Tongue in cheek GE-13 - Part 1

As the election campaign hots up for the most crucial, most acrimonious and most interesting general elections (since 1969), temperature, temperaments and tempers have been equally hotting up.

Kaytee believes it’s time for a light-hearted tongue-in-cheek post, hopefully to relieve the tension and for us to lighten up a wee bit before some of us cry.

All written here are fictionalized scripts in the spirit of fun for a new coming show titled 'Tongue in cheek GE-13' in several parts. Here is Part 1, wakakaka.

********

First, let me draw on TMI’s Poser over Perak MB post as Pakatan dithers on Nizar.

The choice should be DAP's as it'll likely be (again) the Pakatan component which will win the most number of state seats in the coming state election.

But then, in the event Pakatan wins the Perak state election, alas, on precedent it is unlikely HRH will accept a DAP candidate as MB, thus DAP has nominated Nizar Jamaluddin of PAS as the MB-designated, based on his great record as MB Perak in 2008.

While DAP wants him to be the MB, PKR and PAS aren't keen, no doubt having in mind their respective own candidate. But we know the last PKR proposal for MB, the man from Behrang, ended up being a frog, as had many PKR politicians.

I refused to eat cake
too much sugar, wakakaka

Ahah, the latest news on the kt.wakakaka.com grapevine is that Pakatan may have arrived at an unusual solution which also appears to have met the tacit approval of the palace.

Thinking outside the box, Perak DAP Chief Ngeh has recruited a compromise candidate in Harussani Zakaria to be Perak’s new MB.

I must still be allowed to use my SMS

Harussani has agreed to stand as a DAP candidate in Jelapang provided Raja Sherina is not accepted as a DAP or PAS member, wakakaka.

blamed by HZ for being the cause of the 
SMS fabrication about the church mass conversion

maybe Syaitan was responsible for the lies? wakakaka

At once the compromise candidate meets the demands of the right wing sector in PAS, and as for PKR, who cares about its usual jealousy.

And DAP is also happy at its double winner choice where (a) they not only have a Malay ADUN but also a religious one as well, and (b) they can smugly smirk at their brilliant two-fingered gesture at a frog who loves capsicum spraying in Perak's Dewan Undang2 negara.

However, the more liberal sector in PAS wasn't happy, where a mufti, known for his moderate views, pointed out to Ngeh that the Mufti had been a bastard for questioning their brand of Islam.

But Ngeh, in a Roosevelt-like tone, replied: "He may be a bastard but he's our bastard."

"But look matey ... er ... maaf, I mean mufti", said Ngeh in a conciliatory voice, "I'll have the DAP logo re-designed to show a DAP rocket landing on the PAS moon, okay?"

Take that Zamry

Meanwhile, Perak DAP have dispatched several boxes of Panadol to DAP national chairperson, Karpal Singh.

BREAKING NEWS

Tunku Aziz condemns DAP for playing fast and loose with Malays.

Zulkifli Noordin has reapplied to join PKR, claiming he can offer himself as a better Muslim candidate for the post of Perak's MB.

wakakaka