Sexual pervert to 13-year old kid: I'll wait for you

'I will wait for you': Coach tells former national swimmer when she was 13

At 13 years old, former national swimmer Cindy Ong was voiceless to speak up against sexual harassment and assault allegedly by a coach assigned to the Malaysian team.

It took nearly 25 years for Ong, now 37 and a mother of three, to recently open up about her story.

Speaking as a panellist at an online discussion hosted by PKR Youth legal bureau, she said she now understood how attempts to groom victims will start at a young age, and it could escalate many years later.

"He was grooming me. That he was interested in me. At 13 years old and I clearly remember this, he said, 'I will wait for you'.

"I felt a bit weird even at that time at 13. Now thinking back about it, wow! How sick do you have to be to tell a 13-year-old girl 'I am going to wait for you to grow up...'"

Ong later furthered her studies in the US but remained in touch with the local swimming fraternity that still included the coach.

In the session today, she revealed another alleged incident involving the coach which she said happened in her early 20s upon her return from the US.

"For some reason that I cannot remember, I think he told me he wanted to show me something in his house [...] somehow I ended up in his apartment.

"He took a shower, came out in his towel, grabbed my hand and had me touch him. He definitely tried to rape me," said Ong.

"I never told anyone about this because I just can't. Not when I was in my 20s, not when I was 13... especially not when I was 13.

"And I had so many people backlashing at me asking 'why did you not tell anyone then?'"

Ong reminded her critics that not only was the topic of sexual harassment seen as a taboo, there was also a realisation that such allegations against the coach was an open secret but no actions were taken to stop it.

'Put an end to permissive society'

PKR legal bureau chief Fadhlina Siddiq said activists should focus to change a permissive society that allows incidents of domestic violence, sexual harassment and sexual assault to continue.

She said this was on top of dismantling deep-rooted cultures behind rape jokes and overall perversion, including through social media comments directed towards Ong and others who spoke up about their experiences as victims.

PKR legal bureau chief Fadhlina Siddiq

"We must come up with a new narrative that upholds the basic human dignity," said Fadhlina, an activist and a syariah lawyer by profession.

"We must know when to be an active bystander. To call out such acts when we come across them. What is happening today, we lack that push to speak out when such things happen," she added.

Addressing the issue of sexual harassment in the sports industry, Fadhlina said parents have an active role to play in identifying and setting physical, social and sexual boundaries, particularly for young athletes.

She said doing so would help to prevent attempts at sexual grooming, or inappropriate relationships outside the training process.

The third panellist at today's forum hosted on PKR Youth Facebook page was sports law expert Richard Wee who noted that incidents of sexual harassment also extended to e-sports athletes, particularly women gamers.

Ong earlier admitted her courage to finally speak up was partly inspired by 17-year-old student Ain Husniza Saiful Nizam who made headlines after her initial TikTok video that exposed a male teacher who allegedly made a rape joke while teaching in class.

"As a parent myself, I am a parent of three kids [...] I want them to be safe, that is a very heavy responsibility on parents.

"We would hate for something like this to happen to our kids," she said.

Responding to Ong's initial expose, as well as those by several other national athletes, Deputy Youth and Sports Minister Wan Ahmad Fayhsal Wan Ahmad Kamal previously said he will not compromise with those who tarnish the nation's image.