Sunday, October 30, 2011

Unconstitutional royal intrusions

I have dined with kings, I've been offered wings. And I've never been too impressed - Bob Dylan


I am more embarrassed than someone who claims he might be embarrassed.

It’s one thing for BN to accuse Pakatan politicians or pro-Pakatan supporters of lese majeste or being rude or unsavoury to royalty, but it’s another for constitutional monarchies to do that.

Has anyone ever heard or read of Queen Elizabeth chiding her PM, any politician or members of the public?

Wait, we needn’t go that far to a white man’s country. Let’s look at our neighbour Thailand. Her King (not the Crown Prince) is very much loved and revered monarch. Thais are the most ardent monarchists in the world.

And you may ask why?

Only once has the Thai King ever publicly taken side, even then in a subtle but effective manner, and for the good of the public.

Wikipedia has this to say:

In 1992, Bhumibol played a key role in Thailand's transition to a democratic system. A coup on 23 February 1991 returned Thailand back under military dictatorship. After a general election in 1992, the majority parties invited General Suchinda Kraprayoon, a leader of the coup group, to be the Prime Minister. This caused much dissent, which escalated into demonstrations that led to a large number of deaths when the military was brought in to control the protesters. The situation became increasingly critical as police and military forces clashed with the protesters. Violence and riot spread out in many areas of the capital with rumour on the rift among armed forces.

Amidst the fear of civil war, Bhumibol intervened. He summoned Suchinda and the leader of the pro-democracy movement, retired Major General Chamlong Srimuang, to a televised audience, urged them to find a peaceful resolution. At the height of the crisis, the sight of both men appearing together on their knees (in accordance with royal protocol) made a strong impression on the nation, and led to Suchinda's resignation soon afterwards.

It was one of the few occasions in which Bhumibol directly and publicly intervened in a political conflict. A general election was held shortly afterward, leading to a civilian government

Mind, when royalty embarrassed BN in Perlis and Terengganu in 2008, Pakatan supporters were being stupidly and prematurely silly in rejoicing at the unconstitutional intrusions (I blogged against those royal interference against the BN's choice of MBs - see below), but when the tables were turned in Perak, and lately in Selangor and Johor (admittedly suspected as at the instigation of BN), the laughs were on the other side.

Regardless of whether the unconstitutional royal intrusions were at the expense of BN or Pakatan, I have never rejoiced but would only lament.

And which has been why I have always reminded people that whatever we might think of Dr Mahathir, he did one really damn good thing during his premiership - he de-fanged the royalty. Bravo!

Related:
(1) Dangerous euphoria over 'political' royalty
(2) Rulers no 'Silver Bullet'
(3) Lim Kit Siang opened Royal Pandora Box?
(4) Royalty threatens constitutional crisis?
(5) The dangers of royal political activism
(6) Supremacy of the people's voice in democracy
(7) Bismarck: The king reigns but does not govern
(8) Dr Wan Azizah, rethink your promise of legal immunity for royalty!
(9) Tainted silver ain't no silver bullet

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Putrajaya's 'dunno!'

Q: Why is Professor Aziz Bari being investigated for lèse majesté for stating the Sultan of Selangor had intervened in an ‘unusual and inconsistent’ manner over the Jais intrusive raid of DUMC, when by humongous contrast, an UMNO person had sneeringly insulted Malaysian royalty contemptuously with the following words:

"How can we continue to uphold rulers who are known to be robbers, adulterers, drunkards and kaki pukul (thugs)?" [...]

"They (the rulers) must be made to realize that they do not own this country. They are not Superman but placed on their thrones by the people. "The real power did not lie with them, but with us - the representatives of the people."

M: I dunno anything about this, I mean the second case! But what I do know is I can charge you for sedition.

Q: Then, if there is no evidence to charge DUMC for allegedly proselytizing Muslims, how can JAIS barging into DUMC’s function be considered as justified?

M: I dunno anything about this! But let me say this again, I know I can charge you for sedition.

Q: Minister, explain the report that 240 foreigners were taken in buses to a resort near Putrajaya and given Malaysian citizenships.

HM (stroking his keris): I dunno anything about this!

Q: OK then, explain how a Bangladesh Prime Minister’s Office unit website has claimed that its citizens working in Malaysia have been asked to vote for the ruling Barisan Nasional government?

HM (about to draw his keris): I dunno anything about this!

Q: Why haven’t legal actions being taken against the 3 MACC officers whom the RCI reported as having driven Teoh Beng Hock to suicide?

M (representing someone): He dunno anything about this! He was in Mecca during the imbroglio.

Q: Minister, explain the huge discrepancy between the price of RM1.7 billion paid by DRB-Hicom for the APC and the RM7.65 biliion paid subsuently by Min Def for the same goods?

DM (from inside a APC): I dunno anything about this! But I want to remind everyone I’m the most patriotic Malaysian.

Q: Why wasn’t action taken against 10 errant contractors, who were awarded contracts by the Defence Ministry worth RM76 million, for their work delays despite being notified by the Auditor-General’s Office, and why were their contracts instead extended for an additional 6 months?

DM (now in another APC): I dunno anything about this! But I wish I’m in my submarine right now.

Q: Minister, are you denying that one of your family has been involved in the contract for the biometric system for voters?

[Grunts … then after long silence as if he was overworking his poor mind for an answer ... to deny ...]: I dunno anything about this!

Q: The World Bank has suspended financing of a RM9 billion Padma bridge in Bangladesh because of corruption in the bidding process; please explain why Malaysia has offered to finance the project?

Ex-M (firming down on his topi): Dei, I dunno anything about this!

Q: What is your opinion on the effect on Form 4 English-medium students when the government abolishes the PPSMI next year.

M (toothpick in mouth after a bah-kut-teh meal, mumbles): I dunno anything about this! But DPM promises there will be a ‘soft landing’.

Q: Why was a trading company paid RM9,805 for Tupperwares worth only RM4,221, and the PM Department accepted the trading company’s claim of that extra RM5,584 as transportation cost? RM5,584 as transportation cost for RM4,221 worth of Tupperware? Were the Tupperwares as big and heavy as Ayah Pin’s kettle?

M (drinking tea from a Noritake Bone China cup): I dunno anything about this!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Muhyiddin Doctrine

The Malaysian Insider - Muhyiddin: Guan Eng’s denial of sexual harassment by son ‘not enough’.

Muhyiddin Yassin has introduced a new legislative doctrine, of course only for DAP people, namely:

“THE ACCUSED IS GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT”

... while the irresponsible accusers get away scot free, with Rais Yatim's department pathetically acting dunno.

In Malaysiakini Muhyiddin was reported saying:

“Don’t blame anybody. However, it is the tendency of the opposition and Pakatan. When their have their own problems, they start to blame Umno.”

“However, if there is a fault, we have to find out what is the main cause.”


This man is either a moron or deliberately acting dunno that it had been UMNO bloggers like Papagomo and UMNO Gelugor’s Division Chairperson, Dr Novandri Hasan Basri, who fabricated the irresponsible shameful lies about Lim Guan Eng’s son. And don't forget too, our dear Oxford-graduate Khairy Jamaluddin had joined in with his pathetic tweet.

If we don't blame UMNO people, who then do we blame?

As for calling on Lim GE to report, who to report to, knowing full well that the police and Rais Yatim's department will act dunno too, though they were pretty f* fast in taking action against non-BN people like Prof Abdul Aziz Bari.

Such is sheer evidence of UMNO's insistent incessant incredulous attack on the DAP, reflected by Muhyiddin's shameful sickening statement, knowing that the police and media regulator will keep mum and take no action.

Mind you, a couple of Chinese bloggers also (independently) believe in the Muhyiddin Doctrine whenever DAP people, especially their principal target Lim Guan Eng, are involved.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Village memories (1)

In my previous post 'How abolishment of PPSMI will affect you, by masterwordsmith', one Anon commented:

"... Those teachers who tried to explain their maths and Science lessons using English more often than not would find their rural students blinking away like stars. It is a case of 'chicken and duck talk'.”

Coincidentally, I have just
Village memories (1) - ducks over at my other blog KTemoc Kongsamkok.

It’s all about 'chicken and duck talk' wakakaka.

Have a look as there'll be more birds than just chooks and ducks, yup, the species of birds that kaytee loves wakakaka.

How abolishment of PPSMI will affect you, by masterwordsmith

From the blog of masterwordsmith.

********************************

Dear Students, Parents and Malaysians,

MALAYSIANS APPEAL TO THE GOVERNMENT FOR THE OPTION TO LEARN SCIENCE AND MATHEMATICS IN ENGLISH (RETAIN PPSMI AS AN OPTION).

You would have heard by now that the teaching and learning of Science and Mathematics in English (better known as PPSMI) will be abolished in January 2012. The Parent Action Group for Education Malaysia (PAGE) has been in the forefront to champion the cause to maintain the policy for those who wish their children to learn these two (2) subjects in its lingua franca that is English.

Here is how the abolishment of this policy is going to affect you.

*******************************

For more of this important message ... read his post at masterwordsmith - unplugged.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

UiTM going for Nobel Prize

Yesterday I posted a depressing (for us Malaysians) Supremacists nowhere in top 400, where I lamented the most embarrassing fact that no Malaysian university had been ranked among the world’s top 400 universities, considering our UM was once one of the most lustrous pearls in Asian academic circle.

By contrast, that puny perspicacious pimple on China’s bottom, Hong Kong, has 2 among the Top 100 and a further 2 in the next 100 Best.

Hong Kong 4 – Malaysia 0.

Malu lah!

But wait wait – Oh Holy Kerbau, today I read the best news ever, c'est vraiment magnifique, ho liao loh, bloody bagus one, absolutely Boleh!

Bernama reports (and picked up by
The Star) that:

Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM) is aiming to produce the first Malay to win the Nobel Prize, through guidance and advice from renowned Pakistani scientist Prof Dr Atta-ur-Rahman.

Vice-chancellor Datuk Prof Dr Sahol Hamid Abu Bakar said with Dr Atta-ur-Rahman's expertise, the university would be able to achieve the target through scientific research and development.


Obviously it’s heartening news by Bernama, though I cannot help but wonder whether it has been prompted by my lamentations in yesterday’s post? Wakakaka.

But nonetheless, well aspired, Datuk Prof Dr Sahol Hamid Abu Bakar. Your vision certainly justifies your appointment as UiTM’s VC in 2010. Unlike your UM colleague, Prof Ghauth Jasmon who only aims to have UM within the top 100 universities in the world by 2015 and reaching the top 50 by the year 2020, you have boldly go where no Malaysian has gone before, by declaring a quark-ish quartile quantum leap into excellence and world fame for UiTM.

F* those university rankings. Now that’s real thinking out of the box. It’s worthy of Edward de Bono.

That’s the sort of Boleh attitude former PM Dr Mahathir spent billions and billions of ringgit on, as well as set up the Biro TataNegara (BTN), to nurture, nourish and (sometimes or most times) nurse his most favourite people into developing and possessing.

You would have undoubtedly made him proud today with your no-nonsense, no bloody f* around with mere sap sap suoi (trifling) bull like getting into the World’s Top 400 Ranked Universities, as your more conservative colleague at UM is doing – yea man, you sure go straight for the jugular of the ultimate excellence.

An analogy to your amazing aerodonetical aspiration for UiTM would be akin to abandoning the silly study of possible FTL (faster than light speed) technology and instead, jumping into (excuse the science fiction pun) the study of spacetime travel through Schwarzschild wormholes, yup man, to travel beyond ‘Known Space’, perhaps to the Andromeda Galaxy, a staggering 2.5 million light years away, but with worm-hole spacetime travelling technology, a mere teh-tarik (or roti canai) hyperspace jump away, as Malaysia's first cosmonaut would describe it.

But in the meantime, I wonder if we can persuade UiTM to do anything to help our brilliant FTL-thinking UMNO bloggers like papagomo and Dr Novandri Hasan Basri, the UMNO Gelugor Division Chief, who were caught in a collapsing Schwarzschild wormhole of their own making wakakaka.

Hmmm, I wonder which Malaysian university Dr Novandri Hasan Basri graduated from? UiTM?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Supremacists nowhere in top 400

The Malaysian Insider - Falling UM standards sign of NEP failure, says Anwar.

Leaving Anwar Ibrahim aside wakakaka, personally I have nothing against educational affirmative actions for bumiputeras. In fact I support its true objectives and genuinely deserved recipients. But it should be affirmative actions that do not lower schools or universities’ standards.

Good affirmative actions should be, for example, providing to genuinely deserving recipients the best possible teachers/lecturers money can employ, extra tuition, top class facilities, perhaps longer terms in the students’ educational courses, good nutritional food, medical care, health support etc.

Instead, our Education authorities don’t believe in doing the hard yards, namely to raise bumiputera standards to world standards, but want results el pronto, even if the results won’t be substantive and only pseudo-achievements, basically handy ‘statistics’ to push around, like for example, University A has graduated 1,001 bumi medical doctors while University B has graduated 2,999 Malay PhDs ... but to what standards(?) and where any questioning of the program would be shouted at as anti-Malay!

How do they go about achieving such pseudo self-cheating results?

By lowering the standards, of course.

Meanwhile, over at the Centre for Policy Initiatives website, Pak Sako wrote about
Freeing the Malays and Muslims from religious mind control, where he informed us that the current Malay-Muslim leaders sells the importance of racial and religious supremacy to the Malays-Muslims.

He explained: A set of underlying reasons drive these mentalities. Political motives aside, there is a historical fear of disenfranchisement; a concept of entitlement as an exclusive birthright; envy; low self-esteem; a craving for a source of self-pride; a fear of the new or alien; meekness; and narrow-mindedness.

And he mention the irony that: Supremacism is sold as the cure-all. But it only adds to the problem.

Indeed!

He then showed that far important issues like: Closing the gap with South Korea or Singapore at the top of quality-of-life indicators such as the UN Human Development Index is a minor national concern.

And sarcastically mentioned that those Malay-Muslim leaders leaders (presumably from UMNO):
… are prouder to have been ranked by the Pew Forum’s Government Restriction Index alongside Saudi Arabia and Iran as world champions in constricting religious freedoms and other civil rights.

Thus, has it been any wonder that with such self-cheating, no Malaysian university was placed among the top 400 universities listed by The Times Higher Education World University Rankings 2011 -2012?

Alas, according to above TMI article, Higher Education Ministry deputy secretary general Rohani Abdullah in response to the dismal rankings of our tertiary institutions said the things I don’t want to hear, that today Malaysia’s universities are not as highly ranked as other countries as the nation’s priorities do not match that of ranking agencies. She said that Malaysia was still struggling with providing access to higher education which made it a higher priority.

Pathetic excuse!

In fact Pak Sako stated:
There is no commensurate effort to unleash the Malay mind and encourage the Malay person to seize the day, excel, question, take charge, propose or dissent. Political leaders and the religious bureaucracy do not favour this; an empowered people puts at stake their political influence and economic privilege.

The outcome is a large class of Malays that is averse to thinking, recoils from taking responsibility and content with following instructions. Ennui, the deep weariness and dissatisfaction stemming from mindless satiety and boredom, is a common affliction.

It is to this oppressive vacuity that the non-Malays are portrayed as ‘threats’.


Now, let’s leave aside universities of mighty Japan, emerging giant China, and technologically advanced South Korea, and look at the small red dot south of us otherwise known as Singapore (population 5 million?) and that pimple on China’s bottom, Hong Kong, yes, an island we used to look down upon (population 7 million, where 0.3 of which are Filipino maids wakakaka).

The Times Higher Education World University Rankings 2011 -2012 indicates that among the top 100 in the World:

• No 34 is University of Hong Kong
• No 40 is Singapore National University
• No 62 is Hong Kong University of Science & Technology

while at its next 100 top universities (ranking No 101 to 200):

• No 151 is Chinese University of Hong Kong
• No 169 is Singapore’s Nanyang Technological University
• No 193 is City University of Hong Kong

Oh boy, that Chinese ‘pimple’ has 4 universities in the top 200, 2 among the top 100 and another 2 in the next 100, while Singapore has 2, one in each succeeding 100 best. Mana universiti-universiti Malaysia?

Next, there is the QS World University Rankings 2011/2012.

QS had previously published the rankings together with The Times as a joint effort from 2004 to 2009, before they ended their collaboration in 2010. QS retained the original ranking methodology while The Times went on to develop a new one.

The following is the
QS ranking for 2011/2012:

• No 22 is the University of Hong Kong
• No 28 is University of Singapore
• No 37 is Chinese University of Hong Kong
• No 40 is Hong Kong University of Science & Technology
• No 58 is Singapore’s Nanyang Technological University
• No 110 is City University of Hong Kong
• No 177 is Hong Hong’s Polytechnic University

This time Hong Kong has 5 among the top 200, with 3 among the 100 Best, while that red dot has 2 in the top 100.
Mana universiti-universiti Malaysia?

Food for thought – now, who’s supreme?

In the end, Pak Sako proposed a blueprint to:
motivate the Malays to take control of the wheels of their destiny. The immediate implications are for the Malays to free themselves from religious programming and assert their authority from the grassroots upward.

The prospect may be scary. But the old way of being led by the nose is destructive. The Malays should no longer remain as feudalistic subjects of the political and religious elite. The elite owe the Malays that dignity.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Severe Sever the ethnic & religion umbilical cords

Mariam Mohktar wrote a piece in Malaysiakini titled Hindraf-Pakatan marriage of convenience? where she asked:

Should we wait another 54 years before we are given another golden opportunity to show unity and vote for change?

As we approach the final lap in the race towards Putrajaya, Pakatan Rakyat and Hindraf are having a lover’s tiff. Hindraf appears to be doing all the wooing whilst Pakatan is playing hard to get.


Mariam seems to have forgotten that Hindraf in the person of the Great Uthayakumar went around badmouthing and threatening Pakatan, demanding 15 federal seats and a larger batch of State seats from the coalition.

Mariam seems to have forgotten that Hindraf demanded these seats from Pakatan instead of BN, telling us Hindraf has been anti Pakatan rather than anti BN.

So, it’s nonsense to say Hindraf has been doing all the wooing, though it’s correct to say that Pakatan has had enough of the Hindraf threats to now justifiably ignore the Great Uthayakumar.

I don’t support political parties based on ethnicity or religion (sorry PAS), because such organizations marginalize (deliberately or unwittingly) the ‘nons’, whether the ‘nons’ are Malays, Chinese, Indians, etc or religion-wise, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus etc.

A recent classic example has been seen in PAS non-Muslim supporters now threatening to leave PAS because of Pak Haji Nik Aziz's arrogant intention to implement hudud in Kelantan regardless of the consequences to the adhesiveness of Pakatan.

Quite frankly, the worst in this regard have been PAS and UMNO, both of which, whenever the situations suit their political interests, would swing from being religious parties to being ethnic nationalists. The former couldn't make up its mind, allowing their true colours to emerge from time to time, while the latter has unscrupulously exploited the theme of the day.

Once upon a time, during the struggle for independence from colonial Britain, perhaps such ethnic-based organizations had their roles in bringing various ethnic groups together for a common cause, and subsequently to fuse their followers into a Malayan society. But their use-by dates are definitely over.

There shouldn’t be any more Hindraf, MIC, MCA, UMNO, PAS anymore. Much as I have been disappointed with Gerakan at least it has the option of being the multi-ethnic organization it used to be. Likewise with PKR, DAP, PPP, PSM, PRM and wakakaka PCM.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

To ABU or not to ABU?

There have been lots of promotion on the political mantra ABU (Anyone But UMNO). I believe this is dangerous not only for proper democratic process (thinking) but also limiting our carefully considered choices of good parliamentary candidates.

Just don't f* expect me to act like mindless Myrmidons!

Okay, there’s no denying UMNO is generally detested as an organization for its overtly racist propaganda, polemics and policies and its sheer sleazy sickening levels of corruption. But that does not mean everyone in UMNO is to be detested, like, for example, Ku Li.

In the next Selangor State Election, if I am a voter in the Gombak Setia constituency, I will in fact be thinking twice, nay, more times than just that, before I would even consider voting for Dr Hasan Mohamed Ali, the pro PAS-UMNO unity bloke who has, for non Muslims, a very intrusive islamic-inclined intent. Likewise with those PAS-PKR pollies obsessed with shafting hudud down our secular throats.

It doesn’t mean I will go ABH (Anyone But Hasan) but certainly I'd be regarding him as last on my list of preferred candidates. I’ll be looking very carefully and with great interests at the credentials of his opponents.

What about Mansur Othman then, the PKR bloke who is Deputy Chief Minister I of Penang, and who shamefully played on Malay fears (just like UMNO) by urging the state Malays to vote for PKR to ensure they have a significant representative voice in the Penang government …

… and in that process, declared very directly and effectively that PKR is a Malay party (not unlike its UMNO daddy), and thus not the multi-ethnic organization it claims to be, just in the same way as reformasi (political reforms) has never been its true ideology …

… and shame on those mute PKR non-Malay pollies like Tian Chua, Eli Wong & Sivarasa Rasiah, and their non-Malay PKR supporters for acting dunno about such a publicly voiced radical (nay, diametrically opposite) PKR policy. What's then the difference between them and those MCA/Gerakan/MIC sycophants like Liow ('my beloved PM') Tiong LIE, Koh TK and those must-I-come gang?

However, I’m prepared, just this once, to give the benefit of the doubt to Mansur, that he was pathetically posturing politically to pre-empt DAP’s spread into the heartland, but let me say, he was cutting it too f* thinly for our patience and acceptance.

But Dr Hasan Mohamed Ali? No way Jose, unless UMNO’s candidate is the absolute pits, more unacceptable that Hasan is.

So, f* ABU because in some cases, the BAU (stench) in Pakatan may be far too much to bear (to ABU), unless Pakatan takes precautions to UBA-h candidates like Hasan Ali and a few others.

I presume we have minds of our own, don't we? I certainly hope so.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Not a shadow of the shadow cabinet

A year ago, on 04 Oct 2010, I posted Shadow Cabinet where I wrote:

Pakatan Rakyat presents itself to the Malaysian voters as the alternative government in waiting, yet it has been decidedly evasive about its alternative leadership in government, namely the shadow cabinet, giving mealy-mouthed excuses why it hasn’t ... or more correctly, won’t, can't, dare not!

The real answer why it hasn’t done so is the coalition fears the component parties won’t be able to agree to a distribution of ministerial portfolios.

My question to them is, if you can’t now, how would you be able to when you win the next general election?

And if you fear an inability to negotiate and compromise, then aren’t you just delaying the inevitable, the disintegration of the coalition on its very moment of victory?


… which could bring about what I dread and posted in
Sex and a potential future for Malaysia.

I continued in that (last year’s) post:

Shouldn’t it be far safer to sort this unavoidable issue NOW rather than delay its inevitability? Quite frankly, I don’t consider you fit to take over the business of the government of the day if you cannot even resolve this power sharing now!

Then today RPK posted
The point we are making where he also lamented on the missing Pakatan shadow cabinet.

Coincidentally, today as well, my matey Dean Johns, articulate columnist at Malaysiakini, explains why he has steadfastly hammered UMNO-BN regularly but not Pakatan, but grudgingly admits there’s one point about PR that has bemused him. He wrote:

But as I've written in my admittedly rare columns criticising Pakatan Rakyat, the fact that it still refuses, or at least fails to specify a shadow cabinet or concrete set of policies, leaves us lamentably short of reliable insight into both its intentions and its ability to achieve them.

In its continuing and obdurate refusal to establish a shadow cabinet, kaytee believes that PR is behaving like the proverbial ostrich, burying its head in the sand to pretend there is no obvious void in their credentials to take over Putrajaya.

But then, with PAS suddenly going feral in abandoning its so-called ‘welfare state’ policy and reverting to its previous desire to establish an Islamic State, a volte-face in fact catalyzed by Anwar Ibrahim’s support for PAS' proposal to implement hudud in Kelantan.

Anwar was of course worried he might not be PM in a PR victory because of a new and growing synergy between PAS and DAP which renders him and PKR more and more irrelevant, thus I believe he dropped the bombshell to deliberately split PAS and DAP, a schism he believes will restore his bridging role between the other two component parties and hopefully his primus inter pares status in PR.

Thus I wonder, in the midst of such coalition turbulence, just how PR would ever see the formation of such a shadow cabinet, let alone assume rule in Putrajaya.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Sex and a potential future for Malaysia

Picture this scenario:

Assume the total Malaysian parliamentary seats remain at 222.

BN wins 100 seats in the election while PR reels in a majority of 122.

BN seats comprise UMNO’s 66 (including those in Sabah), MIC’s 1, PBB’s 25 and PBS’ 8.

PR seats comprise PAS’ 45, DAP’s 45 (including those in Sarawak and Sabah) and PKR’s 32 wakakaka.

PR forms the government.

Immediately PAS demands that Malaysia implements hudud fully.

DAP baulks, with Karpal saying “Over my dead body”.

PKR prevaricates as its 32 plus PAS’ 45 only amount to 77, well short of the majority of 113 (including an extra for the speaker). Someone tears his hair in frustration at the deadlock when all he wanted is to become PM with all the powers and trappings.

Why did I say 'PKR’s 32 seats' when there should be some of its non-Muslim MPs objecting to hudud, just like the DAP members? Hey man, this is a no-brainer as a mere 10 days ago I posted
Anwar's Myrmidons mute and meekly spineless? wakakaka.

Anyway, do you think it’s possible that “Muslim Unity” (sincere or otherwise) will then prevail, with UMNO’s 66, PAS 45 and PKR’s 32 combining up to give the new coalition called the Malaysian Muslim Merger (MMM) a total of 143 and consequently, majority rule?

The Mullahs take over, with the concept of people’s representatives giving way to Allah’s representatives. The Council of Clerics abolishes western-style democracy as un-Islamic and against Malay culture and traditions.

Those nons in PKR immediately undertake circumcisions to further enhance their (already ball-less) reduced weight.

Anwar cries as he realizes again that there's many a slip 'twixt cup and lip in his wish to be PM when he is made Ambassador to Turkey and sent into de facto (wakakaka) exile, while Najib is made Ambassador to France but without diplomatic immunity, where the law there is waiting for him.

The DAP becomes a banned organization under the new theocratic state and its members are sent to work camps in Sarawak and Sabah.

RPK’s assurance that we can always vote out PAS if it implements hudud was met by thousands of whispered squeeky-voiced (ball-less) “I told you so!".

But where's the 'sex' promised in the post's title?

There's none but then, how else could I have attracted your attention! wakakaka.