Betty-Na (alarmed): That’s a tasteless joke. Aunt has been missing for weeks. Maybe it’s her! You know there was some shooting around the time she disappeared.
Jaan-Tan (dismissive): Naah, you worry too much, dear, like those humans. Look darling, I’ll ring up a man who knows everything.
Betty-Na: Everything?
Jann-Tan (lumbering to the public telephone at the edge of a Johor forest reserve): Well ... he's after all an important bloke in the news world.
Betty-Na: Don’t use your name. You know how the word ‘Jann-Tan’ (jantan) drives them up the wall. Just refer to your self as … er … yes … use ‘Jay’. That will be more ambiguous.
Ring ring ring … ring iiiiing iiiiing
Operator: Halloooo, selamat pag …..
Jann-Tan (impatient): Er ... selamat pagi, tingkat empat please.
Operator: Nomber, Incik?
Jann-Tan (nonplussed, but decided to punt): Er … No 1.
Operator (now alert): No 1? Incik siapa?
Jann-Tan: Jay.
Operator (relieved): J? Baik tuan, sebentar … (30 seconds) … maaf tuan, ta’ada jawapan dari No 1 – saya sambung No 2, OK? (but without waiting for an acknowledgement, she connected Jann-Tan to Ext No 2)
Voice (abrupt): Ya, siapa?
Jann-Tan: Jay.
Voice: J? Hi Boss, you sound a bit hoarse and rough … hehehe … been through a lot these last few days, haven’t you ... (then breaking into a Cliff Richard song) ... Many a tears has to fall, but it's all in the game ...
Jann-Tan: Siapa tu?
Voice: K.
Jann-Tan (quickly slipping in question about possible connection between auntie’s disappearance and the shooting at the forest reserve): K, you know, the shooting business ….. (but before he could finish)
Voice: Kow tim!
Jann-Tan: What, she’s been shot?
Voice: No, not her, remember, that’s settled. I meant J.
Jann-Tan: Jay? Me?
Voice: Hehehe … Hey Boss, we agreed we'll refer to you as J rather than K but it's that bloody J, he’s kow tim.
Jann-Tan (confused): I am Kay but also Jay but then not that Jay, with you as Kay but not me, cause I'm Kay ... er ... Jay? Hmmm, this reminds me of the Bush-Rice story of who’s the president of China?
Voice: Hehehe, Boss, you’re in top form. I love that one: Bush asked “Who’s the president of China?” And that poor Rice answered “Hu!”, and the president “Look, that what’s what I am asking: Who’s the president of China”. And we have the two of them throwing the Who, Hu, Who, Hu, Who to and from between themselves … hehehe .. that president really tidak guna.
Jann-Tan: Guna?
Voice: Kow tim. Hehehe … right smack on target … two birds with one bullet … hehehe, excuse the pun.
Jann-Tan: That’s a lot of kow tim and birds, but I want to know about the shooting …..
Voice: Boss, no names over the phone please, you never know who might be listening, the big MM-onster ... hehehe. Suffice to say those two have been kow tim.
Jann-Tan (decides to shoot his usual parting penalty shot): OK, if you say so, then kow tim yee.
Voice: Er … kow tim yee … what’s that?
Brrrrr …rrrrr. … rrrrr (phone cut off)
Betty-Na: Well?
Jann-Tan: Nothing about aunt. No news is good news.
Betty-Na: What’s that about kow tim yee – sounds like 9.2?
Jann-Tan (mischievous snarl/grin): Darling, have I told you about that Kelantan mufti who said women who abuse their husbands can be fined RM 1,000 or imprisoned for 6 months? Too many questions to a hubby would be a form of abuse, but I’ll settle for a hug (snarl/grin)
And the two loving Bigfoots stroll back into a forest near Kota Tinggi.
Voice: K.
Jann-Tan (quickly slipping in question about possible connection between auntie’s disappearance and the shooting at the forest reserve): K, you know, the shooting business ….. (but before he could finish)
Voice: Kow tim!
Jann-Tan: What, she’s been shot?
Voice: No, not her, remember, that’s settled. I meant J.
Jann-Tan: Jay? Me?
Voice: Hehehe … Hey Boss, we agreed we'll refer to you as J rather than K but it's that bloody J, he’s kow tim.
Jann-Tan (confused): I am Kay but also Jay but then not that Jay, with you as Kay but not me, cause I'm Kay ... er ... Jay? Hmmm, this reminds me of the Bush-Rice story of who’s the president of China?
Voice: Hehehe, Boss, you’re in top form. I love that one: Bush asked “Who’s the president of China?” And that poor Rice answered “Hu!”, and the president “Look, that what’s what I am asking: Who’s the president of China”. And we have the two of them throwing the Who, Hu, Who, Hu, Who to and from between themselves … hehehe .. that president really tidak guna.
Jann-Tan: Guna?
Voice: Kow tim. Hehehe … right smack on target … two birds with one bullet … hehehe, excuse the pun.
Jann-Tan: That’s a lot of kow tim and birds, but I want to know about the shooting …..
Voice: Boss, no names over the phone please, you never know who might be listening, the big MM-onster ... hehehe. Suffice to say those two have been kow tim.
Jann-Tan (decides to shoot his usual parting penalty shot): OK, if you say so, then kow tim yee.
Voice: Er … kow tim yee … what’s that?
Brrrrr …rrrrr. … rrrrr (phone cut off)
Betty-Na: Well?
Jann-Tan: Nothing about aunt. No news is good news.
Betty-Na: What’s that about kow tim yee – sounds like 9.2?
Jann-Tan (mischievous snarl/grin): Darling, have I told you about that Kelantan mufti who said women who abuse their husbands can be fined RM 1,000 or imprisoned for 6 months? Too many questions to a hubby would be a form of abuse, but I’ll settle for a hug (snarl/grin)
And the two loving Bigfoots stroll back into a forest near Kota Tinggi.
********
One word... CLASSIC!!!
ReplyDeletethanks buddy (snarl/grin)!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Cheers, matey. I owe you one.
ReplyDeleteYou know, you could come up with some sort of Chronicles also. ;)