Semua ada (1)

Tonight let’s have light and succulent rojak, a mixture of news from Malaysiakini and Star Online:

(1) Shahrir Abdul Samad, domestic trade and consumer affairs minister told AFP that with oil prices at US$117.26 per barrel, it will "put a strain on the budget."

kaytee recommends that he consults Anwar Ibrahim who knows the secret of lowering fuel prices. Anwar knows everything.

In fact my matey Antares wrote a letter to Malaysiakini saying that he regarded Anwar Ibrahim as the Master Plumber who will take on the unpleasant but absolute necessary task of fixing the flush mechanism jammed by UMNO.

I wonder who added to the UMNO cesspool?

(2) Lim GE appointed Lee Kah Choon as a capable bloke to head (please lah, Malaysiakini, not helm, helm, helm) InvestPenang. Najib didn’t like that, Lim KY didn’t like that but AAB yawnnn and even said maybe such a bipartisan appointment might be a start to BN-PR collaboration.

Good on you Lim GE and good on you too, AAB. Congrats Kah Choon.

(3) PAS spiritual leader Pak Haji Nik Aziz Nik said non-Muslims have the right to breed pigs, thus it would be OK for Selangor to develop the proposed high-tech pig farm so long as it does not contaminate the environment. But when asked about Kelantan having a similar hi-tech pig farm he said NIMBY.

(4) Meanwhile Star Metro asked sweetie Teresa Kok what’s her favourite food, to which Sweetie replied pork steamed with salted fish - hope this won't turn into another TK porky piggy controversy. But she lamented that nowadays she hardly have this very nice dish.

What's the matter with you Sir Galahads? Aiyah, you are all hopeless lah - here's a sweetie with a craving and no bold man has rushed forward gallantly; pity kaytee's not in KL to look after Teresa.

No worries dahleeeng, the hi-tech farm will ensure there’s plenty of mince pork.

(5) Science, Technology and Innovation Minister Dr Maximus Ongkili told reporters after the launch of the Creativity and Innovation Day 2008 celebrations at KL Tower yesterday that there’s zero gravity money for the angkasawan program.

But DPM Najib said the space training for Mejar Dr Faiz Khaleed will go on despite the country's space program coming to a virtual halt. I would strongly recommend Naiib to consult Anwar on how to do the impossible ;-) Anwar knows everything.

In the meantime, maybe bungee jumping for the Mejar? He would get a 1 second of zero gravity experience, and it doesn't cost anything ... unless the rubber band overstretches.

(6) Then Deputy PM Najib said he isn’t a coward in response to an insult by Dr M he lacked the balls to speak up about the real reasons behind the BN’s recent election disaster. My blogging matey Susan Loone also called him 'no balls' (shouldn't it be in the singular as in 'no ball', because 'no' or 'none' means less than one?)

Sometimes I do wonder whether a party which won 140 out of 222 seats should be considered as failing in an election? Personally I like odds like 114 to 108 ;-). During a crucial vote, no one dares go to the parliamentary toilet, and believe me, women are better at this ;-)

Of course 114 (or 140) is still the party with the majority. Maybe some UMNO people likes odds like 200 to 22?

(7) PKR president Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail, the de jure PKR president and de jure Opp Leader said AAB has been four years late in restructuring the Anti-Corruption Agency into an independent commission.

Aiyah Datin, nothing is ever too late so long as one is still alive.

(8) AAB said the Penang second bridge project will suffer a 9 month delay because of problems in land acquisition, design and rising cost. OK, I’ll still keep my origami sampan then.

(9) Indonesian Members of Parliament have proposed closer bilateral cooperation with Malaysia in matters of food and energy security. They suggested to Najib that Malaysia make use of the six million hectares of oil palm plantation in Indonesia to breed cattle.

Whoa whoa, Uncle told me we had a similar f*up scheme with our oil palm plantation some years ago where one 'brainy' bloke conjured up a multi-million ringgit scheme to keep goats on the plantation. The reason? So that the palm oil will be naturally fertilized by goat poo, while the goats could be harvested like palm oil. Needless to say, it became a financial disaster.

Let’s tell those Indons to keep the bullsh*t and their bloody annual smoke haze to themselves, the latter of which is about to start in a few months time.