Saturday, November 29, 2014

UMNO's problem

I've been away in a dark dark continent, without Internet access, looking for a cure for Ebola and also, as a humanitarian gesture, a remedy for Monsterball's long suffering erectile dysfunction, known to us colloquially as his Hatyai Hardluck Hangdown, wakakaka.

perennial perpetual powerless problem

returned to see the usual brouhaha following the recent UMNO AGM, wakakaka. Here's the real reason or reasons for UMNO's feral behaviour:

Yo I'm the PM!
Hello there, anyone listening? Dad?

Dad wants me to be be PM
I'm like Ah Jib Gor, reluctantly thrust into politics by our fathers' legacies
I want my Mummy

I want to be PM
And like Mahathir I am going to thrust myself into it and not wait for fate or legacy to do so for me

Hey man, I have the pedigree, legacy and the MOUTH to be PM

I will be PM, Mahathir notwithstanding
The other candidates just don't have my wiliness, intellectual capacity and most important of all, my looks

But what about me? After all I was once PM
Eh? Okay then, acting PM
What? Acting PM just like Ling Liong Sik? F* you!
I have the intellect, know-how, looks, charm, glib-tongue etc especially the 'etc'  to be PM, except currently the right 'connection', UMNO connection that is
I may not be UMNO now but where there's a will there'll be a way

Aiyoyo, it seems that UMNO, once headed by luminaries such as Tunku, Razak, Hussein, Mahathir and a political party respected by many both at home and abroad, is currently suffering from the same erectile dysfunction that Monsterball is subjected to.

It explains why UMNO is as hysterically feral as Monsterball has been, wakakaka.


  1. Boss, Uncle Monty's in a place where his limp dick is the least of his problems. The current Monsterball is an imposter. Hehehe.

  2. Kaytee,very very lucky for you that the "MONSTER" did not take a bite or gobble up at yours you know what,when you were visiting him up the Hadyai mountains.Hehehe.

    1. he's toothless lah, wakakaka

    2. Yes, he might be toothless but if memory serves right, tokio_rain did mention on his dentures.....denture's bite is equally sakit lah

      Btw....are we running out of clean men (or women) of integrity to run for the seat of PM ? The above usual suspects sangat menyampahkan !

  3. Some of the news items to keep you entertained, While you were away:

    Umno Youth: Human Resources Minister should always be Malay

    Questioning road name changes, proof Malay rights challenged, says Khairy

    Umno man believes Penang Chinese strong due to illegal trade

    Opposition jealous of 1MDB’s success, says Kelantan Umno

    'Chinese burned Quran', Mashitah turns up heat.

    Datuk Seri Shahrizat : “Are there Chinese, Indians or any other non-Malays being oppressed, dying of starvation, unable to accumulate wealth, being denied the opportunity to do business or cannot find jobs?"

    1. You've left out an important one, namely, the Wicked Witch of Zombieland's vicious and unprovoked attack on the lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, so as to curry favour with the conservatives.

      She was cynically doing this being aware that these groups of people are the downtrodden, bullied, disenfranchised and voiceless ones who are not able to defend themselves (and not allowed to because they will be shouted down), and so she can attack them with overflowing venom and with impunity.

  4. One more news item for your entertainment:

    Najib : "... Dia kata blogger, kadang-kadang tembak kita. Mana ada! Friendly fire is not friendly. Blogger kita, dia cari makan dengan siapa? Pergilah tembak pembangkang! Itu cara kita untuk menang dalam peperangan. Jangan berperang sesama sendiri. Tidak masuk akal. Bangang namanya! Saya belajar perkataan daripada isteri saya (bahasa minang)..."

    1. He he he.....and our friendly-fire pro Umno Kadir Jasin, who without a doubt is
      aligned to our grande 'olde man, lambasted back today........." first time an Umno leader had openly declared that the party hired bloggers to write for them."

      Alamak.....macam orang tak tau....every body and his dog knows this fact lah longtime.....Umno bloggers and cybertroopers are paid to spin, provoke and outright lie. Pergi jahanam lah the whole bunch of them....clear this nation of these lousy parasites and let the fresh air in.

  5. Good grief, you disappeared for almost a month with nary a word of explanation, leaving KTemoc Konsiders' addicts without their daily fix and in limbo, and then suddenly reappear with a startling obsession with monsterball's incapacity -- well, that's really weird behaviour on your part aside from inflicting cruel and undeserved punishment on the legion of your fans!!!

    Anyway, tokio_rain's assertion that someone has gone on to a better place sounds believable.

    1. my tongue-in-cheek barbs are directed against the current Monsterball (if he is Mark II or for that matter, Mark I) for his naughty comments wakakaka

  6. Azmin father of all hyporcrites for kidex turnaround so says kt
    Najib turnaorund on sedition act what say u?
    Hey kt your softspot for najib is well documented
    Hope it wont go so soft like monstreball ed hor

  7. the gaffe guy who know's8:43 am, December 01, 2014

    While Umno and Monsterball may have erectile dysfuntion,Monsterball sure got huge extra large balls.

  8. Ask tokio rain.He and the monster are old buddies and know that the monster is a real tiger and does not need 'Viagra' or tongkat Ali.

    1. I say bruno. Dont be like that ley. You n monster not old buddies meh? Remember how he asked you to hold the fort while he go wash his dentures? Hehehe.

  9. Anon 6:14
    Whether it is Azmin,Najib,Anwar or other hypocrites,Monsterball is still my pick.Ask KT,he can vouch for it.

  10. No matter how erectile dysfuntion Umno/BN is,PR will be mince meat and get decimated come GE14.One do not need to be a rocket scientist to figure it up.I have high hopes for PR in GE13,but they fucked up big time.Manmanlai,Rafizi,LGE,Tony Pua are all screwups.Fuck them KAU KAU.

  11. Azmin was called Father of all Hypocrites for his Kidex decision.
    Not a squeak about Najib's humongous Sedition Act U-turn, overturning a GE13 commitment.

    Now we know who is the paymaster.....hope the "Hell Notes" are worth it...

    1. Now I wonder who had criticized Khalid Ibrahim for his Kidex and various other issues but now does the same? wakakaka

  12. umno's problem or umno is the problem? or umno is never a problem (apa apa pada nama) but its leaders are the problem.