Not much Ustazah. Just 31 Men

Not much Ustazah. Just 31 Men


28 Apr 2025 • 7:30 AM MYT


Kamran
A freelance content creator

Image credit: Facebook


A Malaysian religious officer recently shared a deeply troubling encounter involving a teenage girl who admitted to trading intimacy for mobile phone credit.


During a podcast hosted by Mingguan Wanita, Ustazah Nazirah Abu Bakar, an officer from the Department of Islamic Development Malaysia (JAKIM), recounted her experience at a rehabilitation program for teenagers struggling with behavioral challenges. Among the participants was a 14-year-old girl, referred to as Siti (a pseudonym), whose story left a lasting impact.


According to Ustazah Nazirah, Siti had been placed in the two-week program for running away from home, showing violent behavior toward her mother, and engaging in inappropriate relationships. When asked how many individuals she had been involved with, Siti responded casually, “Just 31,” and explained that she was willing to go through with it if the individuals provided mobile credit.


Ustazah Nazirah recalled. “She was only 14. I couldn’t imagine what her parents would feel if they heard this.”


The girl’s struggles extended beyond her actions outside the home. Siti also admitted to physically assaulting her mother — behavior she said she had witnessed her father do repeatedly. “She didn’t just hit her mother with her hands,” said Ustazah Nazirah. “She once threw a pestle and mortar at her. I couldn’t believe it.”


Reflecting on how times have changed, Ustazah Nazirah noted that previous generations, despite teenage rebellion, still had limits rooted in respect. Back then, they might leave the house upset, but they would come back quickly. Now, many kids leave and don’t return.


The case highlighted how exposure to abuse, neglect, and poor guidance can lead youths to make dangerous choices.


Ustazah Nazirah emphasized that stories like Siti’s are a wake-up call for society. Support systems, open communication, and parental involvement must be prioritized to guide today’s youth toward a better path.


Here are some general tips and how parents can approach such complex issues with empathy, discipline, and support:

1. Build a Safe, Open Communication Space

Before anything else, children need to feel heard, not judged. If a child can talk openly without fear of punishment or shame, they’re far less likely to hide dangerous behaviors. Parents should:


Have regular one-on-one conversations.


Avoid reacting harshly to confessions.


Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything bothering you lately?”

2. Strengthen the Home Environment

Children model what they see. If there’s violence, emotional neglect, or constant fighting at home, they may think that’s normal. Parents must:

Resolve conflicts calmly in front of children.


Avoid verbal or physical abuse.


Show love and respect consistently, both to the child and to each other.

3. Monitor Digital Activity Without Spying

Kids today live online. Without supervision, they can easily fall into harmful online interactions. Parents should:


Set clear boundaries for device use.


Talk openly about online safety, sexting, grooming, and peer pressure.


Use parental controls—but combine them with trust and honest conversations.

4. Educate on Values, Sex, and Consent

Avoiding conversations about sex doesn’t protect children — it makes them more vulnerable. Parents should:


Talk about relationships, boundaries, and consequences early and appropriately.


Teach self-worth, consent, and the difference between love, attention, and exploitation.


Include religious or moral guidance if it's part of the family's beliefs.

5. Seek Professional Help When Needed

If a child is violent, sexually active at a young age, or deeply troubled, professional support is essential. Parents should not try to handle everything alone. They can:

Reach out to counselors, therapists, or family psychologists.


Consult school authorities or trusted community leaders.


Look into structured intervention programs like the one mentioned in the story.

6. Don’t Give Up — Rebuilding Takes Time

Even if things have gone wrong, change is possible. The key is consistency. Children need to see that:


Their parents are not perfect, but they care.


They are loved, even when they’ve made mistakes.


Change is hard, but they won’t face it alone.