Bridge to Nowhere going Somewhere!

Aha! Now it becomes clear why the bridge to nowhere has been pursued by the government. Cunning buggers, and all the while we poor people have been wondering what’s going on?

Well, the man who let the meow meow out of the bag has been none other than DPM Najib. He advised (or choose any other verbs you think appropriate) Singapore that it should think long and hard (emphasis on ‘long & hard’ – you interpret it yourself) on the importance of being good buddy with Malaysia.

In reference to the stalled talks on the scenic bridge, Najib said: “Now is not the time to threaten each other or to think of the interests of a particular party or individual. This is the time to be united and to make the new bridge a symbol of cooperation between the two countries.”

Then he removed the velvet glove to show his mailed fist within, and pronounced: “It is our right, as a sovereign country, to continue with the bridge project. No one can deny us that right.” Indeed.

Acknowledging that negotiations are continuing, Najib added a bit of hastening pressure by saying: “But, technically, there is a time frame which both countries are aware of. I do not want to discuss it openly through the media.” But you just did!

Then he added the groin-squeezing crunch for Singapore by declaring that if Singapore fails to join up with the bridge, the bridge will wriggle and twist and turn until it'll join up with the existing causeway on Singapore’s side.

And when you add up what Humpty Dumpty had said earlier about knocking down the Malaysian side of the Causeway, it finally makes 2 and 2 into a 5.

So the Causeway will go, one way or another, while the bridge to nowhere will go somewhere. If the Sings refuses to play ball (or should it be LEGO), the new link between Singapore and Malaysia will be a half-Causeway on the Singapore side joining up with the half-bridge on the Malaysian side - a crazy hybrid connection but serving Malaysia’s strategic interests.

This has been what Najib meant by the technical time frame. In other words he was saying to the Sings that if you don't want to see the hybrid link, better join in the bridge-building game pretty pronto, or once we start the twists and turns to meet your half of the Causeway, it'll be by then too late.

Najib euphemised on the importance of the new bridge by reminding us of the current Causeway adversely affecting the environment through the pollution of the waterway - a bit of face-saving for the kiasu society. Then to sweeten the deal, he waxed eloquence on the beauty of the new bridge contributing to the economy and aesthetic values, presumably for both nations.

After that, I am sure the real reason would emerge, like a re-negotiation of the price of Malaysian-supplied water. The bonus of a military preferred bridge would of course remain under wraps, at least to the laity.

If Singapore chooses not to accept the inevitable fate of the Causeway, it can of course always launch an invasion and capture the reservoir. Somehow I reckon it won't.