Ahmad Zahid tok-kok

Sometimes I could not help but laugh at Ahmad Zahid's hilarious kok-tok, wakakaka.

Do you recall in 1998, two decades ago, Ahmad Zahid Hamidi was UMNO Youth Chief and the ally of (then DPM) Anwar Ibrahim.

He (Ahmad Zahid) was touted as Anwar's vanguard to oust Dr Mahathir from the PM position well ahead of schedule (ie. Mahathir's planned and then-abandoned plan to retire, as is happening now, wakakaka).

The tactic then was to voice allegations of Mahathir’s cronyism and nepotism. On June 1998, The New York Times ( NYT ) reported in its World Business page:

In what was seen as a jab at Mr Mahathir’s 17-year leadership, the head of Umno’s youth wing, Ahmad Zahid Hamidi, had called for an end to cronyism and nepotism during a speech to delegates.

“Why were big loans to big businessmen approved so easily when small guys had to wait so long to get a loan of RM50,000?” (US$12,500) Mr Ahmad Zahid asked.

The NYT also reported that the PM (Mahathir then) responded to Zahid’s allegation the next day by posting hundreds of names of people who have won government projects in recent years, a list which included his accuser, Zahid.

Though Mahathir failed to answer Ahmad Zahid's accusation, his Blitzkrieg-style counter-attack was sufficient to silent the young upstart.

Subsequently, Zahid’s superior survival skills [wakakaka] had him confessing that Anwar was the person who instructed him to attack Dr Mahathir with allegations of cronyism and nepotism.

'twas anwar, not innocent me
wakakaka

The New Straits Times (June 19, 1999) informed us that Zahid finished his confessional by apologising to the then PM, and with a flamboyant flourish, acknowledged Dr Mahathir’s rebuke of him as a father-to-son advice.

Father to son advice. Wakakaka.

Though many at that time wondered whether Mahathir was repulsed, revolted and repelled by Zahid’s smarmy volte-face (considering he was Anwar’s vanguard in that intra-party power manoeuvre) or was instead somewhat mollified by Zahid's bodek-speak, as Mahathir was known to appreciate 'due repentance', wakakaka, by UMNO blokes who attempted to rebel against him.

That was when Ahmad Zahid first amused me by his kok-tok, wakakaka.

The second time was ten years later, around December 2010.

Then I posted Patriotism - a useful UMNO word in which I wrote:

Defence Minister Zahid Hamidi stated in response to a question in Parliament that the low number of Chinese and Indian recruits in the military could be due to the Chinese and Indians [being] 'not patriotic enough'.

DAP’s Kulasegaran was the man who called Zahid a 'patriot coward', wakakaka, when he scooted out of the Dewan Rakyat to evade opposition questions on his nonsensical 'non-Malays lack spirit of patriotism' controversy.

But following that, Zahid made some half-hearted back-down, trying to spin his way out of his self created bigoted mess in much the same way as he had spun his way back into mainstream UMNO after deserting the Anwar Ibrahim camp in 1998, wakakaka.

Clever bloke and a potential general in the art of tactical redeployment wakakaka.

When Ahmad Zahid was back again in Parliament then, Kulasegaran latched on to him and fired several barrage of HE (high explosive) artillery shells, passing a motion to deduct a symbolic but very indicting RM10 from Zahid’s pay.

The thought of such a symbolic parliamentary censure forced Zahid to come out in girlish defence of his credentials.

ahmad zahidi? wakakaka 

Why ‘girlish’? I’ll come to that shortly.

In a shameless 180 degrees direction about-turn which Ahmad Zahid has been notoriously renowned for, wakakaka, he praised the contribution of non-Malays in the armed forces during the emergency period and the Indonesian confrontation (tho' he failed to mention their contributions on overseas missions like in the Congo) who had “given their limbs and lives for this beloved country”. Zahid then claimed the following as proof that he wasn’t racist:

"I have many Indian and Chinese friends and voters in my area who are non-Malays. Did you ever have friend in university who are not of your race?

"I used to share a room in the dorm with an Indian, in my final year in University Malaya. I shared a room with an Indian."

The roar of wakakaka’s from the opposition bench shook the foundations of the already unstable Parliament building. Kula sneeringly commented: "What does that have to do with anything? That does not explain the statement you made as a minister."

I too was overwhelmed by a humongous bout of heavy wakakaka-ing at Zahid’s fallback on such a girlish meaningless reply.

So that he slept with an Indian was proof he was not a racist? Wakakaka again.

Now read the MM Online Zahid: BN expects defeat in urban seats (extracts):

KUALA LUMPUR, July 23 — Barisan Nasional (BN) has given up on several urban seats, including the Bukit Bintang and Seputeh constituencies in Kuala Lumpur which are DAP strongholds, Datuk Seri Ahmad Zahid Hamidi said today.

The party vice president said even if Umno placed its secretary general, Datuk Seri Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor, against Seputeh incumbent Teresa Kok, the latter would still win the seat.

Wakakaka. 

Please note those high-lighted phrases, to wit:

(i) ... even if Umno placed its sec-gen Ku Nan ... against sweetie Teresa Kok,

(ii) ... Teresa would still win ... 

Ahmad Zahid has not failed us with his usual kok-tok, which has been about Ku Nan's chances in a contest with Teresa Kok in the federal constituency of Seputeh.

Ya, like Ku Nan has a snow flake's chance in Hell.

Even if Najib, Mahathir, Lim Kit Siang, Wan Azizah, Lim Guan Eng, Nurul Izzah were each to stand against Teresa in Seputeh, they will be lucky not to have their deposit confiscated, wakakaka.

Once in an earlier post I wrote that I pitied those MCA kamikaze candidates sent to stand in Bukit Bintang during Lee Lam Thye's days.

Then, Lee was virtually a demigod in the eyes of his constituency and woe betide any political challenger for his seat.

My uncle told me in each general election he actually felt sorry for those MCA pollies who were ‘nominated’ by MCA leaders to stand against Lee. They were probably unpopular members, good only as cannon fodders wakakaka.

Maybe the following poem by kamikaze pilot, the late Matomi Ugaki, should be dedicated to those foolish or 'pushed forward' to stand against Lee Lam Thye:

Flowers of the special attack are falling
When the spring is leaving.
Gone with the spring
Are young boys like cherry blossoms.
Gone are the blossoms,
Leaving cherry trees only with leaves.

MCA cherry blossoms? Totally crushed by Lee Lam Thye! Wakakaka!

But the same could be said for those who stood against or want to stand against Sweetie Sassy Teresa in Seputeh.

Malaysia's political Amazon

won't you vote for her? 

In 2008 she won the constituency with 81.38% of the total votes cast, and in 2013 she increased that to 85.95%. No one in Malaysia has ever won a constituency with such overwhelming majority.

And Ahmad Zahid has the unrealistic audacity to say silly words like:

... even if Umno placed its sec-gen Ku Nan ... against sweetie Teresa Kok, ... Teresa would still win ... 

as if Ku Nan was UMNO's best, who as we all know, could only survive in Putrajaya constituency of 17,000 total votes.

If UMNO were foolish enough to place him in Seputeh against the Sassy Sweetie, I have no doubt Ku Nan will only emerge without both his deposit and his underwear, and his nuts totally crushed. And I'm only partially blaming sweetie Teresa for that inevitable eventuality, wakakaka.

remnants of Ku Nan, wakakaka 

Get fucking real Ahmad Zahid, though don't stop tok-ing kok as you can continue to amuse us.

Wakakaka.