Those bloody rich Chinese!

[This post was published on 28 March 2010 - thought I'd republish it today 😂😁😃😅😆]

The Malaysian Insider just published an article titled Government will update data on wealth distribution.

It reported that Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad has called for an investigation into wealth distribution in our country following accusations that non- Malays have been grabbing everything.

Dr Mahathir

DPM Muhyiddin Yassin agreed to that (natch!). He said:

“The data is available, maybe needs to be updated. According to current records, a large portion of the nation’s wealth is in the hands of non-Malays.”

“We acknowledge this matter, previously under the New Economic Policy we had targeted for Malays to own at least 30 per cent of the nation’s wealth but it is has been proven that till today we have not achieved it.

“On the other hand, wealth ownership among the non-Malays increased especially the Chinese. We need to have an approach whereby we do better towards meeting the aspirations of all communities.”

Muhyiddin Yassin

Incidentally kaytee has recently completed my own informal private study on the same topic, and found the following ethnic groups own the respective proportion of national wealth:

Chinese – 97.73% - bastards, Perkasa has been right all along!
Indians – 2.25 % - stop grumbling, Perkasa has been right all along!
Malays – 0.02% - didn’t I tell you Perkasa has been right all along?

I told my elderly village neighbour when he came to Selangor for a weekend visit of my findings. He gasped in amazement at the statistics which showed him as among the wealthy Malaysians. He asked me pointedly: “Kaytee, when is Ah Pek going to get in real terms my share of that wonderful percentage that Chinese own?”

As I was about to answer him, I was distracted by the fantastic mansion on my left. It resembles a Bali palace, and it’s even bigger than the one in Klang, home of a late satay king. As my Kancil spluttered along the Great Wall of the Bali Palace, a sleek BMW coupe zoomed by me. ‘Ere its 4.2 litres engine took it out of my sight, I recognize it as belonging to a Datin whose hubby is one of the directors of a GLC.

Khir Toyo's Bali Palace

I whispered to Ah Pek, “Don’t tell anyone, with the exception of Perkasa, but we Chinese will be taking over the country soon, and when we do, you’ll then get your share.”

“Are you crazy? Perkasa is the last organization we should tell,” he glared at me for my seeming gross stupidity.

I told him it was in fact the leader of Perkasa who told us that the Chinese will take over running Malaysia.

He gasped again and exclaimed, “You mean that bloke who was a student activist about to be arrested under the ISA in 1970, and who ran to seek help from then Opposition Leader Lim Kit Siang?”

Dr Mahathir & Ibrahim Ali

This time it was my turn to gasp, “Really?”

“Yes, that f* lying ingrate! Now he claims that the DAP, which he ran to for help in 1970, was responsible for May 13.”

“Karn neen nare, just imagine, one year after May 13, he desperately went to the very man, the leader of the DAP in 1970, for help, and now he accuses the DAP of being May 13 trouble-makers.”

Elder looked despondent after that, realizing he was not about to go on an immediate spending spree in KL for all the wealth kaytee has informed him the Chinese in this country own, and would be still plodding away at his char koay teow stall in Ayer Itam when he returned to Penang.

Ayer Itam

Then he sighed loudly and conceded, “I guess I ought to be grateful that I‘m luckier than my father. He was just a trishaw man, toiling away like a beast of burden everyday, for peanuts, until he eventually died a physically broken man! Kuan Yin has been merciful to me. I hope my grandson will be able to take over my char koay teow stall in 3 years from now, when I am 67.”

Indeed, Omitofu!