Messages from Osama bin Laden (2)

Carrying on from Messages from Osama bin Laden (1), as published by Verso we get more of Osama’s words, but this time with some double talking.

This bloke who has been condemned worldwide for killing 3000 innocent civilians in September 2001 had the brazen nerve to say that killing the innocent is wrong. He must be living deep in a cave in Pakistan’s border region, for hasn’t he heard of what had happened in Iraq, Egypt, Jordan, Pakistan and Indonesia, all Islamic or Muslim-dominated nations?

However, he affirmed that there is a global conflict underway between the umma, or Muslim community, and unbelievers. I would like to correct him, by declaring that there is a religious slaughter among the umma, for we see Islamist militants killing other Muslims, in fact more than they have killed non-believers.

Now here’s the cheeky bit, or should we say, utter arrogance. Osama will accept the surrender of the United States of America but only if the American nation fulfils the following 10 points:

(1) convert to Islam - I wonder what Ayatollah Pat Robertson will say?

(2) ditch its constitution

(3) abolish banks (what about ATMs?)

(4) jail homosexuals - careful there, as Pat Robertson may agree

(5) ban alcoholic drinks (KTemoc objects)

(6) ban gambling

(7) bar women from appearing in the press (stuff like photos or in ads) (KTemoc objects)

(8) bar women from serving passengers, visitors and strangers (KTemoc objects)

(9) stop US oppression, lies, immorality and debauchery that has spread among their people

and the best one,

(10) sign the Kyoto climate change treaty (KTemoc supports)

;-)