The Curious Case of Rafizi Ramli: Missing, Presumed Employed (Humour)
23 May 2025 • 8:00 AM MYT
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Mihar Dias
A behaviourist by training, a consultant and executive coach by profession
Credit Microsoft Copilot
By Mihar Dias May 2025
Dateline: Putrajaya, 2026.
It was only a couple of years ago that Rafizi Ramli, Malaysia’s self-styled data crusader and Economy Minister, was confidently plotting the nation’s economic destiny via spreadsheets and optimistic PowerPoint decks. Now? The man seems to have vanished with the same efficiency as affordable eggs and cheap broadband.
The trigger for his sudden absence from national headlines was, of course, the recent PKR party elections — a contest many described as “friendly,” though only in the way crocodiles are friendly to passing wildebeests. Rafizi, having boldly pledged to resign if defeated, found himself facing not just any opponent but the political equivalent of Malaysian royalty: Nurul Izzah Anwar, daughter of the party president and the current party chairman, Wan Azizah.
Unsurprisingly, Rafizi lost.
Some expected a grand send-off, perhaps a stirring farewell address filled with earnest metaphors about broken systems and digital futures. Instead, Rafizi quietly disappeared, reportedly spotted last at a petrol station in Semenyih, purchasing a Slurpee and a copy of Utusan Malaysia (for old times' sake, one assumes).
Credit Microsoft Copilot
Party insiders suggest he’s now “taking time off” — Malaysian political code for “waiting for everyone to forget the whole thing so you can resurface as a GLC chairman.” Rumour has it he’s considering a new venture: a data-driven ayam kampung farm where chicken feed is allocated via blockchain.
Meanwhile, Nurul Izzah has gracefully assumed the party leadership, promising a new chapter while retaining much of the previous chapter’s footnotes. Her statements about party unity have been well-received, especially by those in the party most skilled at nodding.
As for Rafizi’s former supporters, some have pivoted to other causes, while others now sell artisanal sambal on TikTok. Such is politics in Malaysia: one day you’re the future, the next you’re a meme captioned “Remember this guy?”
A veteran observer summed it up neatly over kopi tarik: “In this country, no one’s really finished. They’re just offscreen, plotting the next scene.”
And somewhere out there, perhaps in a converted shipping container café in Rawang, a man with a laptop and a thousand pivot tables waits for the phone to ring.
Party insiders suggest he’s now “taking time off” — Malaysian political code for “waiting for everyone to forget the whole thing so you can resurface as a GLC chairman.” Rumour has it he’s considering a new venture: a data-driven ayam kampung farm where chicken feed is allocated via blockchain.
Meanwhile, Nurul Izzah has gracefully assumed the party leadership, promising a new chapter while retaining much of the previous chapter’s footnotes. Her statements about party unity have been well-received, especially by those in the party most skilled at nodding.
As for Rafizi’s former supporters, some have pivoted to other causes, while others now sell artisanal sambal on TikTok. Such is politics in Malaysia: one day you’re the future, the next you’re a meme captioned “Remember this guy?”
A veteran observer summed it up neatly over kopi tarik: “In this country, no one’s really finished. They’re just offscreen, plotting the next scene.”
And somewhere out there, perhaps in a converted shipping container café in Rawang, a man with a laptop and a thousand pivot tables waits for the phone to ring.
Rafizi has been mainly missing since 2023
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