The comedian who would be king — Che Ran
Sunday, 02 Mar 2025 9:53 AM MYT
MARCH 2 — Once upon a time, Volodymyr Zelensky was a comedian. Not a particularly great one, but a competent enough entertainer—his greatest act was pretending to play a president on TV. Then one day, life imitated art, and Ukraine, sick of corruption and oligarchs, decided to roll the dice on a political outsider. It was a good script — fresh, unexpected, the kind that wins awards. But here’s the problem with comedians who find themselves in power: they start thinking the audience is laughing with them, when in reality, they’re the joke.
Fast forward to today, and Zelensky isn’t playing a fictional president anymore — he’s playing warlord. But he’s not doing it with his own army, his own resources, or even his own strategic vision. He’s doing it with US$350 billion of American military aid, courtesy of the most generous patron Ukraine will ever have.
And how does he show his gratitude? By marching into the White House like a man who wasn’t just handed a blank check for survival, sneering at the very people who’ve funded his war. No humility. No gratitude. Just entitlement.
The US$350 billion grift
Let’s get real: Where’s the money? Because if Ukraine had spent US$350 billion wisely, Russian troops wouldn’t still be holding ground. If every missile, bullet, and armored vehicle had gone where it was supposed to go, we wouldn’t be hearing reports of soldiers running out of ammo, conscripts fighting in sneakers, and frontline troops begging for supplies.
But we know where some of the money went. It’s in Vienna townhouses, Swiss bank accounts, and luxury getaways in the Maldives. It’s in the pockets of corrupt Ukrainian officials who, in between begging for more aid, are living better than the American taxpayers funding this war. When American money vanishes into the ether, where do you think it goes? Do you think it magically evaporates? No. It gets stolen. It funds the lifestyles of the very people who claim to be defending democracy.
Meanwhile, American cities crumble. Homelessness is at record highs. Crime skyrockets. Infrastructure rots. Veterans who actually fought in US wars sleep under bridges, while Zelensky’s bureaucrats buy summer homes in Tuscany. Yet we’re supposed to believe Ukraine is the moral high ground here?
According to the writer, the man who claims to be fighting for Ukraine is actually leading it straight into the abyss, and America has been played. —AFP pic
The man who won’t stop the war
But the most damning part? Zelensky doesn’t even want to end the war.
Look, war isn’t a game. It’s not a screenplay. It’s real — and every real leader knows that war ends in one of two ways: a decisive victory or a negotiated peace. Ukraine isn’t getting the first. And Zelensky refuses to consider the second.
Why? Because peace doesn’t pay. War does. War funds the Zelensky brand. It keeps the billions rolling in. The moment there’s a ceasefire, the money dries up, and suddenly, the world stops paying attention to Ukraine. So instead of trying to save his people, he’s throwing them into the fire, one after another, just to keep the game going.
What kind of leader sacrifices millions of his own people just to keep himself relevant? What kind of leader actively sabotages peace talks while his soldiers freeze to death in trenches? The answer: a man who never truly cared about his people to begin with.
The reckless move after Trump’s win
And then there’s the timing.
The ink wasn’t even dry on Trump’s victory when suddenly, Ukraine starts firing long-range missiles into Russian-held territory. The same Ukraine that had been tiptoeing around escalation for months — suddenly, they go bold the moment they see Biden’s grip loosening.
This wasn’t a strategic military decision. This was a desperate gamble. Zelensky knows Trump isn’t going to write him the same blank checks Biden did. He knows the American gravy train is coming to an end. So what does he do? He tries to force America deeper into the war before the political winds shift.
Think about that. Think about how reckless that is. What kind of leader deliberately escalates a war when his country is already on the brink of collapse?
This wasn’t about Ukraine’s survival. It was about Zelensky’s survival. It was about trying to keep the war alive long enough to lock the US into an even bigger commitment. Because once that happens, it won’t matter what Trump wants — America will be trapped in yet another unwinnable war.
The future of the Ukrainian people
And the saddest part? When all of this is over — when the money stops flowing, when Ukraine is left in ruins, when the American arms shipments dry up — where will Zelensky be?
Not in Kyiv. Not in the rubble of Mariupol. He’ll be in some Monaco penthouse, sipping cocktails, hailed as a hero in exile, while the people he was supposed to protect are left to pick up the pieces of the war he refused to end.
That’s the tragic irony of all of this. The man who claims to be fighting for Ukraine is actually leading it straight into the abyss. And America? America has been played. It’s been scammed into bankrolling the vanity project of a comedian-turned-king who has no exit strategy, no endgame — only the blind, desperate need to keep the show going, no matter the cost.
And the bill? The bill gets sent to the American taxpayer.
MARCH 2 — Once upon a time, Volodymyr Zelensky was a comedian. Not a particularly great one, but a competent enough entertainer—his greatest act was pretending to play a president on TV. Then one day, life imitated art, and Ukraine, sick of corruption and oligarchs, decided to roll the dice on a political outsider. It was a good script — fresh, unexpected, the kind that wins awards. But here’s the problem with comedians who find themselves in power: they start thinking the audience is laughing with them, when in reality, they’re the joke.
Fast forward to today, and Zelensky isn’t playing a fictional president anymore — he’s playing warlord. But he’s not doing it with his own army, his own resources, or even his own strategic vision. He’s doing it with US$350 billion of American military aid, courtesy of the most generous patron Ukraine will ever have.
And how does he show his gratitude? By marching into the White House like a man who wasn’t just handed a blank check for survival, sneering at the very people who’ve funded his war. No humility. No gratitude. Just entitlement.
The US$350 billion grift
Let’s get real: Where’s the money? Because if Ukraine had spent US$350 billion wisely, Russian troops wouldn’t still be holding ground. If every missile, bullet, and armored vehicle had gone where it was supposed to go, we wouldn’t be hearing reports of soldiers running out of ammo, conscripts fighting in sneakers, and frontline troops begging for supplies.
But we know where some of the money went. It’s in Vienna townhouses, Swiss bank accounts, and luxury getaways in the Maldives. It’s in the pockets of corrupt Ukrainian officials who, in between begging for more aid, are living better than the American taxpayers funding this war. When American money vanishes into the ether, where do you think it goes? Do you think it magically evaporates? No. It gets stolen. It funds the lifestyles of the very people who claim to be defending democracy.
Meanwhile, American cities crumble. Homelessness is at record highs. Crime skyrockets. Infrastructure rots. Veterans who actually fought in US wars sleep under bridges, while Zelensky’s bureaucrats buy summer homes in Tuscany. Yet we’re supposed to believe Ukraine is the moral high ground here?
According to the writer, the man who claims to be fighting for Ukraine is actually leading it straight into the abyss, and America has been played. —AFP pic
The man who won’t stop the war
But the most damning part? Zelensky doesn’t even want to end the war.
Look, war isn’t a game. It’s not a screenplay. It’s real — and every real leader knows that war ends in one of two ways: a decisive victory or a negotiated peace. Ukraine isn’t getting the first. And Zelensky refuses to consider the second.
Why? Because peace doesn’t pay. War does. War funds the Zelensky brand. It keeps the billions rolling in. The moment there’s a ceasefire, the money dries up, and suddenly, the world stops paying attention to Ukraine. So instead of trying to save his people, he’s throwing them into the fire, one after another, just to keep the game going.
What kind of leader sacrifices millions of his own people just to keep himself relevant? What kind of leader actively sabotages peace talks while his soldiers freeze to death in trenches? The answer: a man who never truly cared about his people to begin with.
The reckless move after Trump’s win
And then there’s the timing.
The ink wasn’t even dry on Trump’s victory when suddenly, Ukraine starts firing long-range missiles into Russian-held territory. The same Ukraine that had been tiptoeing around escalation for months — suddenly, they go bold the moment they see Biden’s grip loosening.
This wasn’t a strategic military decision. This was a desperate gamble. Zelensky knows Trump isn’t going to write him the same blank checks Biden did. He knows the American gravy train is coming to an end. So what does he do? He tries to force America deeper into the war before the political winds shift.
Think about that. Think about how reckless that is. What kind of leader deliberately escalates a war when his country is already on the brink of collapse?
This wasn’t about Ukraine’s survival. It was about Zelensky’s survival. It was about trying to keep the war alive long enough to lock the US into an even bigger commitment. Because once that happens, it won’t matter what Trump wants — America will be trapped in yet another unwinnable war.
The future of the Ukrainian people
And the saddest part? When all of this is over — when the money stops flowing, when Ukraine is left in ruins, when the American arms shipments dry up — where will Zelensky be?
Not in Kyiv. Not in the rubble of Mariupol. He’ll be in some Monaco penthouse, sipping cocktails, hailed as a hero in exile, while the people he was supposed to protect are left to pick up the pieces of the war he refused to end.
That’s the tragic irony of all of this. The man who claims to be fighting for Ukraine is actually leading it straight into the abyss. And America? America has been played. It’s been scammed into bankrolling the vanity project of a comedian-turned-king who has no exit strategy, no endgame — only the blind, desperate need to keep the show going, no matter the cost.
And the bill? The bill gets sent to the American taxpayer.
No comments:
Post a Comment