2 Knights & a Sweet Sexy Salsa Queen

In the chess domain, two world’s champions fought it out, not over the chess board, but with fisticuffs. And it’s all over another chess champion.

British chess grandmaster Danny Gormally, world’s No 6, punched Armenian Levon Aronian, world’s No 3, when he saw the latter dancing with his (so he thought) girlfriend, Arianne Caoili, the teenage Australian chess champion.

Caoili has been dubbed the ‘Anna Kournikova’ of chess. Born of a Dutch mum and Filipino dad, she’s really scrumptious, and I don’t blame Gormally for losing it when he saw his belle dancing the sexy salsa with Levon in a Turin nightclub during the World Chess Olympiad.

Gormally had been seeing Caoili and emailing her regularly, thinking he has check-mated his Filipino-Dutch Queen, but he hasn’t reckoned on a castling move which saw the Armenian Knight gyrating his pelvis against those of sweet sexy Caoili.

Zugwang - Castles toppled, Bishops diagonalised, Pawns hentak-kaki (marching on the spot), the King farted, Gormally bashed Aronian!

And the Queen? Caoili’s mum said that her daughter was totally surprised when Gormally punched Aronian.

She said: "She's salsa crazy and was probably dancing salsa and looking a bit sexy and that's why Gormally got upset. It could be jealousy or it could be that he was just a bit drunk and for whatever reason [he] decided to punch Aronian who happens to be the superstar and god-like figure in Armenia. Arianne was a bit scared and shocked and was wondering what was going on.''

But mum confessed that her daughter has become an ‘item’ with the superstar Armenian at the moment because he was such a 'lovely gentleman', which may explain why the Briton lost his cool for which his countrymen have been renown for.

After the punchup, Gormally left the Olympiad early of his own volition. He failed to deal with the Armenian's surprised en passe. He may face disciplinary action from the game's ruling body for the incident, which has sparked a feud between the English and Armenian teams.

Checkmate! Stalemate & oo la la Hot-mate!

Hey, come to think of it, I used to play draughts (with old bottle caps); besides I have been noted as a pathetic Pawn in the feminine world – do you think I could interest Caoili?