Political defections - a letter to a future PM

Dodgee Con-Sultan Agri-Solutions
916, Jalan Katakpuroo
Taman Chooi Kay
Pulau Pinang

Kepada:
Yang Amat Berhormat
Datuk Seri Alvis Isley

My dear dear Yang Sangat Amat Berhormat Datuk Seri,

I cannot tell you how much I admire your reformasi innovation when I see the following headlines in Malaysiakini:

(1) Four Negeri BN reps to defect 'real soon', claims PKR

(2) Perak: Umno state rep defects to PKR

You and you alone, as to be expected, have brought about a new Renaissance in Asian politics precisely at a time when it is needed in the wake of the global economic depression.

Your farsightedness on the political process astounds me as to its contemporary relevance. Just imagine a whole new Malaysian political system of electoral representation that does not require any more election, no, none whatsoever as our robust 2-party system engages in a continuous swap of MP and ADUNs, unless the rare and terribly inconvenient occasion of death of a MP or ADUN breaks the chain of a steady stream of political defections.

With such a concept (mutually agreed to by both parties) we Malaysians can do away with general or state elections, yet keep our system of political representatives from each party refreshed, rejunevated and recharged with continuous changing charming faces, and best of all, cost free.

I marvel at your amazing political concept where there will be monumental savings in election funding and the associated purchase of electioneering paraphernalia and supporters expenses. All these unnecessary expenditure could be more profitably invested for the rakyat’s benefits.

Such a marvellous system of mutual changes of MPs and ADUN ensures that on one day your astonishing party leads either the Federal or State government, whilst on the next, it may become His Majesty’s loyal Opposition, democracy at its best, though of course I need to state my confidence that you will be the Prime Minister of this great nation of ours.

I want to put on record my utmost loyalty to your esteemed leadership.

Yang běnar,

Dodgee Dimsum

p/s
Incidentally, as part of our agricultural reforms (oh, how I love this word ‘reformasi’) may I interest you in my agri-consultancy company Dodgee Ribbit Puroo. We hold the internationally registered patent for genetically enhanced Conraua goliath, guaranteed to provide our rakyat with the necessary protein requirement during festivities, given the unreliability in the supply of traditional meat like beef, mutton and camel steaks in the face of the ever present threat of mad cow disease, foot & mouth disease, etc.

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Dodgee Con-Sultan Agri-Solutions
916, Jalan Katakpuroo
Taman Chooi Kay
Pulau Pinang

Kepada:
Yang Amat Berhormat
Datuk Nar Jee Razy


My dear dear Yang Sangat Amat Berhormat Datuk,

I cannot tell you how much I admire your powerful fight-back innovation when I see the following headlines in Malaysiakini:

(1) PM: Pakatan reps to join us

(2) 2 Perak excos 'missing', PKR fears defection

You and you alone, as to be expected, have brought about a new sophisticated but quiet dynamic leadership in Asian politics precisely at a time when it is needed in the wake of the global economic depression.

Your farsightedness on the political process astounds me as to its contemporary relevance. Just imagine a whole new Malaysian political system of electoral representation that does not require any more election, no, none whatsoever as our robust 2-party system engages in a continuous swap of MP and ADUNs, unless the rare and terribly inconvenient occasion of death of a MP or ADUN breaks the chain of a steady stream of political defections.

With such a concept (mutually agreed to by both parties) we Malaysians can do away with general or state elections, yet keep our system of political representatives from each party refreshed, rejunevated and recharged with continuous changing charming faces, and best of all, cost free.

I marvel at your amazing political concept where there will be monumental savings in election funding and the associated purchase of electioneering paraphernalia and supporters expenses. All these unnecessary expenditure could be more profitably invested for the rakyat’s benefits.

Such a marvellous system of mutual changes of MPs and ADUN ensures that on one day your astonishing party leads either the Federal or State government, whilst on the next, it may become His Majesty’s loyal Opposition, democracy at its best, though of course I need to state my confidence that you will be the Prime Minister of this great nation of ours.

I want to put on record my utmost loyalty to your esteemed leadership.

Yang běnar,

Dodgee Dimsum

p/s
Incidentally, as part of our agricultural growth (oh, how I love this word ‘growth’) may I interest you in my agri-consultancy company Dodgee Ribbit Puroo. We hold the internationally registered patent for genetically enhanced Conraua Goliath, guaranteed to provide our rakyat with the necessary protein requirement during festivities, given the unreliability in the supply of traditional meat like beef, mutton and camel steaks in the face of the ever present threat of mad cow disease, foot & mouth disease, etc.

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The Yum-Cha Chronicles:
(1) Apology - A letter to the minister
(2) Bloggers - A letter to the ministry
(3) Drama queens & kings wanted
(4) May 13 Book - a letter to the minister
(5) Appreciation - a letter to the minister
(6) Goblok to Golek - a letter to the minister
(7) MGR-ish makeover - a letter to a minister
(8) Bahasa Mělayu - a letter to Yang Běrhormat
(9) 'Convincibility' - A letter to Yang Amat Berhormat