Saturday's "It's not true ....."

May be published in Malaysiakini ;-)

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It’s not true …

(1) That AAB will soon be holidaying in Perth

(2) That UMNO Johor presented him with a gift

(3) Of a one-way ticket from AirAsia (special discount)

(4) That Anwar Ibrahim has asked for courier service

(5) To send the return ticket to AAB with a message

(6) Which reads “Come home lah, I need you more than ever!”

(7) That blogger Jed Yoong has a new blogsite

(8) With her own domain called http://jedyoong.com/

(9) It’s very colourful but definitely not in pig sty hue

(10) That my matey wits0 has one too

(11) Called http://palestinians-aint-philistines.il/ – Mazal Tov matey

(12) That my cyber matey kittykat 46 calls kaytee 'ayatollah'

(13) Because kaytee attacks his idol Anwar Ibrahim

(14) That kaytee wonders why someone attacking Anwar

(15) Should be called 'ayatollah'

(16) That sweetie Jed Yoong has proposed

(17) Sweetie sassy Teresa Kok as Ambassador

(18) to Vietnam

(19) that Malaysia will soon be a nation of vegetarians

(20) because Muslim can’t eat pork

(21) Hindu can’t eat beef

(22) Christians don’t want to eat lamb (of Christ)

(23) PKR anwaristas don’t eat frogs

(24) UMNO-istas refuse to eat crow

(25) Most people don’t wanna eat chooks because of avian flu

(26) Buddhists still working out which animal they won’t eat

(27) Taoists are waiting for the Buddhists

(28) Sikhs are asking whether chapati is animal, vegetable or mineral?

(29) Atheist kaytee is tucking in on ‘combination roast’ (veg of coz)

(30) That Najib is practising how to stand and walk straight

(31) And shouting ‘Merdeka Merdeka Merdeka’ in front of mirror

(32) That UMNO maintains its tradition of assigning the Tourism Ministry to UMNO little budak's

(33) The former budak said “80% bloggers are unemployed female liars”

(34) The current kiddie said “don’t wanna play anymore, wanna go home with my ball liao”

(35) But now all UMNO MPs, ADUNs and wannabes have to be bloggers

(36) Regardless of whether they are female or male liars

(37) Especially if they are now unemployed politicians

(38) That’s the new ball game they have to play

(39) Guided by a new party manual for poli-bloggers

(40) Called ‘Boleh Blogger Bullshit-Baffle-Brains Book for Braves & Bitches’

(41) That Ong Ka Ting said “Not me lah, it’s that ang moh 007”

(42) That AAB said “mea culpa”

(43) kittykat 46 said “carpe diem”

(44) Anwar Ibrahim said “vēnī, vīdī, vīcī" and "ya lah, moi moi moi"

(45) wits0 said “fu kPa lest in ians”

(46) Susan Loone said “Shariibuu Altantuyaa”

(47) Jed Yoong said "por kcho pan yone?", and

(48) kaytee says “an ymo reb eer?”