Scene: Kaisifart and Ring Re Ring at an upmarket café, sipping latte and laughing away
K: Can you sort it out?
RRR: No worries one. Aya, taikoh, leave it to me, I’ll kow-tim it in a jiffy.
K: Like Ryan O’Neal scratching Ali’s back eh in that movie, you no
w scratch my back eh, hehehe.RRR: Provided you’re Ali. You know. Hehehe
K (smiling): Tiu lei – hey, I like this Chinese word you’ve taught me, but tell me, what is kow tim yee?
RRR (now wary): Er … it can mean a lot of things, depending on how you pronounced it or how the tones go – there are 7 tones in the Cantonese language, you know. But leave out that yee – just use kow-tim or as our Indon neighbours would say – beres (now anxious to drop the subject, and reminding himself not to use the kow-tim word again)
RRR: I'll say you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Beres lah! I’ll make you come out whiter than white.
One day later …
K: Tiu nia ma ke fulat, Rin-tin-tin, it’s not f… beres. Those bastards are howling for my blood, and even my own people are now acting ‘dunno’. Couldn’t you handle something simple? Where's your f-promise of whiter than white.
RRR (angry): Don’t call me Rin-tin-tin OK? I am not a dog.
K: Well, f… you, I’ll call you anything I want. You couldn’t even sort out a simple matter. You're lucky I call you an Alsatian instead of a Pekingese.
RRR (thinking of the future, decided to back off and cool K down): Look taikoh, it’s not so simple as you think. You have accused them of a serious sinister scheme, and I did try to ameliorate your accusation. But it's damn too f-ing hurtful to allude to them as unscrupulous scheming people. Afterall, they're suppose to be your allies, you know.
K: F-F-F… it’s just for internal consumption, don't they f-know that. What do I do now?
RRR: You’re complaining? Spare me a thought, man. Look, I have lost mucho face for your sake – those bastards have virtually shot me down. Just brushed me aside as if I’m nobody. I am in deep shit with them right now. I may have to go-see my papa.
K: C’mon, what’s the next step? Anyway I can slow-talk them? Anything? ... you know ........
RRR: Where do I begin ….....
At that moment the soft background music in the café played the theme song from 'Love Story', where love means never having to say one particular magic word:
Where do I begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do I start
(with apologies to Carl Sigman & Francis Lai for changing the gender in their lyrics)
This one is for mob1900 - thanks mate for your tip and inspiration.
KT, much as i like to read your blog, I am increasingly finding it painful to read the text. Yes it is physically painful, rather than logically painful! May I request that you use white or some other lighter background? :D
ReplyDeleteWhat! you don't like my colourful personality? ;-)
ReplyDeleteHi, KTemoc, just for some fun and games may I hijack your topic and continue your story:
ReplyDeleteAfter spending a fitful night tossing and turning in his bed pondering the problem, RRR was rewarded with a eureka moment. He wasted no time in calling K ...
K: Hello?
RRR (breathlessly): Hey, K, I think I may have the solution to your predicament!
K: Well, what is it? Spit it out, quick.
RRR: I suggest you throw a party and invite all these fellas who are wanting to set your pants on fire. Then after softening them up with lotsa good food and drinks you should suggest a karaoke session. So, you go up on stage, pick up the mic and start serenading them with that Elton John number about Something Seems To Be The Hardest Word. There, that ought to get you off the hook, whatdaya think?
Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteWhat do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And dah-dah seems to be the hardest word
;-)
I lurve your colourful personality, but the stark white against ominous black makes reading such a pain. now that the text is not bold and in other colours it is more bearable! ;p
ReplyDelete