from MBS opposite Han Chiang.

This house even has the traditional altar to the Jade Emperor (Lord of Heaven) as can be seen in photo, next to the lady in shawl, as my old house was similarly equipped with.

probably a Cantonese house

Penang Hokkiens (and Teochews like me) did not have 'religious decorations' above plaque (religious tablet)

Wow, the memories are flooding back.

Will DAP contest under PKR flag?

From the Sun Daily (extracts):

Mahathir added that Pakatan Harapan should be coming up with a final decision on the use of a common logo during the Pakatan Harapan presidential council meeting on Tuesday.

Pakatan Harapan will contest under the logo of one of its four member parties if the Registrar of Societies (RoS) fails to approve its application for registration.

Since the DAP banner is a definite no-no (terlampau haram) for Pribumi because the new Bumiputera-Only party does not want to be seen as a Rocket-puppet or a Rocket-master (essentially does NOT want to be associated with a less than bumi entity), it has to be Pribumi, Amanah or PKR.

But as Pribumi (like Pakatan Harapan itself) is unlikely to be registered in time for GE14, that cuts down the options to Amanah or PKR.

No prize for guessing which of the two will be chosen (though I am biased, wakakaka, and have a different opinion altogether).

But will the DAP accept contesting under a PKR banner. I like to see the 8th Wonder of the World. But I predict the DAP may lose some seats because of it, due to non-brand recognition.

Maths of politics may be against Sangeet

FMT - Karpal’s daughter, Sangeet to stand in Puchong? (extracts):

PETALING JAYA: Sangeet Kaur Deo, daughter of the late Karpal Singh, is slated to make her debut in the Puchong parliamentary seat currently held by her older brother Gobind Singh, a party source said.

The source said Gobind is expected to leave Puchong for the Kulai parliamentary seat in Johor, which is now held by state DAP vice-chairperson Teo Nie Ching.

“Sangeet is the preferred candidate for the seat as the party wants to send more women representatives to the Dewan Rakyat,” the source told FMT on condition of anonymity due to the sensitivity of the issue.

Sangeet, who is also a lawyer, is also the Selangor DAP women’s wing deputy chief.

Sangeet grabbed media attention on Jan 8 when she voiced her reservations over the naming of Pakatan Harapan (PH) chairman Dr Mahathir Mohamad as the coalition’s prime minister should the opposition win the 14th general election (GE14).

Disagreeing with the move, she said the fact that the opposition had “no one else” to choose to be prime minister showed its lack of long-term strategy.

“The focus should always be on policies and principles (not personalities) and leaders must be groomed to ensure continuity.

“While it may be an act of desperation, as was our coalition with PAS at one point, will we be open to working with Najib (Prime Minister Najib Razak) one day, should desperate circumstances demand?” she had asked in a statement.

Meanwhile, the party source also said two-term Subang assemblywoman and Selangor state assembly speaker Hannah Yeoh could be another possible candidate to contest in Puchong.

I get the dirty feeling Sangeet may NOT make it as she is frowned upon by the DAP powers-that-be. We might yet see mathematically-challenged** Hannah Yeoh in Puchong instead of Sangeet.

** 'Mathematically-challenged' refers to her 916 conviction (or state of mind, wakakaka) when she wrote a silly letter to Malaysiakini explaining why AAB should accept that Anwar had a case (and right) to demand AAB convene an emergency sitting of Parliament or to press for the dissolution of Parliament to make way for fresh elections.

WTF for, just after an election where AAB’s BN trounced Pakatan by 140 seats to 82? And that was when I began to suspect she was mathematically challenged, wakakaka.

But Hannah took law in Oz, not maths, so I suppose we should let her go for not realising 140 was and still is greater than 82, wakakaka.

Fake news like GST-ed kerang & kembong?

Consider, a priest asks that you believe in, pray to and follow God's will, and you will be rewarded with a place in Heaven.

this is more like "it" 

Will that be "fake news" in violation of Malaysian Laws?

I can only hope it will be, wakakaka.

not very friendly to the "disadvantaged"
so where's the lift?

wakakaka

JPJ's bullshit

The Star Online - JPJ offering 70% discount on all summonses, compounds (extracts):

BATU PAHAT: The Road Transport Department (JPJ) is offering a 70% discount on all summonses and compounds issued by the department for the whole of April in conjunction with its 72nd anniversary celebrations.

Deputy Transport Minister Datuk Ab Aziz Kaprawi announced the discounts on Monday (April 2) morning after launching the JPJ Day national celebrations at the Batu Pahat Mall here.

“After discussing the matter with JPJ director-general Datuk Shaharuddin Kalid, the discount period begins today, and road users need to come to JPJ counters to obtain their discounts," said Ab Aziz.

I believe Malaysia is the ONLY country in the world that gives discounts on summonses and compounds.

It's a joke for two reasons:

(1) its own rules says:

"Traffic offence under the Road Transport Act 1987 dan Road Traffic Method 1959. The rate is fixed according to the standard rate of the Road Transport Department, Royal Police of Malaysia and Kuala Lumpur City Hall.

The rates are as scheduled, with the concept ”the more you delay, the more you pay” effective 1 March 2011 and appeals will not be considered."

(2) Giving discounts show the fines and compounds are treated as if they weren't serious in the first place.

So what's the point of issuing summonses and compounds?

It's just sheer bullshit. But this isn't the first time I have heard of official discounts from fines.

Defenceless not spared by Israelites for 3,500 years

7 And they warred against the Mid'i-anites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males.

8 And they slew the kings of Mid'i-an, beside the rest of them that were slain; namely,Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, five kings of Mid'i-an: Ba'laam also the son of Be'or they slew with the sword.

9 And the children of Israel took all the women of Mid'i-an captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods.

10 And they burnt all their cities wherein they dwelt, and all their goodly castles, with fire.

11 And they took all the spoil, and all the prey, both of men and of beasts.

12 And they brought the captives, and the prey, and the spoil, unto Moses and Ele-a'zar the priest, and unto the congregation of the children of Israel, unto the camp at the plains of Moab, which are by Jordan near Jericho.

- Numbers 31:7-12 (KJV)

MM Online - On Easter Sunday, Pope says ‘defenceless’ being killed in Holy Land (extracts):

VATICAN CITY, April 2 — Pope Francis, in his Easter address yesterday, called for peace in the Holy Land two days after 15 Palestinians were killed on the Israeli-Gaza border, saying the conflict there “does not spare the defenceless”.

The pope made his appeal in his Urbi et Orbi (to the city and the world) message from the central balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica to tens of thousands of people in the flower-bedecked square below where he earlier celebrated a Mass. [...]

Francis appeared to refer directly to the Gaza violence last Friday, calling for “reconciliation for the Holy Land, also experiencing in these days the wounds of ongoing conflict that do not spare the defenceless.”

Israel’s defence minister has rejected calls for an inquiry into the killings by the military during a Palestinian demonstration that turned violent at the Gaza-Israel border.

UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres, Federica Mogherini, the European Union’s foreign policy chief, and other leaders have called for an independent investigation into the bloodshed.

Gerrymandering by race in real terms

Selected extracts from Wikipedia:

Paya Terubong is a STATE constituency in Penang.

In terms of population size, Paya Terubong is the largest STATE constituency in Penang, with 41,707 registered voters within this constituency alone as of 2016.

By contrast, Putrajaya is a FEDERAL constituency (not state constituency like Paya Terubong above) created in 2004 and has the following registered number of voters:

2004 - 5078 voters

2008 - 6,608 voters

2013 - 15,791 voters

In 2013 the STATE constituency of Paya Terubong in Penang is 2.65 times LARGER than the FEDERAL constituency of Putrajaya.

No f**king wonder Tengku Adnan wanted to FT-rise Penang.

The EC Commissioner must be suffering from strabismus, and I hope PAS which is good at praying for death will this time pray that the EC Commissioner's eyes won't be gouged out when he is finally in Neraka, wakakaka.

But thanks Tun Mahathir for your remarkable Putrajaya, the federal constituency that is.

What about Zaid Ibrahim?

The Star - Zaid: Still no offer to contest in polls (extracts):

I sure am hopeful the DAP won't marginalise Zaid. He may be a bit of a loose cannon but within the meaning of being independent-minded. On the plus side, he is politically courageous and quite innovative.

As I once wrote, Zaid suffers no fool gladly and will not hesitate to entertain us with his caustic views of what he might have or may perceive as 'fools' even those on his side - not exactly the type that most political parties like PKR or Pribumi wants, but I hope the DAP will be different.

Or, is the DAP saying Zaid does not merit an opportunity to be an election candidate to represent the people? Is the DAP only considering the election as an opportunity to gain power vis-a-vis Putrajaya, and to f**ks with representing the rakyat?

If Zairil Khir, Dyana Sofya and Be-Bop-a-Lula are competent enough to stand as DAP candidates (and I believe they indeed are), I hope the DAP won't consign Zaid to the 'tangguh' tray like what they did to my Penang lang Zul Mohd Noor back in 2008.

But my reluctant but growing fears for Zaid have been kindled on hearing what Boo Cheng Hau, in refusing DAP's unofficial offer for him to stand in Labis, had stressed, that the party should not offer seats just to the "associates" of leaders.

Boo said, “I advise the Johor DAP leadership to not only focus on distributing seats to associates to prevent being viewed as practising cronyism. They should serve the voters and mobilise the grassroots as early as possible.”

Aurat - now you hear it, now you don't

MM Online - Kelantan Mufti says women’s voice not ‘aurat’, emcee ban perhaps ‘administrative issue’ (extracts):

Ameera was stopped by the local council from hosting an event in Kota Baru over the reasoning that the women’s voice is 'aurat'. — Instagram screenshot

KUALA LUMPUR, April 1 — Women are not barred from speaking up or using the microphone at events as their voice is only considered as a form of “aurat” when performing prayers, Kelantan Mufti Datuk Mohamad Shukri Mohamad has said.

“Aurat” in Malay refers to “intimate body parts” that Muslims must cover with clothing; exposing these is considered sinful.

Responding to the a recent incident in Kelantan where event host Ameera Aida was stopped from hosting a children’s event by the Kota Baru Municipal Council (MPKB), Shukri said the setback could have been an administrative issue and not a question of fatwa.

“A woman’s voice is only an ‘aurat’ while performing her prayers, but beyond that, women are free to project their voice as long as it does not lead to defamation.

Thank god ... er ... I mean ... goodness, this important earth-shattering issue has been solved. Isn't it wonderful we have a PAS government in Kelantan to resolve the Gordon-knot-ish matter.

This is an example of how a PAS government will solve Malaysia's problems and progress our nation back to the 'good olde days'.

Iskandar "untying"the Gordon knot 

PAS just materialistically GREEDY

MM Online - In Melaka, PAS the ‘kingmaker’ eyes CM post (extracts):

kow tim?
kow tim! 

BUKIT KATIL, April 1 — PAS wants to head the Melaka state government should there be a situation where the Islamist party was needed to form a mixed government after GE14.

According to the Islamist party, this prerequisite would apply to both Pakatan Harapan (PH) and Barisan Nasional (BN).

Melaka PAS commissioner Kamaruddin Sidek said that would be the only condition PAS has for any political parties who need their help to not turn Melaka’s administration into a hung government.

“In Melaka, there are 28 DUN seats, which makes the simple majority 15 seats.

“Although PAS only wins two seats, for instance, and Pakatan and BN win 13 seats each, both parties still need to coax PAS into joining them for a mixed government.

“When that happens, we will only agree if PAS is made the Chief Minister of Melaka. Or else, it’s a no from us".

On 6 June last year, Hadi Awang declared PAS members were not squabbling over who should be the Opposition's candidate to be prime minister, adding his party was not concerned over the matter, and asserted that members would accept whoever the party endorsed.

He said, “Everybody is surprised, why has PAS been quiet? All of the PAS members and supporters have not being troubling themselves trying to pick a candidate either to be a village chief, assemblyman, parliamentarian or even a PM candidate”.

He stressed that PAS was committed to its Islamist principles and would not seek positions of power.

Well, Melaka PAS commissioner Kamaruddin Sidek proved him so bloody wrong.

PAS is just materialistically greedy, as it had been in refusing to relinquish its Penang government appointed posts when it broke off with DAP.

Likewise, it shamefully refused to resign from Selangor exo even after it split with Pakatan.

Recall also how Hadi Awang threatened that another May 13 might occur if Penang instituted local council elections. Hadi had feared his PAS members won't have a chance at being appointed to luscious council posts if councillors were only elected.

Prison DG in hot soup?

FMT - Putrajaya wants Prisons DG to explain Anwar statement from jail (extracts):

PETALING JAYA: Deputy Home Minister Nur Jazlan Mohamed said he would seek an explanation from the Prisons Department over a statement issued by opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim from behind bars today.

“I am curious. Did this statement really come from Anwar Ibrahim?” he asked in a tweet, referring to a statement by Anwar condemning the redelineation of electoral boundaries and the controversial Anti-Fake News Bill.

“He is prohibited by prison rules to communicate with the world outside without permission from the Prisons director-general,” said Nur Jazlan.

Anwar’s statement released by PKR today accused Barisan Nasional (BN) of bulldozing through the recently passed motion on redelineation of electoral borders in the Dewan Rakyat.

The above relates to a previous post Anwar back to the front? in which I suggested that because Pakatan having assessed Mahathir has not been very effective in his campaign messages due to his frequent shameful belakang pusing-an (really an embarrasing joke) has decided that the oratory prowess of Anwar would be far far far more welcomed and less-laughed-at, especially as GE14 Day approaches.

Whether it has been Anwar himself who made those recent statements on the gazetted re-delineation exercise and fake news legislation or not doesn't matter, though I am inclined to believe it might have been him given our remarkable prison system leaks like a sieve, where political statements could be issued from within and dedah (drugs) infiltrated inwards to be sold.