The Witch of Anw-dor?

Alexander vs Porus, King of India

There have been headlines that the Indians are once(?) again the king-makers in Malaysian politics, much to the joy of Uthayakumar, his HRP, even MIC, PPP, MUIP, and wakakaka, KIMMA as well as various kutu BN component parties and organizations that claim to represent Indian Malaysians.

Indeed, and so are we joyous as well ... especially kaytee as I had penned the following posts eons before the cries of marginalisation of Indians rang out:

(1) The Toddy Syndrome
(2) Malaysia's Economic Pariahs?
(3) Hated by Indra

Indra

... but hold on a ding dong minute, the king-making claim seems to be not what we had visualize and want. It's not about Indian voters tipping the balance of outcomes in the coming general election, and while this may yet be realized, the king-makers we are discussing in this post are the new G-Ds of "truth" and a King Saul like bloke who could call up or upon Malaysian Witches of Endor or more correctly, Witches of Anw-dor wakakaka.

On one side we have, as mentioned, B-D, the new G-D of 'Truth' especially the D of the Divine Duality, who in esoteric exotic erotic Taoism-like exercise, is making many PKR supporters go into wild orgasms at the "truth" spewed out like deep fried Manapparai murukku (chap rose hitam - haram certified, wakakaka), very non-halal (non-kosher) thus spicy and enticing but yawnnnnnnnn, something we non-PKR people are already familiar with ...

.... while (what G-D gives with one hand, G-D takes away with the other) RPK informs us in The ‘third party’ whom Rafizi Ramli spoke about of one Datuk Ravi who marvellously has a panel of bomohs on his payroll and is reputed to be the alleged Mursyidul Am sub rosā* to PKR, in fact one personally advising the party's de facto head, Anwar Ibrahim.

* sub rosā literally means 'under the rose', from the ancient use of the rose at meetings as a symbol of the sworn confidence of the participants or secret. You have to decide whether it is a black rose.

Wow, a double Makkal Sakti!

... and eat your roast lamb's heart out, Datuk TRJR*.

[* = Datuk Tiga Ratus Juta Ringgit, wakakaka]

Since 'tis the season of faith and we have been talking about matters relating to Judeo-Christianity, etc, it may be said that in Judeo-Christianity, the first official bomoh was Aaron, brother of Moses. He was the High Priest of the Hebrews, and only his direct descendants from the Tribe of Levi, referred to at times as Aaronites, could be priests.

But since the good book says he was a prophet, perhaps we need to leave him and other Aaronites (Hebrew priests) out of this discussion on witch doctors (or shamans or bomoh) ...

... which then makes the Witch of Endor as the most famous bomoh in the bible, wakakaka.

Witch of Endor, King Saul & ghost of Samuel

This is just a wee digression, a t'ng k'ooi (chong hei) meandering before I come back to the Indian king-maker and his panel of bomohs.

According to the Old Testament, King Saul (Israel's first king) was an unmitigated schizophrenic who was further depressed by leng chai David becoming the people's choice for kingship - so the Bible tells us but there's more to it than what the Bible hopes we would believe.

There was a battle looming and Saul wanted to consult God about his chances but alas God didn't answer him which doesn't surprised me in the least because God's usual mouthpiece Samuel coincidentally wasn't around, wakakaka.

Unfortunately for Saul (in more than one way), the treacherous Samuel, his priest-advisor, who seditiously abetted leng chai David in a failed coup d'etat, was dead. So Saul decided to ask the Witch of Endor to raise the ghost of Samuel for pre-battle consultations.

But I have my doubts about this.

You see, Samuel hated Saul’s guts because prior to Saul becoming Israel’s first king on the people’s demand, Samuel as a Judge-Priest was running the country. He appointed his two sons as his successors, and I am sure you have heard of such legacies (in  North Korea, I mean wakakaka), but the Israelites told them (Samuel’s sons) to f-o, wakakaka, and demanded Saul be appointed King instead.

Saul made 1st King of Israel by Israelites

Obviously insofar as Samuel was concerned, there was nothing that Saul ever did right – for example, there was a pending battle with the Amalekites. Samuel told Saul to wait for seven days after which they would meet and Samuel would then give further instructions on sacrifices to god prior to battle. But as would have it, Samuel did not arrive even after 7 days; Saul’s army was fidgeting so Saul started preparing for battle by conducting the standard offer of sacrifices.

Aha! Just as Saul finished doing that, guess who popped out from behind the bush? Caught you! Yes, Samuel arrived and railed against Saul for not waiting for him as he was the priest and the only who could offer sacrifices to god (so said he), of course conveniently acting dunno that he did not arrive even after the promised seven days.

Naturally the bomoh, ooops I mean, priest told Saul that god’s not happy with him and would take away his kingship.

Then bloke told Saul the latter had again fallen out of God’s favour because he (Saul) was too soft hearted and didn't slaughter all the Amalekites in a genocide instructed by Samuel.

Samuel’s continuous fault finding with Saul, using god’s name, remind me of a judge who once upon a time, long long ago, wakakaka, became the Lord President after he found his boss, then the incumbent Lord President, guilty of some alleged wrong, following which the Lord President was sacked and his prosecutor-judge-successor was promoted to become Lord President, wakakaka.

Obviously the biblical Judge-Priest (ruler before King Saul) wanted to achieve the same thing, wakakaka.

But realizing Saul had the people's support, he decided to become king-maker and promoted David as a worthy successor, claiming of course the murderous adulterous treacherous David was god's chosen ... thus wrote the Davidic supporters in the Bible, wakakaka.

Hebrew Bible

Maybe Samuel had hope to control David but he died at the age of 53 - just as well for him because there was no one in biblical history more devious, treacherous and evil than David, whose symbol today is on the flag of Israel.

Eventually David murdered Saul and his family (sons and daughter, his own wife) and seduced Saul’s wife and a few other men's wives to get Saul’s throne, so a wee BTN-style creative redaction of the Judaic records were done during the Judeans’ captivity in Babylon to whitewash David's crimes.

So the story of Saul calling the Witch of Endor to raise Samuel from the dead for pre battle consultations was a further demon-ization (excuse the unintended pun) of King Saul by Davidic supporters, apart from the gross implausible geographical details related to the sequence of events, indicating they were fabricated.

But consulting bomoh has been an intrinsic part of Malay culture, which I dare say, due to the muhibbah-ness of our society, some Chinese and Indians and a few Eurasians have participated too, wakakaka.

Yes, there are 3 activities that bind us closely like bro's and sis' - namely, sports (especially the faves of gamblers, wakakaka), 4-Ekor (see multiracial crowd at 4-Ekor shop wakakaka and the magnanimous policemen who would be so tolerant of double and even triple parking outside an 4-ekor shop, wakakaka), and consulting the bomoh (to dapat 4-Ekor lah, wakakaka).

4-D shop, wakakaka

My uncle told me that during the days of Tunku (or was it Tun Razak) PM-ship, the Vice Chancellor of our only university was, I believe, Prof Ungku Aziz who did the unusual. He engaged a bomoh to consecrate a hall in UM, and he did in an open ceremony where there were a number of invited guests including VIPs, wakakaka.

Ungku Aziz was big on Malay culture and he reckoned a bomoh consecrating the hall would be a nice touch, wakakaka. A few Malays grumbled but most smiled at his Malay-ness or eccentricity. The unique occasion was reported in most of the newspapers, and that's how my Unc came to know about it. Today I wonder which Malaysian university VC dares do such a thing, wakakaka.

Another uncle story - Recalling my uncles were in the Armed Forces, they heard this one about a certain Malay Regiment Battalion commanding officer (CO) during the Emergency. Bloke was a bit of a sexual perv, but let's keep clear of that as we want to discuss the bomoh in the story. 

Apparently, as the story went, bloke wanted to ambush a known CT group in his area of operations  As he lacked intelligence (the military kind, wakakaka) he consulted a bomoh in a hope to get a head start on other battalion commanders. The bomoh assured him that if he laid an ambush at location X, he would get those CTs. Of course the ambush was in vain, or we would have ended the Emergency a lot earlier, wakakaka. But something happened - he whacked the bomoh kau kau, wakakaka.

And of course, in the still mysterious disappearance of Silk King Jim Thompson in the jungle of Cameron Highlands, many bomohs including pawangs from Sarawak were co-opted in the biggest police-military search in Malaysian history.

Okay, back to our politics about Anwar, Dr Ravi and his panel of bomohs as revealed by RPK. 

As I had posted in May 2006 about the religious devotion of Malaysian politicians, wakakaka, the prize in Malaysian politics is so literally attractive and immensely profitable that some of our politicians had even resorted (and presumably still do) to the supernatural to keep them in office or win top party posts. I discussed a Malaysiakini article which revealed that those occult-inclined politicians had not only been ambitious people from UMNO but also from PKR and PAS, engaging in a sort of War of the OTHER Worlds, wakakaka.

rumours he even has an Israeli one, maybe from Endor, wakakaka

I can understand PKR would participate because it's just another 'branch' of UMNO, and now we have it also from RPK about Anwar, but how revealing to learn that PAS politicians have been taking extra 'insurance' as well, wakakaka.

The bomoh politik (witch doctor or shaman who specializes in political advantage for his politician clients, wakakaka) said that non-Malay politicians have also consulted him, and I did wonder who they could be – from MCA, MIC, Gerakan and PPP? I doubt it would be those prudish, prim and proper DAP.

Besides, some pro UMNO bloggers have accused them of being evangelistic Christians so I doubt they would consult pagan bomohs ... unless of course someone can promise them The Witch of Endor wakakaka.

It seems that the typical politician-client would be so desperate that he would request of the bomoh politik, almost literally “Doktor, I must win at all cost” to which the witch doctor would take him at his word, literally, wakakaka! Yes, sums of RM10,000 or even RM100,000 changed hands easily with undoubtedly ‘bonuses’ to follow, should a spell or talisman ‘work’ to the politician’s favour. Presumably these had been in addition to their phantom army (pun not intended as well as intended), wakakaka.

And their search for ‘another worldly’ advantage is not only limitless in the financial considerations, but geographically as well. The politicians would go in search of spells and shamans as far as Thailand and Indonesia.

I had mentioned in Return of the Red-Eyed Toyol that most SE Asian occult practices would have been influenced by the occult practices of Hinduism's Tantric branch that made its way to our region. The best occult would be found in India, in the Shaivism School or Branch of Hinduism.

India and Indian are just coincidences lah, okay? wakakaka.

Tantric Hinduism had strong influence on Javanese and Balinese Hinduism and thus their occultism. Hinduism had also influenced Khmer, Thai, Laotian and Burmese black magic. Some Tantrism had also slipped into the Vajrayana (Tibetan) School of Buddhism to include the worship of the Goddess Tara. We also see her at the Buddhist Temple at Borobudur near Jogjakarta, indicating that Hinduism had synthesized with Buddhism there - hardly surprising as Javanese empires were alternatively Buddhist or Hindu.

Tara at Borobudur

We Malaysians live right on the cross roads of these ancient civilizations hence the Malaysian origin of the occult may be traced back to Tantric Hinduism too.

Well, in Indonesia, one of the most popular destinations for consulting a bomoh is Asahan in Sumatera. Some years ago there was a rumour that a member of the Malaysian royalty employed Sumateran black magic to keep her hubby under selective impotence – he couldn't ‘rise to the occasion’ with any other woman. After she left for the happy hunting grounds, the widower demonstrated in no uncertain terms that he was ‘freed’ from her spell wakakaka.

According to an Indonesian who runs a business in Kuala Lumpur, he took a few Malaysian politicians to visit a bomoh in Asahan just weeks before the UMNO elections in 2004. He was informed that the politicians needed the services of the bomoh as they were planning to contest for high posts. Bloke advised us to watch out for the ‘tours’ to Asahan by the UMNO politicians whenever a new UMNO election or general election season is about to start, wakakaka.

But it’s not just Asahan, because those UMNO blokes had gone as far as Surabaya and Pekalongan in Java for ‘consultations. He said pointedly: “They are not worried about payment as long as they achieve their objectives.” Indeed!

We gather that bomohs in Indonesia have been more effective in political speciality and also much cheaper compared to their Malaysian counterparts. Alamak, what a shame for our domestic bomohs. Maybe they ought to seek SIRIM assistance, wakakaka.

But we heard another story from our home boys … ooops … I mean … bomohs.

For example, Encik Awang Mohd Yahya, or should it be Doktor Awang Mohd Yahya, specializes in sure-fire political success.

He informed Malaysiakini that his services were often sought by politicians when UMNO elections or general elections approach. He declared that in 2004, several candidates vying for top posts in UMNO party had sought his help. He said:

“Politicians with high ambitions want to win. They want people to listen to what they say and hope that with the help of bomohs, they will be chosen.”

“Not only UMNO and UMNO Youth leaders come looking for me but also Puteri UMNO leaders.”

Well, he certainly didn't discriminate against gender or age. An equal opportunity enlightened bomoh. Naturally he couldn't reveal names – patient-witch doctor’s confidence, you know, wakakaka.

And this is the best part, Doktor Awang confirmed the earlier story about our Malaysian muhibbah approach when it comes to witch-doctor services, wakakaka. He revealed those seeking his services had been even leaders from opposition PAS and PKR as well as non-Malays, wakakaka.

As I said, our nation is most certainly multi-ethnic and multi-cultural, united in our faith in the good olde bomoh, wakakaka.

But being Malaysian, he knew a thing or two about covering his 6 o’clock, by sneaking in a clause, saying that bomohs can only play a role in influencing events to a certain extent. The rest is decided by God.

Amin to that, though what about the voters?

Oh BTW, did you hear about that one in March 2009, where a 'charm' was placed under AAB's table at the 39th floor of the Putra World Trade Centre in UMNO headquarters? The charm was discovered by  a police bomb squad just prior to an UMNO supreme council meeting.

AAB

The bomb squad personnel found two tiny pieces of paper with Jawi inscriptions as well as a piece of wood wrapped in a white piece of paper.

And Anwar Ibrahim was terribly upset. he asked in Parliament why the items were found under AAB's desk and ... now get this, wakakaka ... not that of Najib's or other leaders'. wakakaka again.

Oh BTW, then I had a serious discussion on the ‘charm’ with a well-known saikong (Taoist priest) in my kampung, who then referred me to his muhibbah matey, my village bomoh – all these by mobile of course, wakakaka.

Pak Bomoh told me it was placed there by a certain someone to keep AAB wide awake, following criticisms he was zzzzzzzzzzzzzz during meetings. ;-)

Sounds like a good deal so I asked Pak Bomoh whether I could have one with an opposite effect, namely to help me sleep more soundly as I have been tossing and turning in bed.

The wily old man, who knows me since I was a toddler, told me (with a sly grin): “Cucu bukan Muslim ‘kan. Minum mabuk cukup lah.”

yaw seng wakakaka

Wakakaka, the witch doctor is sure great!

Anyway, if what RPK has told us is true about Dauk Ravi and his panel of bomohs in combat readiness (spiritually of course) for Anwar Ibrahim, all I need to assure Anwar is that he’s just being Truly Malaysian wakakaka, and not to worry. After all, Prof Ungku Aziz had set a wonderful precedence, wakakaka.

And once again, Makkal Sakti to the Indian king-makers, wakakaka.